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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

He cheated repeatedly now says he's changed... Is it possible?

My fiancé has been cheating on me since the beginning of our relationship. I caught him, for the first time about a year ago. A few more times since then. Last one being Christmas. I'm so hurt. I loved this man so much that I moved across the country with my three young children for him! He says he's changed but I'm so hurt and angry that I can. Stop myself from being bitchy half the time! My stress levels are through the roof and now I'm supposed to move with him to a place where no one will know our history for a "clean start". Do I go, or do I say no and get rid of him once and for all??
by on Sep. 7, 2012 at 8:40 PM
Replies (31-37):
MMerrill
by Melissa on Sep. 9, 2012 at 4:56 PM

Sadly, moving or running away from your past/problems doesn't just make them dissapear.  When people are like that, it's not just a few bad mistakes or habits...it's WHO they are and a lot of times that doesn't change, and if they do it takes years.  I whole heartedly believe that people can and do change but they have to want to change for themselves and only in their own time.  Regardless if he changes or not, if you stay with him will you be able to let it go and move on from it?  Are you ready to trust him again?  Or will it constantly eat at you and continue to ruin your relationship weather it's still happening or not?  If you stay with him be willing to fully move on and let it go, or else you will always be miserable and wondering.  If you can't do that don't even try.  It fully takes 2 to recover from cheating.  Good luck girl, that's some tough stuff to deal with either way you choose.

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Mommy2BeAmy
by on Sep. 9, 2012 at 4:58 PM

It is unlikely he changed but definately possible.

Sometimes, something happens and wakes these people up to realize what they have in front of them and what they're doing is wrong, and they change their life totally. He will have temptations for sure but if he is serious, they wont even bother him. Like I said, it is unlikely he changed in most situations you hear they cant stop but there are the few out there that do change permenantly. Trust me--

You know him, you know him better than any of us. You're the one who should make that decision in the end if hes worth the chance again or not.

Jackie19780108
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 6:44 PM
Thank u to everyone for your responses. The move was MY idea in the beginning, before I knew that he was still cheating. It was because his ex wife lives in this small
Town and he's been here twenty years... I just feel
Like he's sitting in "dirty bath water" so to speak. I'm still not sure what to do. And as one of you said. I need to be willing to drop all of it in order to move on.... Thanks so much!
CameronsMommy23
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 6:49 PM
Big hugs!! Look into your heart and do what you feel is best for you.
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justpeachy71904
by Silver Member on Sep. 23, 2012 at 6:53 PM
First of all hugs momma.

Second of all imo just my opinion, habitual offenders of any kind are not fixable. He might be temporarily but he will eff up eventually. I'm sorry
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nsparky1964
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 7:11 PM
Unless he's gone they a life changing event, like watching his wife/so die a long death, say like a cancer...I would be hard pressed to say they'd change...and sometime I wonder about surviving a tragidty ...IMO
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Gmgej
by Michele on Sep. 23, 2012 at 7:20 PM

I wouldn't give a cheater a second chance especially since it has been happening from the begining. I am thinking you need to find a codependents group and seek help.


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