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Husband staying out late after restaurant job

Posted by on Sep. 10, 2012 at 4:21 AM
  • 7 Replies

Having a baby is tough and us moms go through it right away and have to adapt and change instantly, while I am discovering that the dads have a little longer time to adjust. I'm 5 months post pardum and my husband works in a restaurant and there is a local bar right down the road.  He has gone out on the weekends for a couple beers while I am at home sleeping cause it is so late and convenient.  He is not a drinker, but he says he needs an outlet...  One of the most awful feelings in the world is waking up at 2am and your husband is not next to you in bed and there is no text or phone call. I know he is not cheating on me, but this is not fare! I'm so angry I don't know what to do. I thought he was in a car crash or in the hospital cause he promised he wasn't going to ever not let me know if he was going out again, cause this wasn't the first time.  He is such an amazing man and father and then he pulls this stupid selfish irresponsible stunt on me.  He worked a double all day long and then went out till 2am.  What am i missing? Is he in denial about our baby or us?

by on Sep. 10, 2012 at 4:21 AM
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Replies (1-7):
by Member on Sep. 10, 2012 at 5:10 AM
That's infuriating.

You've got to find a time to speak with him, with an even voice and share your concerns. Hopefully he'll come around.
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by Silver Member on Sep. 10, 2012 at 5:45 AM

It's very typical in the restaurant business to go out with co-workers after work,I would ask him to limit it to one night a week and to let you know by text so you don't worry.

by on Sep. 10, 2012 at 5:51 AM
2 moms liked this
My husband would not get away with that.. first of all if you have worked all day the smart thing to do is come home get some rest and relax. I cant imagine someone being tired from working all dayand adding drinks to that.. at least thats how i think.. your husband does have a responsibility to you and the baby.. where is your night cap at the end of a long day? How is it fair for him to use being at work as an excuse to stay out even later.. shouldnt he use that energy he has to sit back and lolligag to at least relieve you of being with baby most of the time.? Ypu giys need to talk because he wont see anything wrong with it until you male him and so what if his co workers do i Every
by on Sep. 10, 2012 at 6:30 AM
You have to put your foot down hard.
Make him see your point of view.
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by Michele on Sep. 10, 2012 at 6:59 AM

I am sorry he is doing that. I wouldn't tolerate that once let alone over and over. 

by on Sep. 10, 2012 at 8:39 AM
From my own same situation experience and seeing my sister go through it also,seems he is using the selfish way to escape things at home.I think men take it harder the changes at home after a baby comes...But don't let it slide,tell him how you feel.My husband used to pull the same crap and after a while of just not saying anything it got more often than not...Now that he has "grown up" he said that the coming home and feeling he was expected to tend to the baby and listen to me complain about no sleep no time for me just made him not want to come home....He now knows it was wrong of him and freely admits it and is a wonderful husband and father(who comes home and spends days off with the kids)Don't let your feelings go ignored and hope things get better...
by on Sep. 10, 2012 at 8:44 AM

my dh had a night out with the boys one night shortly after we married...he staggered in at 5am...i was worried, scared and frankly pissed off...when he woke later that morning he started to apologize for getting home so late...i simply told him that i don't care what time he comes home, but i do at least deserve a text/phone call...he kinda pooh-poohed it off until i asked him what if i came home at 5am without a text or phone call...his attitude changed immediately...since then, if he's out past midnight i get not only a call but a text...

you gotta nip that in the bud immediately, or it's only going to get worse....

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