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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Scared to get close

Posted by on Sep. 17, 2012 at 10:27 AM
  • 8 Replies

BF dumped me twice a couple months into relationship. The first weekend he did it, he had an ex over.  We've been together for about 2 years.  I am afraid he will do it again, and for that I am too scared to get close.  I do love him.....but I am afraid of heart ache.  How do I get over the fear?

by on Sep. 17, 2012 at 10:27 AM
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Replies (1-8):
MMerrill
by Melissa on Sep. 17, 2012 at 11:39 AM
1 mom liked this

If it was that long ago you need to move on, you are only hurting yourself if you don't.  You are going to spend all your time worrying and guarding yourself...when you are with someone and truly love each other you shouldn't have to keep that guard up, it get's tiring.  And if you can't move on and trust him maybe you shouldn't be with him, that's not the way to live no matter how much you love someone :(

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Hottmomma607
by Trica on Sep. 17, 2012 at 11:44 AM

Thats a tough one! I really don't know? I think you need to follow your heart,you know he hasn't done it. But your head keeps telling you he will! And if he isn't someone you can give yourself to completely b/c your waiting for the other shoe to drop? Then thats not healthy!

ShannaBee
by Platinum Member on Sep. 17, 2012 at 3:58 PM

I'm not sure if you can ever get over past hurt. Take things slow. He should be doing everything he can to make it up to you and make you feel comfortable.

aidenmomplus4
by on Sep. 17, 2012 at 4:17 PM

That must be hard but my advice to you is either try your best to see your bf in a positive light because he has really changed and he would not do something like that you again and keep telling yourself that and pointing out to yourself why he is so great and why he loves you until you feel confident OR you are feeling afraid to get close because deep down something is stopping you, something is making you doubt it will last.

kevinzwifey
by on Sep. 17, 2012 at 7:06 PM

MY hubby and I have been together for over 5 years, When we first got together within the 1st 2 months he was still talking to his BM, behind my back of course, Not being sexual with her but was considering being with her again, he was honest and told me he chose me and was scared of losing me after that, well I stayed and it was so tough for me to trust him bc he started our relationship based on lies, but Eventually I got over it, I realize that he truly loves me and im who he wanted to be with and he has made it up to me ALOT over the years, he still feels guilty about it even though I chose not to bring it up, it does still hurt sometimes but I just say "Hell No This is my man, my happiness and I refuse to let a past issue take that and destroy me".. I know how you feel though and  you just gotta open your eyes to what you have in life now, Dont Live in the past, It no longer exist!

2lilmamas
by on Sep. 18, 2012 at 6:19 AM
Quoting aidenmomplus4:

That must be hard but my advice to you is either try your best to see your bf in a positive light because he has really changed and he would not do something like that you again and keep telling yourself that and pointing out to yourself why he is so great and why he loves you until you feel confident OR you are feeling afraid to get close because deep down something is stopping you, something is making you doubt it will last.


Ladybug1260
by on Sep. 18, 2012 at 8:06 AM

I'm not a forgive and forget type of person.  People don't change.  Never say never.....that's like an abuser saying they would never hit someone again.  People don't change.  Of course I dont want to get close as stated in the subject heading of the post.  He has dumped me twice, why wouldn't he a third time....once again people do NOT change. 

Quoting aidenmomplus4:

That must be hard but my advice to you is either try your best to see your bf in a positive light because he has really changed and he would not do something like that you again and keep telling yourself that and pointing out to yourself why he is so great and why he loves you until you feel confident OR you are feeling afraid to get close because deep down something is stopping you, something is making you doubt it will last.


aidenmomplus4
by on Sep. 18, 2012 at 3:15 PM
1 mom liked this

So if your belief is that he wont change and he will dump you again , then why stay?  Why bother trying to open yourself up to him?

Quoting Ladybug1260:

I'm not a forgive and forget type of person.  People don't change.  Never say never.....that's like an abuser saying they would never hit someone again.  People don't change.  Of course I dont want to get close as stated in the subject heading of the post.  He has dumped me twice, why wouldn't he a third time....once again people do NOT change. 

Quoting aidenmomplus4:

That must be hard but my advice to you is either try your best to see your bf in a positive light because he has really changed and he would not do something like that you again and keep telling yourself that and pointing out to yourself why he is so great and why he loves you until you feel confident OR you are feeling afraid to get close because deep down something is stopping you, something is making you doubt it will last.



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