Being Honest

[Babujai]

It's a wonderful thing to have a husband that loves me so much and knows me well enough to be honest, even when it hurts.

My family is going through some things right now. My little sister is pregnant. She's not married and holding down a job that doesn't pay much and living in a tiny apartment and my dad is being really mean and ugly about the whole thing. I love my dad, but he's a difficult, judgmental man. DH really broke it down for me a little while ago. He said my dad is a bully and we (my mom, my siblings and I) let him get away with it. It was hard to hear but true. Now I feel like I've got to have some equally honest conversations with my mom and that'll hurt, both her and me. I don't know how to start or what exactly to say, but I know that it needs to be said.

I'm so grateful that DH and I have such a different relationship than my parents and I love him so much.

I know this was kind of a rambling post...I just had to get it out of my head.

[MMerrill]

It's good to have that kind of honestly, without being too harsh (because it IS your dad) or anything he let you know how it was and what he saw from the outside.  Kind of refreshing sometimes.  I really appreciate when my husband is honest like that even if it's not always something I want to hear.

[Hottmomma607]

I thnk thats great he did that! My DH just broks some things down to me about my sister, who he knows she frustrates me with her ways! And he said he doesn't love her less! But I am his wife and if she's hurting me then its hurting him!
Good luck with your family!

[nicole2884]

why do you feel the need to talk to her, i mean what is the benifit , do you hope to change how she sees things an her leave your dad? i mean what is your goal, do you think it will help you an her 

or should you leave well enough alone 

[Babujai]

I think she needs to understand that I won't be bullied by him anymore and I won't stand for him bullying my little sister. I don't know if anything will change, but I feel like I need to make a definite statement. My goal is communication.

Quoting nicole2884:

why do you feel the need to talk to her, i mean what is the benifit , do you hope to change how she sees things an her leave your dad? i mean what is your goal, do you think it will help you an her 

or should you leave well enough alone 

[nicole2884]

good luck, i hope that you get peace of mind

Quoting Babujai:

I think she needs to understand that I won't be bullied by him anymore and I won't stand for him bullying my little sister. I don't know if anything will change, but I feel like I need to make a definite statement. My goal is communication.

Quoting nicole2884:

why do you feel the need to talk to her, i mean what is the benifit , do you hope to change how she sees things an her leave your dad? i mean what is your goal, do you think it will help you an her 

or should you leave well enough alone 

[Dayna29]

I agree for your goals to help your family, but I suggest not pushing it if your mom doesn't want to talk about it. She sees how he is they way she wants to or she doesn't it because she doesn't want to have problems. For what ever the reason could be, just don't push it so you don't lose your mom. Good luck!

[Babujai]

Thanks. That's definitely a concern of mine. I don't want to put her in a position where she feels like she has to choose between her husband and her kids because no matter what she chose she'd be miserable.

Quoting Dayna29:

I agree for your goals to help your family, but I suggest not pushing it if your mom doesn't want to talk about it. She sees how he is they way she wants to or she doesn't it because she doesn't want to have problems. For what ever the reason could be, just don't push it so you don't lose your mom. Good luck!