How do you feel about your boyfriend/husband having single female friends?

[Jess4907]

The other day my boyfriend of 1 yr was talking to a female friend (whos single) on Facebook who he use to hang out with a lot before he met me. He told me he was talking to her at the time so he wasn't try to hide it or anything. I was sitting next to him while he was talking to her and happen to look over as he was asking her "would you have actually dated me" her reply was "yes." Apparently they were each others back up plan. New years of 2011 they told each other that if they hadn't found someone by new years 2012 that they would start dating and see what happend but he met me Aug 2011 and we've been together ever since. I know the back up plan thing was said before we met but I don't know it still kinda bothers me cause I mean there would have to be some kind of feelings there for them to make the plan Right? And why would it matter if she would of dated him or not... I don't understand the point of him asking that. He said he was joking when he asked he said they use to joke all the time about dating each other and told each other I love you. But anyway he ended the convo asking if she wanted to get coffee and catch up then gave her his number and she gave him hers. I trust him and everything and he has never gave be a reason to think that he would ever cheat but how would you feel?

[sleepymommy87]

Yeahhhhhh I'd never let that fly. Sounds like he isn't ready to let go of his backup plan. Shit would hit the fan if I was in your position.

[mamanay041010]

I think in relationships there has to be a certain level or respect for one another.. i also dont see theneed to joke lile that if he is with you.. to me thats lile a gateway question to hell.. it starts as him asking that and then her explaining her feelings and them confessing how they both felt and possibly still feel for each other.. me and my husband have an agreement that exs or people who were romantic interests of any kind arent people we should keep contact with.. of course we arearridd and i dont know the level of commitment in your relationship.. but it sounds like you are concerned i think at that moment you should have expressed your discomfort with the conversation and them talking.. sometimes men think if theyention part of a situation it negates telling the whole truth..because they at some point saw one another as potential partners and still have some reason for that to be relavent i say you need to lay down some ground rules

[Pink.Frosting]

He doesn't, lol, so it's not an issue.

[godsgirl26]

Quoting sleepymommy87:

Yeahhhhhh I'd never let that fly. Sounds like he isn't ready to let go of his backup plan. Shit would hit the fan if I was in your position.

[godsgirl26]

I wouldn't like him having single female friends because i know how women are sneaky, scandalous, backstabber pieces of yeah cant say the word lol.
I wouldn't have single male friend because they have always tried to get at me. So i stay away from single male friends & my husband stay away from single female friends. Problem solved :)

[sleepymommy87]

Also I should point out that my answer to your title question is that I don't mind if my husband has single female friends. He's good friends with a few of his female co workers that are single, and I'm actually friends with them too, but we're also married and have a deep level of commitment to each other that has grown over the past fifteen years since we first met so it's different.

[Sunshine257]

It would make me uncomfortable.. He has single female friends in his Facebook but he doesn't hang out with other women alone. I don't either I have to be with a group of people. Not because he said so I do it out of respect for him. We never talk about it we just both don't do it.

[Mom2Phoenix2011]

My husband has a lot of single female friends as I have a lot of single male friends. It does not bother us in the least, including the ones that have been part of our romantic past. We know where our hearts are, and trust each other.

[exhaustedmother]

I would not let my husband have any single female friends, not that I don't trust my husband he never gave me any reason to distrust him it is just that I don't trust other women. I know how sneaky they can be.

[nsparky1964]

dh has single female friends, and they have been his friends long before he and i got together...i am ok with all of them except for 2 of them...one i just don't like as a person, her gender has nothing to do with the reasons i don't like her...the other one on the other hand has no respect for the fact that he is married..after a night of drinking, she'll send dirty text msgs to dh...thankfully, he nips it in the bud, and tells me/shows me about the msg's...This has caused some tensions between us, i've told him that he needs to set her straight, he does text her back and says  'Ummm thanks?, but you do know that i am married, and i love my 9's, so please stop"..it'll stop then a month or so later he'll get another one...I have also texted her telling to stop, she apologizes for disrespecting our marriage, then again in a month or so, it starts...I throw my hands up on that..dh and i have many "talks" about her, but he shows me the text and only hears from him when she's drunk, and she doesn't live near us, so it may not be as threatening to me, just pisses me off...