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Need advice please! Is it me or something else?

Posted by on Sep. 18, 2012 at 3:41 PM
  • 17 Replies

My husband and I have been married almost a year. We have 2 children. My son from a previous relationship almost 4, and our daughter together almost 2. He works full time, and I stay at home with the kids, and watch another little one full time. My husband and I have always had a very great couple. I am his laid back, and he is my all out there, loud, goofy, center of attention. We have always been on the same page when it came to in the bed room. He has always wanted sex at least 4 times a week and it has been this way since the beginning. Sex has never been an issue with us, its something that each of us has always looked forward to once the kids are in bed. Our time.

Well recently my husband has started going to the gym with a friend of his (male) and has really gotten on this health kick. I'm happy for him that he is wanting to work out and is watching his health more. but now, well I just don't know. He gets up every morning and is at the gym at 5am, comes home takes a shower and goes to work. Gets home about 6pm. Doesn't really do much when he gets home, plays with the kids a little and thats it. I give the kids a bath and put them to bed. While I am putting the kids to bed he jumps in the shower and heads to bed himself. By the time I am done picking up and then get myself ready for bed hes asleep. He use to never go to bed before me. He always helped me pick up then we went to bed together.

What happen to the man that couldn't wait to get me in the bed? There have been times when I couldn't even get my PJs on good with out him trying to take them off, or if I want to sleep nude it was like his body just knew I was naked, and sleeping or not this man was awake and ready. We haven't been close in the bed for 2 weeks!! I have went to bed naked 4 different times and NOTHING! At first I thought well maybe he is tired, but now I just don't know. I don't think my husband is cheeting, but what is wrong? I am happy he is getting in shap, but at the same time I am very upset because every since he has been going to the gym we now have no sex life. I am loosing my mind, and am very frustrated. Please help! What can I do? Or should I just not do anything and wait it out.

by on Sep. 18, 2012 at 3:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Sep. 18, 2012 at 3:44 PM
Talk to him!! Let him know how you feel and ask him what's going on.
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by on Sep. 18, 2012 at 3:48 PM

You definitely need to talk to him and why this sudden change. Also, is he a porn user? That could be how he's dealing with his desires. And increasing muscles - that also increases testosterone. So that is not an issue. But this needs to be discussed.

by on Sep. 18, 2012 at 3:55 PM
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He's suddenly interested in looking good, but not for you & ignoring you completely?  I hate to suggest this & I know you don't want to think it, but that sounds to me like he is getting those needs met somewhere else.  You don't go from 4x a week to 2 weeks of none, I don't care how much you are working out.  His going to bed before you sounds like he is avoiding you.  A man's sex drive doesn't just shut off like that, are you absolutely sure he is going to the gym??  His behavior is classic for having an affair.  Does he have a membership somewhere?  Where? Were I you, I would be asking.  If he is evasive, or gets angry you asked, you will have your answer.  So sorry, I hope he isn't messing around, but it sounds like he very well could be.  Hugs!

by on Sep. 18, 2012 at 3:56 PM
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sounds like his new routine is kicking his booty, maybe like going to the gym he needs to pencil you in his schedule, m/w/f i hit the gym t/th/saturday i have sex with my wife an sunday is a free for all

maybe if he looks at it that way it well help know thats not romantic but

ALSO TELLL HIM HOW YOU FEEL , guys are dumb sometimes you gotta spell it out for them

by on Sep. 18, 2012 at 4:02 PM
You might want to rethink the cheating . It's often said if a man or women start changing everything ( and its not a joint decision) and not wanting sex it's bc they are trying to become attractive to someone else. Just sit down and ask him. Communication is the key.
by on Sep. 18, 2012 at 4:21 PM

Men don't normally change their routine. Your womans intuition is telling you that their is something up. Follow your mind girl Talk to your husband, I got into a work out kick myself, trust me it gives you more energy not less. HOwever, a lot of times because you are using your energy in another way one might now require as much sex as they once did. Once a person gives something else their attention it could lower their appetite in activities that they once was heavily into. I would talk to him and then I would also watch for subtle changes in behavior. We as woman know when something changes we often just deny. Talk, look and listen and follow through because you know.

by on Sep. 18, 2012 at 4:39 PM
All i know is that my dh wanted it more often when he started hitting the gym and he works long days too.
by Silver Member on Sep. 18, 2012 at 4:57 PM

You need to communicate with your husband your feelings.  I feel _____________ when you do this.  This is what couples do regurly when there are difficulties in the relationship.

by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 12:42 PM

This article is why I am thinking something is going on. 

by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 12:44 PM


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