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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

stupid things keep popping up

Posted by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:39 PM
  • 17 Replies
I'm usually not an insecure person, but lately things have been adding up that are making me think that something is off with my DF. Two different people that know him and his ex brought it up to me that he still has feelings for this ex and isn't with her simply because she moved on. So her decision not his. Both times I brought it up to him and he reassured me that he has no feelings for her.

I let it go both times, but he has been growing distant lately. Doesn't call or text as much during the day. Barely kisses me anymore when he walks in the door like he used to. I practically have to jump him for sex lately.

Idk. I just don't feel the love like I used to from him and I'm worried that there is love for someone else brewing. What do you think?
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by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:39 PM
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unsuspected
by Gold Member on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:41 PM
6 moms liked this
Listen to your gut.
women's intuition is usually spot on.
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RavenDravenF
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:42 PM
Idk
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sydjademom24
by Rachel J on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:45 PM
1 mom liked this
Like the other post said, listen to ur gut. Its usually right. There is some reason he's acting differently. Find out weather its stress or cheating.
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KyrinM
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 1:49 PM
Sit him down, ask him if there is something bothering him. Tell him how you are feeling. Communication is important, just don't accuse him of anything, just tell him you are feeling a bit insecure & that he seems to be distant & distracted, is he okay, is there something wrong you should know about? Quit guessing & go to the source. Let him know what you are hearing on the grapevine, also let him know it is okay to still have feelings for his ex. No one should expect all feelings for someone to die completely. I honestly still love many of my ex's, do I want them back into my life as a lover or partner, no. But I still love them & want them to be happy. Love is not limited, you don't have to hate your ex to be in love with someone else & happy with the new love & it bothers me when people seem to think you have to or tell you it is wrong to still care.
drakemom1
by Member on Sep. 19, 2012 at 2:00 PM
I agree to a point. I still care about my ex in a sense that I care about my friends. I barf thinking romantically about him though lol. I don't think I would use the word love though. And if he did care for her like that I wIsh he would just tell me already. I ask him about her and have told him what they say and all I get is, " I can't believe you would think that, I hate that B, etc".


Quoting KyrinM:

Sit him down, ask him if there is something bothering him. Tell him how you are feeling. Communication is important, just don't accuse him of anything, just tell him you are feeling a bit insecure & that he seems to be distant & distracted, is he okay, is there something wrong you should know about? Quit guessing & go to the source. Let him know what you are hearing on the grapevine, also let him know it is okay to still have feelings for his ex. No one should expect all feelings for someone to die completely. I honestly still love many of my ex's, do I want them back into my life as a lover or partner, no. But I still love them & want them to be happy. Love is not limited, you don't have to hate your ex to be in love with someone else & happy with the new love & it bothers me when people seem to think you have to or tell you it is wrong to still care.

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Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Sep. 19, 2012 at 2:06 PM

 No one can tell you why your husband is acting the way he is. You & your husband need to talk

KyrinM
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 2:22 PM
That's what I am saying, love takes a lot of forms, not all love is romantic in nature. My feelings for my ex's is the friendship kind of love, but it is still love. Anyway, the point is he shouldn't feel like he has to hate her if he doesn't. That said, he shouldn't still be in romantic love with her & want her back at this point either. He loves you,& is building his life with you, then he needs to live it & let go of the past, if indeed the past is still haunting him.
kevinzwifey
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 4:41 PM
1 mom liked this

how long have you been with him? And I know u have this gut feeling that he's cheating or has feelings for his ex, but im sorry I dont buy into womans intuition, its your mind, It can make u ugly, beautiful, Make ur s/o a cheater or loyal, U see a change and u heard some thing that could be straight up lies, so yes ur mind is going to wonder, But u have no hard evidence of him cheating and no proof he wants his ex...He could be stressed out(men get that way too) Maybe he also has things on his mind that are weighing him down, everyone always jumps to the first assumption that b/c hes not as snuggley he must be cheating... Sit him down, tell him exactly how you feel and ask him, tell him you just need to know straight and tell him why... Hope everything works out for the best...

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Sep. 19, 2012 at 4:54 PM

 Well I always go with my instincts.

That said, sure he isn't growing distant because you're super insecure and clingy?

blackcat1o2
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 5:00 PM
I'm sorry :( I hope a little talking straightens everything out...
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