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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

People are quick to say "dump him".....do they just say that or would really do that?

Posted by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 8:49 AM
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Did you ever notice whether on your own posts or someone elses that what seems to be one of the first responses people have for you is "dump him".  I sometimes think that people say that just to come off like a hard ass when in reality in their own lives they know that they wouldnt.  Am I off the beaten path here?

by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 8:49 AM
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thecoffeefairy
by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 8:56 AM
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Maybe sometimes. I only suggest it under extreme situations though. Serial cheating or lying. Abuse in any form or he just doesn't care after everything within reason has been tried. I see a lot of that on here though. Women live with a man who cusses them out, in front of kids, forgives cheating and wonders what THEY did to deserve it all. It's shocking to me. All of these women deserve better than that. They deserve unconditional love. Unless they do stand up for themselves, they won't find it though.
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Iconoclast
by Bronze Member on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:03 AM
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I think that it is said a lot but most posts on here are one sided and a large part of the reason for the issue/vent is he woman who wrote the post and the little time taken in the partner she choose. Funny thing is, most don't want to here that they carry some fault in their relationship. They want to shine a light on their spouse, vent, and have everyone agree that the man is an ass. Would most who suggest leaving as the optimum solution actually do it? Maybe,if they knew the whole story but for the same reason, maybe not. Should a woman leave a man that she can so easily cut down to strangers, definitely.
ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:09 AM
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I think it depends on the sitation. Some women come on here with some really effed up stories and by all means SHOULD just pack up their kids and run. 

Sometimes people are just venting and exaggerate, or they condense 5-10 years worth of problems into a 3 paragraph post that makes things sound way worse than they really are. 

I don't think everyone should just "dump him", even in cases of random infidelity. It's more complicated then that, especially if you are married and financially bound together. It's a lot cheaper to break up than to get divorced. If my husband cheated on me and it was just a random one night stand, I don't think I'd leave. It would take me a lonnnnnnnnnnng time to get over it, but I wouldn't dump him. If he cheated multiple times though, or had a prolonged relationship on the side, or cheated and produced a child, that's it. I find that inexcusable. 

In cases of abuse, I wish every woman here who is being physically/emotionally abused would just get off of Cafemom, pack their shit, and leave. Not only are they doing a disservice to themselves, but they are harming their kids in unimaginable ways. In those cases, I mean it whole heartedly when I say "dump him".

ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:11 AM
5 moms liked this

I will also add that the general lack of self-esteem or self-worth of the women on this website astounds me. It's seriously sad.

Ladybug1260
by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:29 AM

Can I ask you a question......Why would you excuse a random one night stand?

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

I think it depends on the sitation. Some women come on here with some really effed up stories and by all means SHOULD just pack up their kids and run. 

Sometimes people are just venting and exaggerate, or they condense 5-10 years worth of problems into a 3 paragraph post that makes things sound way worse than they really are. 

I don't think everyone should just "dump him", even in cases of random infidelity. It's more complicated then that, especially if you are married and financially bound together. It's a lot cheaper to break up than to get divorced. If my husband cheated on me and it was just a random one night stand, I don't think I'd leave. It would take me a lonnnnnnnnnnng time to get over it, but I wouldn't dump him. If he cheated multiple times though, or had a prolonged relationship on the side, or cheated and produced a child, that's it. I find that inexcusable. 

In cases of abuse, I wish every woman here who is being physically/emotionally abused would just get off of Cafemom, pack their shit, and leave. Not only are they doing a disservice to themselves, but they are harming their kids in unimaginable ways. In those cases, I mean it whole heartedly when I say "dump him".


domsmom1026
by Member on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:41 AM

IT is so hard to determine this because of everyones situation differs. My situation is I have a serial strayer. And am determining whether to leave or stay. But having children and financial ties, it is hard to just leave. Everyone is so quick to tell me to leave him, but I think if they were in my situation they wouldnt be so quick to say it.

ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:43 AM
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I don't know if I'd use the word "excuse", because I wouldn't just let it go. I'd be hurt and it would take a long time to work through it, and a lot of ass kissing on his part. We've been married for 10 years. We have a life and a child together. I think people make mistakes, especially if alcohol is involved. If he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and one thing led to another, totally random and not pre-meditated, and not with someone he works with and would ever see again, I think I could chalk it up to piss poor decision making. We are human, we are weak and flawed. If he was truly remorseful and it only happened once, never to happen again, I would be willing to try to work on it.

I think it's something completely different entirely if rather than just once, it happened again. One time is a horrible mistake. If you go back for more, you've made a choice rather than a mistake. 

Quoting Ladybug1260:

Can I ask you a question......Why would you excuse a random one night stand?

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

I think it depends on the sitation. Some women come on here with some really effed up stories and by all means SHOULD just pack up their kids and run. 

Sometimes people are just venting and exaggerate, or they condense 5-10 years worth of problems into a 3 paragraph post that makes things sound way worse than they really are. 

I don't think everyone should just "dump him", even in cases of random infidelity. It's more complicated then that, especially if you are married and financially bound together. It's a lot cheaper to break up than to get divorced. If my husband cheated on me and it was just a random one night stand, I don't think I'd leave. It would take me a lonnnnnnnnnnng time to get over it, but I wouldn't dump him. If he cheated multiple times though, or had a prolonged relationship on the side, or cheated and produced a child, that's it. I find that inexcusable. 

In cases of abuse, I wish every woman here who is being physically/emotionally abused would just get off of Cafemom, pack their shit, and leave. Not only are they doing a disservice to themselves, but they are harming their kids in unimaginable ways. In those cases, I mean it whole heartedly when I say "dump him".



prieta05
by Member on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:47 AM
The people that post things like that dont wanna hear the point of view from other people say Dump him* because they are in denial and cant see the reality thats blocking it.
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Kimja
by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:48 AM

I would say it  and do it, if I was abused and cheated on... Other than that, I wouldn't .... With no trust, abuse and cheating... I coudn't stay, It would hurt like hell, but I also believe there is someone out there that would treat anyone better then that...

fostermomoftwo
by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 10:00 AM

well i dont complain or bitch about my husband to others'. and no ppl wouldnt tell me to get a divorce, if we were dating and we had major issues and i was always bitching about it i can easily see how that would get very annoying to others' and at that point i would be begging that annoying couple to break up.

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