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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

People are quick to say "dump him".....do they just say that or would really do that?

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Did you ever notice whether on your own posts or someone elses that what seems to be one of the first responses people have for you is "dump him".  I sometimes think that people say that just to come off like a hard ass when in reality in their own lives they know that they wouldnt.  Am I off the beaten path here?

by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 8:49 AM
Replies (31-40):
earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Sep. 20, 2012 at 5:34 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't know about other people but I only say something along those lines if I am very serious about it and would do so myself. 

I think if a couple can work things out and the relationship is worth saving then that is what they should do, but if they arent happy or in love anymore or there is abuse or even cheating (I personally wouldnt put up with cheating although I accept that some will). or there is constant fighting and counselng isnt helping then life is too short and too precious and also you dont want to be a bad example of what marriage is to your kids then I think a person should leave and in my own situation I did and it was the best thing for me and my kids (my kids agree)

SciFi and Fantasy Art Girl Reading - Animated by Priscila S. Santa Rosa YVONNE

cocowoods
by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 7:33 PM
I believe that every relationship has a bump big or small. but don't just throw it away because one thing happened. sometimes you have yo fight for what is yours.when you love someone you can forgive and work things out. now if the same problem keeps happening then yeah if your heart says leave and you are unhappy. do what's best for you. Sorry its so long to answer your question.
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pampire
by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 7:39 PM

I think you have a point.  I find myself saying that less and less.  Love and commitment aren't easy.  That's why wedding vows say "for better OR worse."  In violent situations of course, GTFO is good advice.

mylife2329
by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 8:18 PM

agree

Krysden
by Platinum Member on Sep. 20, 2012 at 9:44 PM

I think you might be on to something

Quatrekins
by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 10:29 PM

I -always- said that I'd never tolerate -any- cheating, then I decided like you, I would never tolerate a prolonged affair, but I could maybe forgive a one night stand. I really talked a big talk about dumping him if he screwed up. And then he had not one, but two other girls, one of which was a good friend of mine that he slept with over a period of 4 months.

That was in 2009, and we had no kids and no marriage back then. We got married in 2011 and had our son at the end of the year. I have since forgiven everyone involved, including myself, and am once again on speaking terms with my former friend.

Sometimes I feel like I have drawn multiple lines in the sand in my relationship with DH, and everytime he crosses one, I stamp it out and draw a new one. I think about that a lot when I see posts from people whose answer is always "Run the other way!!", and I wonder if anyone else is like me.

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

I don't know if I'd use the word "excuse", because I wouldn't just let it go. I'd be hurt and it would take a long time to work through it, and a lot of ass kissing on his part. We've been married for 10 years. We have a life and a child together. I think people make mistakes, especially if alcohol is involved. If he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and one thing led to another, totally random and not pre-meditated, and not with someone he works with and would ever see again, I think I could chalk it up to piss poor decision making. We are human, we are weak and flawed. If he was truly remorseful and it only happened once, never to happen again, I would be willing to try to work on it.

I think it's something completely different entirely if rather than just once, it happened again. One time is a horrible mistake. If you go back for more, you've made a choice rather than a mistake. 

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Hottmomma607
by Trica on Sep. 20, 2012 at 10:44 PM
There is always 3 truths to story! But I think giving a quick "leave him" is never the answer for me to give! Too many reasons why I can't speak on someone elses situation! 1. I'm not in it, never experienced! B. Its up to the person in the end! 3. There is only 2 people in a relarionship&2 opinions that matter! C. What I view as an leavable or stayable situation may be different from the person involve in it. Besides abuse! No excuse for that!
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Luv.My.Kidz
by Bronze Member on Sep. 20, 2012 at 10:46 PM

Ehhhh depends on the situation. If the people really know the situation and they are saying it I can understand it. But if they are going off of a tiny fight or a stupid post and say that crap, they are probably miserable in their own life.

Momof2almost
by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 10:48 PM
If it was something major then i'd leave DH in a second. He knows my rules and I know his and our biggies are cheating, porn (not allowed in our home) and lying. He knows that I would leave him and I know that he would leave me should either of us cross the line. If it's something small that can be worked out then we will work it out.
Due9
by Bronze Member on Sep. 20, 2012 at 11:13 PM

I think I say it and mean it. But in reality, it is really hard to do when you are the person involved in the relationship. I know there were plenty of times in the past when I was told I should dump someone, but it took me forever to actually get strong enough to do it.

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