Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

around for me but not for baby?? help!

Posted by   + Show Post
Sooo... ive always had feelings for this guys.. we've been "talking" for 5 yrs but we were never nothing official, now I'm 5mo prego w his baby. we still talk n try to stay friends -like what we were before i got pregnant, but he doesn't want anything to do with the kid. He already has kids n says he would love to be around for My lil one but he genuinely can't. hes super confused n drags me along w him plus he's always busy n doesn't really make time for me. should i even bother staying friends w the guy? It wasn't planned so i don't hold anything against him plus I still have feelings for him n it'd be nice to have that someone around even as friends or whatever ... :/ help
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 1:49 AM
Replies (31-40):
PollyPocket7
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 5:15 PM
I appreciate your opinion but I don't bend over backwards for male attention.. I have a job to keep, school to finish n now a baby to take care of so no that'd be the last thing in my mind
:)


Quoting sucker4myloves:

Gonna be honest here, sounds like you're one of those women who constantly bends over backwards and ruins their lives for male attention. Seek help. You need to grow a spine and learn to love yourself without the validation of a man's attention.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
PollyPocket7
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 5:19 PM
Sounds like you're a grown, understanding person.. thanks!


Quoting disnchntdwife:

Why so harsh??? Women come here for many reasons, being understood and to vent, for advice and fun. To be dogged out is not one of them! "Way to be supportive on CM" ......said no one.



Quoting HouseMa:

Poster child post for 'fucking jesus christ, use protection'


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
PollyPocket7
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 5:23 PM
I appreciate you taking the time to post here but that's not the kind of answers I'm looking for. Thanks anyways


Quoting HouseMa:

Poster child post for 'fucking jesus christ, use protection'


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sucker4myloves
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 5:29 PM
1 mom liked this

Sweetheart...you've been "talking" for fives years but never anything official translates to "I'm his side project and he will never take me seriously but I don't want to admit it and I certainly won't stop the behavior". I know I sound like an asshole...and I kind of am....but it's the truth. And now, because he didn't want a baby but was happy to help create it, you're gonna let him off the hook but still...be...his...friend....that is beyond unfair to that poor baby, how he's treating it. I don't care HOW he is financially, but there is NO reason in the world he can't be there for the child as a father, money or no money. Fathers are more than pocketbooks. They are play, they are bed time stories, they are a firm hand, they are advice, and above all, they are love. He "wants" to be there for his kid but just can't do it? You're letting him use you even further if you continue to allow a jerk like that an easy out. Either he's there, or he's not. Or you're simply wasting your time and emotion.

Quoting PollyPocket7:

I appreciate your opinion but I don't bend over backwards for male attention.. I have a job to keep, school to finish n now a baby to take care of so no that'd be the last thing in my mind
:)


Quoting sucker4myloves:

Gonna be honest here, sounds like you're one of those women who constantly bends over backwards and ruins their lives for male attention. Seek help. You need to grow a spine and learn to love yourself without the validation of a man's attention.



MAINSTREAM MOMS Wanna escape the crunch? Join us!

REDNECK MOMMIES Join to commune with your fellow country mamas!


PollyPocket7
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 5:34 PM
I can see your point of view hun but theres more to the story which theres no need to share. Having a baby is the best thing that could ever happen to me. Thanks!


Quoting HouseMa:

Good Morals don't include randomly sleeping with some dude without protection.


Quoting PollyPocket7:

for the peeps saying u feel bad for this child.. I'm 22 years old, I have health ins which i pay for, I have a good job n i have already bought almost everything for my baby -crib dresser stroller car seat clothes dipers.. you name it! and was also brought up with good morals n knowing that i have to take care of my responsibilities so when he said i should get an abortion i told him to go to hell never wanted to see him again! We didn't talk for a couple months but then he came back around with the 'I wish i could be there, I wish it wasnt mine so me n u could still be friends' bs.



I know I'm gonna be a great mom n id go to the end of the world to make sure of it but i understand that my baby needs a male figure around -specially b/c I'm having boy n a good man would realize that n stick around financially, emotionally or something!



U guys made realize a different point of view which I really appreciate. Ill def take your advices n opinions into consideration b/c yes, my number one priority is my baby.



Thanks everyone, I truly appreciate all of this :-)



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ShannaBee
by Platinum Member on Sep. 26, 2012 at 5:52 PM

I think it's time to cut your losses and move on. He should support his child but he does not sound like relationship material.

PollyPocket7
by on Sep. 26, 2012 at 6:09 PM
That's the reason why I'm here.. so ppl like yourself see a situation from a different point of view and put your two cents in. Yeah, it might not be entirely correct but that's fine I'm not gonna sit here argue with y'all n type my entire life or give out details about this issue. Anyways as you can see I'm a lil confused I admit it but that's why i appreciate all of the comments n opinions n def don't want to be wasting my time, emotions or anything as mentioned. I guess deep down I was hoping he'd rethink the situation n come around. You got some good points tho I'll keep that in mind.
Thanks sweetie !


Quoting sucker4myloves:

Sweetheart...you've been "talking" for fives years but never anything official translates to "I'm his side project and he will never take me seriously but I don't want to admit it and I certainly won't stop the behavior". I know I sound like an asshole...and I kind of am....but it's the truth. And now, because he didn't want a baby but was happy to help create it, you're gonna let him off the hook but still...be...his...friend....that is beyond unfair to that poor baby, how he's treating it. I don't care HOW he is financially, but there is NO reason in the world he can't be there for the child as a father, money or no money. Fathers are more than pocketbooks. They are play, they are bed time stories, they are a firm hand, they are advice, and above all, they are love. He "wants" to be there for his kid but just can't do it? You're letting him use you even further if you continue to allow a jerk like that an easy out. Either he's there, or he's not. Or you're simply wasting your time and emotion.


Quoting PollyPocket7:

I appreciate your opinion but I don't bend over backwards for male attention.. I have a job to keep, school to finish n now a baby to take care of so no that'd be the last thing in my mind

:)





Quoting sucker4myloves:

Gonna be honest here, sounds like you're one of those women who constantly bends over backwards and ruins their lives for male attention. Seek help. You need to grow a spine and learn to love yourself without the validation of a man's attention.





Posted on CafeMom Mobile
AnnaAndIansMom
by Member on Sep. 27, 2012 at 8:12 AM
You say he is not married but you didn't say if he is with his other kids mom as her boyfriend? So my question is Is he 100% single other than stringing you along all these years? If he is and wants nothing to do with y'all's baby then why be his friend? My best friend is a male and he loves my kids and we are just friends. He treats them like he is there uncle buys them gifts and such. Could he at least be there as an uncle?
SassyLaLa85
by Bronze Member on Sep. 27, 2012 at 9:25 AM

It takes two. He didn't want anymore kids, he has many options, condoms, not have sex, vasectomy.  He needs to take care of the baby financially whether he is around or not. You do not have to take care of the baby yourself. It took two to make the baby, it takes two to raise the baby.

olivejuice2
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:56 PM

BUMP!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)