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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

the love dare updated 10/12

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Has anyone done the 40 days and it saved your marriage? I have seen the movie fireproof before and after 3 months of marriage my husband won't kiss or touch me. He has been distant for several weeks and I have tried to talk to him but I get no answers. So yesterday I went to the bookstore and got two copies of the love dare. One for me and one for my husband. I gave it to him last night and he looked at the cover and just set it down didn't even bother to read it. I am going to do the dare and pray that we make it. And we have been together for 4 years and have a 2 year old son.

Update- I am still reading the book and I am up to day 9 on the dares. This book has opened my eyes and I have learned so much. For the first time in weeks my husband invited my to lunch to talk. We talked for several hours and I found out that he thinks I am unhappy. I am not unhappy just kind of in a rut. I am getting a part time job and I am getting more involved in our church. I have also dealt with depression and I saw my Dr two weeks ago and I have been on medication since then. I can tell a difference and in a good way. Thank you again for the kind thoughts, prayers and encouragement!
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by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 10:09 AM
Replies (101-110):
dlane12152007
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:27 PM

if he doesn't seem interested in the book, maybe you could get him to watch the movie with you?

atmsmom2011
by Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:46 PM
Good luck I hope it works.
barefootmommi
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 12:12 AM
A friend of mine did if and he said it really helped them. Best wishes momma
mumnafique
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 12:45 AM
1 mom liked this
Oh cmon dnt be a pessimist. If it didn't work for u, its probably cos u are so negative about things. I have the book but I dnt have a problem marriage but believe it helps in feeling more appreciated. If u are reading the book then I am assuming u are a christian and what God put together let no man set apart. Even if he is not into her, its worth the try. Rather u try and fail than fail to try


Quoting Metteba:

Please, I did the 4 day-thing. Shit went down on a Tuesday and I told him you have until Saturday (4days) to move out anything left after that is going to my yard sale.  He's not into you no mo'.  Just let him go.  As a matter of fact leave your son with him and let your EX take care of him.  ((your prolly a SAHM, so my guess is you are sticking it out, cuz you have no place to go or life experience (job, skool, etc).


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Mayalu
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 1:09 AM
1 mom liked this

First off, i want to say anyone who would tell you you are wasting your time or anything negative doesn't actually care about your feelings... (because there are so negative comments on here) You are being completely unselfish by taking the love dare and good for you! Marriage is not about what we can get out of it, but rather what we can give and share.

I am in a similar situation to you. We have been together 5 1/2 years married for 3 with a 14 month old. DH is distant, cranky, negative. Never wants to cuddle or kiss or hold my hand. Would rather watch tv than hear anything I have to say or read to LO... for years now I have been the one trying with next to nothing in return. He will be great one day and back to himself for two months.. in the last year I had given up on him and things really went downhill but now I have decided to focus on all the promises God has for marriage. I'm tusting God to change us both and give us a better relationship than we've ever had.

Good luck to you!! I have thought about trying this book, it can't hurt. My advice it to make sure you go through the whole thing. Don't give up!! Pray a lot and stay positive. There are lots of supportive ppl here and I'm sure he will respond to you with time if he hasn't yet. prayers for your marriage!

88M
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 1:13 AM

I wish I could offer you the words you need.  My husband is deployed and we are doing The Deployment Love dare....we are strenghthening our new marriage.  My advice to you is do what Caleb did in the movie...embark on the journey even though your husband is bein resistant.  Pray and even on the days the dare is hard do not give up.  Do all forty days..prayerfully...God Honors prayer.

VeeLeigh
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 1:14 AM
1 mom liked this
Seriously? Wow. You're basing your judgement that she's a SAHM on what? And "skool"?....Grow up. A marriage is work. Men don't always know how to communicate what they feel. If kicking him out was the only and best solution out there, the divorce percentage would be 100%. Maybe he doesnt feel appreciated, or feels what he does is not enough, etc. Even if the woman is trying to show love, appreciation, etc, it might not be along with how the man views those things and visa versa.

Good luck with the Love Dare, hun. Keep trying with him. Men can be stubborn but need attention and affection just as much as women do, just in different ways sometimes.


Quoting Metteba:

Please, I did the 4 day-thing. Shit went down on a Tuesday and I told him you have until Saturday (4days) to move out anything left after that is going to my yard sale.  He's not into you no mo'.  Just let him go.  As a matter of fact leave your son with him and let your EX take care of him.  ((your prolly a SAHM, so my guess is you are sticking it out, cuz you have no place to go or life experience (job, skool, etc).


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Uzma_mom_of_2
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 2:55 AM

Personally no, but I do know of several couple in the church who were helped my it. Another book I would highly recommend it "The 5 Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman.

The best things needed are time and dedication.  I wish you loads of luck

______________________________________________________________

 I very rarely bother to check a board twice, so debate, get mad, or whatever it is that'll make you feel better, if you don't like what I have to say, because it won't bother me :)sticking out tongue

Uzma_mom_of_2
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 3:03 AM
1 mom liked this

Bitter much? Apparently you didn't get much "skool", since you make such broad assumptions. And so demeaning as well. Perhaps you are just ignorant of the fact that some women actually CHOOSE to be a stay at home mom. Leave there established careers to be with their children.

And to abandon your child because it didn't work out with the father. That's just pathetic and selfish. I hope that's what you did, because you are definitely a horrible piece of work. And it would be terrible for a child to be trapped with you.


Please disregard everything said here in this very poorly written, bitter response.

Unless some kind of abuse is happening marriages have ups and downs. And take lots of work and compromise.

Quoting Metteba:

Please, I did the 4 day-thing. Shit went down on a Tuesday and I told him you have until Saturday (4days) to move out anything left after that is going to my yard sale.  He's not into you no mo'.  Just let him go.  As a matter of fact leave your son with him and let your EX take care of him.  ((your prolly a SAHM, so my guess is you are sticking it out, cuz you have no place to go or life experience (job, skool, etc).


______________________________________________________________

 I very rarely bother to check a board twice, so debate, get mad, or whatever it is that'll make you feel better, if you don't like what I have to say, because it won't bother me :)sticking out tongue

SouthTxPrincess
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 8:50 AM
My fiance and I did it together and it really helped us. If we hadn't done it we probably would not be together right now. We really do love each other but after three years things had started falling apart and all we did was argue all the time, even in front of other people. We are doing a lot better now and we are always working on it because if not we know it would fall apart again. Good luck and pm me if you wanna talk about it.
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