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the love dare updated 10/12

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Has anyone done the 40 days and it saved your marriage? I have seen the movie fireproof before and after 3 months of marriage my husband won't kiss or touch me. He has been distant for several weeks and I have tried to talk to him but I get no answers. So yesterday I went to the bookstore and got two copies of the love dare. One for me and one for my husband. I gave it to him last night and he looked at the cover and just set it down didn't even bother to read it. I am going to do the dare and pray that we make it. And we have been together for 4 years and have a 2 year old son.

Update- I am still reading the book and I am up to day 9 on the dares. This book has opened my eyes and I have learned so much. For the first time in weeks my husband invited my to lunch to talk. We talked for several hours and I found out that he thinks I am unhappy. I am not unhappy just kind of in a rut. I am getting a part time job and I am getting more involved in our church. I have also dealt with depression and I saw my Dr two weeks ago and I have been on medication since then. I can tell a difference and in a good way. Thank you again for the kind thoughts, prayers and encouragement!
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by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 10:09 AM
Replies (111-120):
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:35 AM

The best marriage advice I got was this: 15 minutes a day follow the Rules of Attachment with your spouse.

1. Eye contact - remember to blink.  Look the person in the eye as you both talk/listen.

2. Smile - smile at them....let the day's stress go and smile because of the person you are with.

3. Touch - hugs/pats/ kiss/touch on the arm

4. Tone - sound sincere, kind, loving

5.Gestures - bodylanguage 

6. Sugar - (yes) real actual something sweet to eat and share as you look into eachother's eyes

These are the rules of Attachment.  Scientificly proven if one of these elements is lacking, Attachment begins to break down.  These rules apply to ANY relationship.  Maybe it will help me with my children when they become teenagers.

I went through a situation where all of these steps dissapeared from my marriage of 10 years due to school/work schedules and my marriage was in danger.  I sought these thing from my husband but he never retruned them.  When he finally came to realize our marrage was in danger he thought intamacy was the answer.  I tell you all it was not.  It still hurt for him to avoid proloned eye contact, not to smile at me.  At marriage counciling the steps above were given us and he began to follow them.  Things are getting better in our marrage now.

by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:32 AM
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i am just in amazement of all the support! thank you!
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by Silver Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 11:11 AM

what is the 40days???

by Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 6:08 PM

I read the about this book last night I did not like it one bit. Why do you need 40 days to do stuff you should do every single day.

You should always make your partner feel needed and special and they just know you care and love them and do not have to guess.

He is distant for a reason maybe its not what you want to hear though.

by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 6:34 PM
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You do the love dare on him.You will see a change.If he ignores you don't quit keep trying.Hang in there.Marriage is so much work.
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:46 PM
I think this is the rudest response someone could give. And I'm sure I am going to be accused of being rude for saying this. Let's give the lady a chance and some hope to work on it w/ her husband!!!

Quoting Metteba:

Please, I did the 4 day-thing. Shit went down on a Tuesday and I told him you have until Saturday (4days) to move out anything left after that is going to my yard sale.  He's not into you no mo'.  Just let him go.  As a matter of fact leave your son with him and let your EX take care of him.  ((your prolly a SAHM, so my guess is you are sticking it out, cuz you have no place to go or life experience (job, skool, etc).

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by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 8:27 AM
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My husband and I are doing it, we just started and will be going on day 2. I am hoping it helps us.
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 12:44 PM

the love dare?

by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:53 PM
I haven't tried it. Hub and I are not religious and I have some problems with anything Kirk Cameron related.
I've had friends try it though.
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by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:55 PM

No I haven't.  I read through it, but I didn't like it.  I think part of the reason is because women would be more likely to try it while guys are acting like asses, and guys will probably continue to act like asses.  He's the one that needs to change.

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