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the love dare updated 10/12

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Has anyone done the 40 days and it saved your marriage? I have seen the movie fireproof before and after 3 months of marriage my husband won't kiss or touch me. He has been distant for several weeks and I have tried to talk to him but I get no answers. So yesterday I went to the bookstore and got two copies of the love dare. One for me and one for my husband. I gave it to him last night and he looked at the cover and just set it down didn't even bother to read it. I am going to do the dare and pray that we make it. And we have been together for 4 years and have a 2 year old son.

Update- I am still reading the book and I am up to day 9 on the dares. This book has opened my eyes and I have learned so much. For the first time in weeks my husband invited my to lunch to talk. We talked for several hours and I found out that he thinks I am unhappy. I am not unhappy just kind of in a rut. I am getting a part time job and I am getting more involved in our church. I have also dealt with depression and I saw my Dr two weeks ago and I have been on medication since then. I can tell a difference and in a good way. Thank you again for the kind thoughts, prayers and encouragement!
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by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 10:09 AM
Replies (51-60):
Caitlin10081989
by Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 12:27 PM

I have not done the 40 days but I want to. Let us know if it saves your marriage. Just do the 40 days without him if he does not want to participate. Hopefully, later he will decide to participate with you. 

vinalex0581
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 12:46 PM

what is it?

Quoting haysyd:

Has anyone done the 40 days and it saved your marriage? I have seen the movie fireproof before and after 3 months of marriage my husband won't kiss or touch me. He has been distant for several weeks and I have tried to talk to him but I get no answers. So yesterday I went to the bookstore and got two copies of the love dare. One for me and one for my husband. I gave it to him last night and he looked at the cover and just set it down didn't even bother to read it. I am going to do the dare and pray that we make it. And we have been together for 4 years and have a 2 year old son.


Megan11587
by Megan on Oct. 5, 2012 at 12:49 PM

 bitter much?

Quoting Metteba:

Please, I did the 4 day-thing. Shit went down on a Tuesday and I told him you have until Saturday (4days) to move out anything left after that is going to my yard sale.  He's not into you no mo'.  Just let him go.  As a matter of fact leave your son with him and let your EX take care of him.  ((your prolly a SAHM, so my guess is you are sticking it out, cuz you have no place to go or life experience (job, skool, etc).

 

vmoneyb7
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 1:35 PM
3 moms liked this

This has to be one of the most asinine replies I have read. "Leave your son with him and let your EX take care of him." WTF?! Do you not care to keep your own kids? and apparently you need "skool" as well. This advice is awful to say the least!!

Quoting Metteba:

Please, I did the 4 day-thing. Shit went down on a Tuesday and I told him you have until Saturday (4days) to move out anything left after that is going to my yard sale.  He's not into you no mo'.  Just let him go.  As a matter of fact leave your son with him and let your EX take care of him.  ((your prolly a SAHM, so my guess is you are sticking it out, cuz you have no place to go or life experience (job, skool, etc).


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funhappymom
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 1:42 PM

The Power of the Praying Wife is awesome. Highly recommend it.

Quoting haysyd:

Thank you for your kind words and I will look for the book the Power of a Praying Wife.

Quoting MomToovey:

 My husband and I have done the Love Dare twice, but honestly, it was "just for fun" - we weren't having any troubles, we just thought it would be fun to do. In our case, it was. We were able to talk about how we felt about each day and what the challenges were, what came easily, etc. For us, it was a great way to spend just a little extra time together focusing on the relationship.


I would go ahead and do it, and keep praying about it. The further along you get, the more noticeable the change will be in you. And that might be just the push your husband needs to put forth the effort as well. And I pray that you two will get to a place where you can do this Love Dare together "just for fun" and use it as a tool to spend more time together talking about each day.


I'd also like to recommend the book The Power of a Praying Wife. This book is especially written for the women who are alone in fighting for their marriage. For the women whose husbands want nothing to do with making things better. And I do believe, once again, that there will be a noticeable change that will be the kick in the pants he needs to start working with you. Then he can start reading The Power of a Praying Husband! The couple that prays for each other has each other forever! :)


m0mmy0ftw02012
by Bronze Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 1:42 PM

I thought fireproof was a great movie. I never heard of the book.... Hope everything works out sweetie!

funhappymom
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 1:47 PM


Quoting m0mmy0ftw02012:

I thought fireproof was a great movie. I never heard of the book.... Hope everything works out sweetie!

The book is what Kirk Cameron does towards his wife in the movie. 



funhappymom
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 1:51 PM
1 mom liked this

OP, I am a true believer in marriage and the vows you say. I've been married 13 years and they haven't always been fun easy years...matter of fact this morning I told my husband to go to work early because he was grumpy, lol.

You both said your vows and had to mean them at the time, at least I hope you did. Fight for those vows now. Do the book, pray about your marriage, ask for God's guidance, do all that you can to make your marriage work. Yes, it's a two way street but if things end-and I pray they won't- at least you will know that you tried your hardest. 

Definitely check out those books that were suggested and check out familylife.com. There are some great resources there. Maybe you and your dh would be able to attend a Weekend to Remember (info on the above website). Good luck to you.

KayDziedzic
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 3:09 PM

I gave DH a beadcatcher and beads a few months ago. He was willing to give it a try and, since we've started beading (Forty Beads by Caroline Evans), our relationship has improved.

I haven't read The Love Dare. But I do believe that committing to a method (which method not being as important as the committment they all require) can help strengthen a marriage. You're showing your spouse that you are committing to making your marriage work.

Start following the Love Dare method. Leave your copy, with your bookmark in it, in a place he'll see it and can peruse if he chooses. I wouldn't be surprised if, after seeing you make an honest and consistant effort for a few weeks, your husband follows your lead. Good luck!

Jeremmy
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 3:51 PM

Im doing it now. In secret, so dh doesnt feel pressured to join in. Thankfully, im just doing it because i think its a great thing to do, not because we are having problems. Im sure you had great intentions...but i think giving him the book and expecting him to do it to you also might be a bit much for someone as uncaring-acting as he is being. I would just do it on your own and see what happens. and remember...the point of it is changing yourself, not your spouse.

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