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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

the love dare updated 10/12

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Has anyone done the 40 days and it saved your marriage? I have seen the movie fireproof before and after 3 months of marriage my husband won't kiss or touch me. He has been distant for several weeks and I have tried to talk to him but I get no answers. So yesterday I went to the bookstore and got two copies of the love dare. One for me and one for my husband. I gave it to him last night and he looked at the cover and just set it down didn't even bother to read it. I am going to do the dare and pray that we make it. And we have been together for 4 years and have a 2 year old son.

Update- I am still reading the book and I am up to day 9 on the dares. This book has opened my eyes and I have learned so much. For the first time in weeks my husband invited my to lunch to talk. We talked for several hours and I found out that he thinks I am unhappy. I am not unhappy just kind of in a rut. I am getting a part time job and I am getting more involved in our church. I have also dealt with depression and I saw my Dr two weeks ago and I have been on medication since then. I can tell a difference and in a good way. Thank you again for the kind thoughts, prayers and encouragement!
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by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 10:09 AM
Replies (71-80):
sadiebug1228
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 6:23 PM
I've never seen that movie and I'm not sure what the 40 day thing is. What's is all about? Me and my fiancé r hitting a rough spot and I want to try something new. We have a 4 year old and a 9 month old
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holmes212
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 6:24 PM
I loved that movie "fireproof" dh & i watched it and he also liked it he said it made him tear up :). Good luck i hope it works out. If not dont let him bring you down when you know you've done all in your power to save what you've built.
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m0mmy0ftw02012
by Bronze Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 6:29 PM

after i saw this post earlier i went on netflix and watched it again... i even looked up the book. I still think this movie is a GREAT movie for married couples even if they are not going though problems. Its just to remind how priceless a marriage should be.

VerdeMom
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 6:46 PM

You've received a lot of different feedback. Both helpful & possibly hurtful. I commend you for taking an active stand to live out your promises. Your commitment to your marriage (or any other promise you make) is yours alone and not dependant on someone else's (ie DH) actions. I encourage you to follow God's call. In the end, the only one you are held accountable for is yourself. My DH and I have a very complicated story; young when married, 3 children together, a 6 year separation, a new SD, and so many ups & downs, but we are now truly happy! Not perfect, but happy. It's all because of Jesus working on both our hearts. Your marriage may be saved or it may fall apart, but in the end you'll feel OK if you know you did everything you could. Hopefully he will too. I encourage you to build up your support group (friends, family, prayer partners), so that you can remember to take care of you too. :) I truly hope it works out for you guys. Sending you love <3  

Frog74
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 6:57 PM
1 mom liked this
All you can do is try- be encouraged.

And to clarify for others- its not a book that the OP reads and then tells her DH what is wring. It is a series of daily challenges, essentially. It's about making sure even the smallest interactions are meaningful and purposeful. How we approach a person can have a huge impact. And the way we approach a person about anything sets the tone for the entire interaction.
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Tarter22
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 7:00 PM

I'VE NEVER TRIED IT, BUT I HOPE IT WORKS FOR YOUR MARRIAGE. MANY BLESSINGS AND PRAYERS GOING OUT TO YOUR FAMILY. hugs

jasyoung2012
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 7:01 PM

My DH and I are doing it, today was day 7 and we have missed a few days and my hormones get the best of me sometimes...we are pregnant with baby #1 and I have had a rough day or two but its helping...we started with small problems but not big ones...I recommend it to all couples whether they are having issues or not...it kept my DH and I from breaking up when we were engaged...we did it then as well...to the best of our ability since we werent married yet and didnt live together...it saved our relationship!

dani0007
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 7:06 PM
1 mom liked this

It helped me more than I can say and i gotta say it took 2 weeks to get to the eighth day since i wouldnt let myself do the next day till i actually did the day i was on..... as he sees you change and try he will respond in kind or run..... my guess if you hunker down and fight for your marriage and press through he will respond

 

FishysButterfly
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 7:46 PM

I definitely wouldn't expect him to do it or to respond right away, it's going to take time. Were you talking before you got married?

vanhoose23
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 7:47 PM
Definitely worth a try!!! I know it helps to remember marriage is a lifelong commitment. My husband and I never through around the "D" word! When you take divorce off th stable and know its not an option, it makes you work things through. Good luck and God bless!!!!
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