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the love dare updated 10/12

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Has anyone done the 40 days and it saved your marriage? I have seen the movie fireproof before and after 3 months of marriage my husband won't kiss or touch me. He has been distant for several weeks and I have tried to talk to him but I get no answers. So yesterday I went to the bookstore and got two copies of the love dare. One for me and one for my husband. I gave it to him last night and he looked at the cover and just set it down didn't even bother to read it. I am going to do the dare and pray that we make it. And we have been together for 4 years and have a 2 year old son.

Update- I am still reading the book and I am up to day 9 on the dares. This book has opened my eyes and I have learned so much. For the first time in weeks my husband invited my to lunch to talk. We talked for several hours and I found out that he thinks I am unhappy. I am not unhappy just kind of in a rut. I am getting a part time job and I am getting more involved in our church. I have also dealt with depression and I saw my Dr two weeks ago and I have been on medication since then. I can tell a difference and in a good way. Thank you again for the kind thoughts, prayers and encouragement!
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by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 10:09 AM
Replies (91-100):
elk571
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:26 PM
3 moms liked this
Quoting Metteba:

Please, I did the 4 day-thing. Shit went down on a Tuesday and I told him you have until Saturday (4days) to move out anything left after that is going to my yard sale.  He's not into you no mo'.  Just let him go.  As a matter of fact leave your son with him and let your EX take care of him.  ((your prolly a SAHM, so my guess is you are sticking it out, cuz you have no place to go or life experience (job, skool, etc).




Excuse me? (Or should I say u). I, like many others here, am a SAHM and that's totally offensive to not just us, but the OP as well for being so abusive in how you're responding being so hateful and confrontational. I stay home bc I choose to, and bc we can still afford it. I have two degrees, was in several law enforcement jobs in addition to 'regular' ones, and have travelled the world before I even left Jr High-and now I'm married to a military service member and war veteran that's given me plenty more 'experience'. As a matter of fact, one if my current volunteer jobs is to run a military group that cares for the needs of all our families in NW TX! I also have four families I could go to if I needed or wanted bc I have grown up with both step families as my own, in addition to having a family member placed w/ me! So I suggest u get ur facts straight and learn to be less judgemental abt things u don't know! On top of it, some ppl stick it out bc they want to, and think it's the right thing when there's nothing more serious like child abuse going on; how dare u suggest a woman abandon her kid like that!
stressedmama24
by New Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:26 PM
That movie was filmed in my town.
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disneyqueen
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:32 PM

My DH and I did the whole love dare book, but we weren't really having major problems.  It did help us improve our marriage and get closer.  The only part we didn't do was the one where you talk to another couple about your marriage.  It was not comfortable for us.  I pray that he  comes around and does the love dare with you and your marriage is better.

devildogtigress
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:36 PM
My husband and I have been married 10 years. Its definitely not easy, but it is worth it. The Love Dare didn't help us when we went through a rough patch because w didn't stick with it. How ever our counselor suggested "Love and Respect" and that was the key for us. We got the book on CD and listened to it together, stopping it to discuss it as needed (which was quite often). It really allowed us to open the closed lines of communication and allowed us to have frank and honest discussion about how we were speaking and treating each other. Us wives don't realize the mpact our words can have over men and the impact these words can have towards the way our husbands act towards us. I strongly recommend it. I suggest getting the audio book and listening to it when he's around. He may not actively listen but things may stand out that encourage him to speak up to you. There might be single tiny thing you're doing that to you is nothing, but to him us emasculating him and causng him down. (im not saying that you are the one in the wrong, but you mentioned he wont communicate so this is just one suggestion that might help encourage him to speak uo and communicate) I was shocked to learn some of the little things I did that I thought were encouraging my husband were actually leaving him feeling inadequate. It was my husbands perception, and I didn't see it until the book said something and he spoke up. (and the same was true forbme, it helped him to see how some tjings he was doing were hurting me)

Hang in there. Its worth it in the end. Above and beyond anything else, though, I would encourage you to start your day b4 reading God's word: the Bible. No help book is going to be as helpful as advice from the very one who created marriage and love, and who brought you two together and created your love.

I will also be praying for you.
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devildogtigress
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:38 PM
Don't feed the troll, ladies. ;)


Quoting Metteba:

Please, I did the 4 day-thing. Shit went down on a Tuesday and I told him you have until Saturday (4days) to move out anything left after that is going to my yard sale.  He's not into you no mo'.  Just let him go.  As a matter of fact leave your son with him and let your EX take care of him.  ((your prolly a SAHM, so my guess is you are sticking it out, cuz you have no place to go or life experience (job, skool, etc).


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A2AMome
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:42 PM

If you have been together for 4 years and have a 2 year old son.  And just married for 3 months and now he is distant.  What else has happend since you were married.  was there an ultimatim?  I wish you the best and the love dare is an awesome challenge.  When you are doing it though keep a journal of how you are feeling too.  It sounds like there may be more going on.   Prayers for your little family as you take on this challenging journey.

whocg23
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:47 PM
My best friend did the love dare and it did save their marriage. They were doing it together, but I think if you star trying, see what happens. I hope things do turn around for you.
Lefty38
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 10:15 PM

One person can't repair a broken relationship. I would not kiss someone's ass that has no regard for me. If you have tried to talk to him and he has nothing for you, that should tell you he could care less. Good Luck with the 40 days, but as I was doing that, I would also be making a plan of action for me and my son if dude doesn't respond favorably. Sounds like he's completely checked out of the relationship.

GatorsWife4Life
by Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 10:59 PM

 I have not done the love dare but I want to. I have seen the movie and it was wonderful. We are just not religious people. Is he depressed maybe? My dh has been a little down, we are going through a lawsuit with the company that fired him, and he has been distant. Just make sure that he knows you are there for him. Men are stubborn and won't just blurt out what is wrong with them like we do. Good luck momma.

hottmamaB
by New Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 11:16 PM

I loved the movie! And I have the love dare book too, just haven't done it yet lol I think it's awesome you are trying! You should do the book, give it your all, pray, have faith! Finish the book! Get into mariage counseling, but if he does not go, thats a red flag....in the end, you will know you gave it your all so you will not have any guilt. If I was you, I would be very suspicious of cheating if he is acting so distant and it's been months since you two have been intimate...just my opinion....

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