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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

the love dare updated 10/12

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Has anyone done the 40 days and it saved your marriage? I have seen the movie fireproof before and after 3 months of marriage my husband won't kiss or touch me. He has been distant for several weeks and I have tried to talk to him but I get no answers. So yesterday I went to the bookstore and got two copies of the love dare. One for me and one for my husband. I gave it to him last night and he looked at the cover and just set it down didn't even bother to read it. I am going to do the dare and pray that we make it. And we have been together for 4 years and have a 2 year old son.

Update- I am still reading the book and I am up to day 9 on the dares. This book has opened my eyes and I have learned so much. For the first time in weeks my husband invited my to lunch to talk. We talked for several hours and I found out that he thinks I am unhappy. I am not unhappy just kind of in a rut. I am getting a part time job and I am getting more involved in our church. I have also dealt with depression and I saw my Dr two weeks ago and I have been on medication since then. I can tell a difference and in a good way. Thank you again for the kind thoughts, prayers and encouragement!
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by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 10:09 AM
Replies (21-30):
the.real.me
by Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 11:32 AM
2 moms liked this

its not uncommon at first to be met with "wtf are you doing?",  "this is stupid", "do what you want but I still want out"....

in the scope of things its a small amount of time to put in the effort, regardless of what you get back. If it doesnt work, at least you know you honestly, whole heartedly tried.... you can move forward with no regrets.

Quoting Tara2012:

its good that you are following it but is he...I just think that if you give all and he gives none then in the long run you wont be happy because you will be giving all to him and he doesnt give back. Good luck. I wish you the best. Just remember to make sure you are also happy, I think some women forget that in order to make their spouses happy.

Quoting haysyd:

Thank you. Today is day 2 kindness. I brought him a cup of coffee while he was getting ready for work. And only spoke nicely to him.

 


the.real.me
by Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 11:34 AM

what a great quote!

Quoting Sabrina411:

Good luck I just ordered the book. I loved the movie and something that stuck out to me was this quite " it is difficult to demonstrate love when u feel little to no motivation. But love in its truest sense is not based on feelings. Rather love determines to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward. You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness. "
Good luck momma. You will be in my prayers <3


OhSara87
by Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 11:41 AM
I know that DF and i aren't married yet but we did fireproof with our small group of young couples within our church. It made the both of us aware that when it came to vows we are on different pages.

I've been married once already to an ass who decided our vows were to vague and didn't mean anything at all.
Hope this works out for you two.
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haysyd
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 12:07 PM
2 moms liked this
Yes I have tried talking to him and I get nothing from him. All he says is I don't know.

Quoting Hottmomma607:

No I haven't? Have you tried good old fashion communication?
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Ducky5991
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 12:44 PM
3 moms liked this

My husband did it on me & it worked for us :) good luck & hope all goes well! by the way i admire the fact your trying to save your marriage! Alot of people now a days wouldnt even try!

haysyd
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 12:59 PM
Thank you!

Quoting Ducky5991:

My husband did it on me & it worked for us :) good luck & hope all goes well! by the way i admire the fact your trying to save your marriage! Alot of people now a days wouldnt even try!

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the.real.me
by Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 5:04 PM
How did day 3 and 4 go?


Quoting haysyd:

Thank you. Today is day 2 kindness. I brought him a cup of coffee while he was getting ready for work. And only spoke nicely to him.

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haysyd
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 10:56 PM
i did them but i haven't heard from him in 24 hours and his absence is affecting the kids.
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MagicTemptation
by Christina on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:06 PM
3 moms liked this

I am sorry hun. Another book you may want to try reading is The 5 Love Languages. It has helped me not only with my S/O but with our children, friends, and family members. If you don't know what it is about, it explains that people percieve love differently. What may be a loving kind gesture to you, so you do for someone else, may not be their "love language". Me bringing my guy a cup of coffee might not say love to him, although I feel love  when he brings me coffee. For him, he rathers words. Me telling him how much I appreciate him doing even the smallest things etc...

Quoting haysyd:

i did them but i haven't heard from him in 24 hours and his absence is affecting the kids.


MommaBear1130
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:08 PM
I really want to try this. I have heard nothing but good things about this book. (: And the movie.
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