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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage
My DF and I have been together almost 3 years, we have 13 month old twins. However, in that time, I've come to realize that his battle with his inner demons,is something he has no control over, nor will he even admit to. I really hate myself for giving up, but I can only reassure and try to support him for so long, only to be pushed aside. He drinks, that's his biggest problem. He had been sober almost 4 months, but he's relapsing. It's killing me to watch the downward spiral he is on. Even more so because he won't even acknowledge my efforts to help and my concern and worry.
I want to believe that if he leaves (which he has done before) that given time, he will begin to understand what we have/had. But I think he will let the alcohol take over. I have to find it in myself to be okay with that. I'm not sure how to do that.... I love him more than he could ever know, and it's killing me to watch him do this to himself and to our family.
I know,this is rambling, and if you made it all the way to this point, thank you!
I think I'm going to try to find the courage to write him a letter, then I'm going to let things go. Whatever happens, I'm going to find a way to be okay with it. I am strong, and I will make it through this. :'(
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 1:31 AM
Replies (41-44):
scoleman828
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 1:28 AM
I'm gonna call the therapist that was in charge of the substance abuse program he just finished and see what my options are but I think that unless he wants the help, they can't force it.

Quoting ShannaBee:

This.




Quoting katamike:

 Is there an alcohol abuse center you can send him to? I don't know your situation, but if it were me, that is what i would do. So sorry your going through this right now.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MunchiesMom324
by Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 2:44 AM

I'm sorry. You're doing the right thing by not enabling him anymore.  No matter how much you love him, you have to look out for your children too.  Also, for you - please find an AlAnon group, it helps so much to have support and realizing the line between "love" and "enabling"

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Oct. 5, 2012 at 8:28 AM

 I'm so sorry : (

Quoting scoleman828:

That's the point I'm at. I came home to him drunk again tonight. I'm done. That in my opinion is the biggest slap
in the face.

Quoting la_bella_vita:

 I would do everything in my power to help my husband but you can only offer so much help before you leave. My husband knew before marrying me I wouldn't stick around for an addiction if he refused help. I wish you the best of luck.

 

MIMI2700
by Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:55 AM

Until he admits he has a problem anything you can say or do is moot.  That will be a life long battle for him once he admits there is a problem.  Most have to crash and burn before the realization sinks in that there is a problem.  There is not a short time solution to the problem it is LIFELONG.  Are you ready to commit yourself and your children to this life?  That is the question you have to ask yourself.

Good luck and my prayers.

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