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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage
My DF and I have been together almost 3 years, we have 13 month old twins. However, in that time, I've come to realize that his battle with his inner demons,is something he has no control over, nor will he even admit to. I really hate myself for giving up, but I can only reassure and try to support him for so long, only to be pushed aside. He drinks, that's his biggest problem. He had been sober almost 4 months, but he's relapsing. It's killing me to watch the downward spiral he is on. Even more so because he won't even acknowledge my efforts to help and my concern and worry.
I want to believe that if he leaves (which he has done before) that given time, he will begin to understand what we have/had. But I think he will let the alcohol take over. I have to find it in myself to be okay with that. I'm not sure how to do that.... I love him more than he could ever know, and it's killing me to watch him do this to himself and to our family.
I know,this is rambling, and if you made it all the way to this point, thank you!
I think I'm going to try to find the courage to write him a letter, then I'm going to let things go. Whatever happens, I'm going to find a way to be okay with it. I am strong, and I will make it through this. :'(
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by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 1:31 AM
Replies (31-40):
MrsMetalMama
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:21 AM
I wish you the best of luck. i haven't had this problem. and i bet it ia rough on you and the babies. Maybe get him some help and just keep supporting if your love ia that strong. Wish you the best :)
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timswife_momof2
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:22 AM

you cant help someone unless they want help. you cant force help on someone who doesnt want it.

suzy1125
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:31 AM
Oh I'm so sorry, there is a group in here i think its called married to an alcoholic husband. You should join. I'm sure the ladies could have some words of encouragement for you. Good luck!
furbabymum
by Gold Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:40 AM

Yeah he needs help. If he won't get help he's not going to be good for your family. My DH is bipolar. For 5 years I put up with it. Then I had enough. He now sees 4 different therapists and takes medication every day. He's great now. I'd divorce him in a heart beat if he stop. I'm not going back to that place we were.

Metteba
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:46 AM
Mama, you go out there and get your own. You don't need that for you and your kidz. You deserve to be happy and there is someone out there for you...go and find him or better yet take some time for yourself and get see whats out there. Let him wallow in his own despair...
vickijene
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:51 AM

 We have(my Dh & myself)been through something like what you are going through,We both had our own addictions.When we got together it was one big party.Then we pretty much hit rock bottom.We both got help,and its been 7yrs,we got involved in groups.He has to want to stop,right know it sounds like he has no respect for you ,and your children we pick up on that big time,its like you have 3 kids.He is seeing how far he can get, just like your twins probably.You do not want to go through the rest of your life like this!The worry,yelling,leaving,cheating(don't no that) any way it will only get worse.Lots of Hugs FI, if you need to talk.

jeniemarie
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 2:12 PM
i think next time he goes on a binge see about changing the locks, and call the cops when he gets back drunk. he needs an eye opener. its a horrible situation but you have to put your children above him. i put up with it for years before a realized that DH was the real reason SS and i were in counseling. he had horrible anger and then the whole im sry phase. but it wasnt till we got in a pysical fight that i realized that the kids could be next.
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ShannaBee
by Platinum Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 5:23 PM
1 mom liked this
This.


Quoting katamike:

 Is there an alcohol abuse center you can send him to? I don't know your situation, but if it were me, that is what i would do. So sorry your going through this right now.


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la_bella_vita
by Bella on Oct. 5, 2012 at 12:00 AM

 I would do everything in my power to help my husband but you can only offer so much help before you leave. My husband knew before marrying me I wouldn't stick around for an addiction if he refused help. I wish you the best of luck.

scoleman828
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 1:26 AM
That's the point I'm at. I came home to him drunk again tonight. I'm done. That in my opinion is the biggest slap
in the face.

Quoting la_bella_vita:

 I would do everything in my power to help my husband but you can only offer so much help before you leave. My husband knew before marrying me I wouldn't stick around for an addiction if he refused help. I wish you the best of luck.

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