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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

When is enough enough?

Posted by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 5:40 PM
  • 3 Replies

I've been married over a yr now and when first married we lived with inlaws for about 5 months. My mil is awesome, no complaints there, but my fil I just am at the point of not being able to stand. We paid half the bills there (including half of his car payment, insurance, and a loan he took out). He was always sleeping, gone, or we were working. We move out he's mad cause he can't blow money again (he lives of SSI) so he literally took our tax refund check that showed up a week after we moved and told us he was going to flush it down the toilet if we didn't give him half! Anyway, DH finally started seeing how his dad was. Well I got pregnant in March and we moved to the city in August for better jobs. Dh got a good job making good money. I promise you since the day we have moved I get 10+ calls on my cell threatening how I better give FIL such and such amount of money cause he knows we have it and he has such and such bill to pay. He would write stupid stuff on DH's facebook so I made it where no one can write on his wall and now he is constantly messaging him how he's worthless and a liar and just stupid stuff. In FIL's eyes everyone should help him out no matter what. I don't mind helping like with MIL's meds (which we have done several times) but when FIL blows the money cause I've seen him doing it then no. They lived just fine before we moved in with them! He doesn't get it through his head we have bills, gas/electric, car, insurance, child support, lawyer fee's (again!), and have 2 kids and a baby due next month, plus I'm not working cause I'm on bed rest. I've kept my mouth shut but I'm at my limit and I don't think my pregnancy hormones are helping anymore. It's got to the point I don't even want to go over there when in town because I know WW3 will be started and DH only calls when he knows FIL will be asleep and he just ignores FIL's calls/messages. I feel bad though because I am having their 1st grandson (they have 7 granddaughters) and I don't want to take that away. But when is enough enough? How much would you take before you just don't go around and keep the kids out of the situation?

by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 5:40 PM
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by Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 7:17 PM

I feel you you and your DH.  I cannot imagine anyone being that selfish and self absorbed.  Can you MIL come for a visit without FIL or can you meet her somewhere?  How does he act around her? 

Good luck with the baby and the family. 

by Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:16 PM

MIL doesn't drive but I'm sure we can meet her at the SIL's house or something. I don't want to 'punish' her for him being a butt. He acts the same around her she ignores it though, they've been married like 30 years and from  what I've been around (known them since I was 8) and stories from her he's always been like this. He will make his stupid little comments under his breath when she is around. My husband says he will support any decision I make when it comes to this situation I just see him trying to fight with me when I tell him I'm serious about not going around his dad.

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by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 9:40 PM

oh girl i know , my mil is the same way she feels entitled to dh's money an thinks she can ask for some anytime

dh finally put his foot down an said enough we dont have the $ to support you no matter how small it is

drives me nuts , when you call her on her shit she gives you the poor me sob story 

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