Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Would this bother you or am i overreacting?

Posted by   + Show Post

Bf of 2 years almost always comes to bed and cuddles immediately. He has had cold so didn't want to. For the past week even since he felt better he won't cuddle. Will lay with his.back to me and won't touch. Granted we had awesome sex Sunday night but I'm wondering what I did wrong for him not touch me? I said to him this morning "what you don't like laying near me in bed anymore?" He says "what! You have an issue with that because I want to lay this way! you're ridiculous!" What do I do?

by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 7:55 AM
Replies (221-230):
gucci106
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:21 PM

Your lucky he cuddles w/ you at all, mine never did once, in 2 yrs, he lays at the very far end of the bed, and besides, MEN are such babies when they donn't feel well, i wouldn't take it personally.

coffeelover66
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:43 PM

you are just use to having things being consistent and they aren't. The only person that knows what is going on is him so do what i do when things are "not" the the same in our relationship I confront him....I take everything little thing personal too I would be thinking the same thing what the heck is going on.....GL and im sure its nothing

imultracool
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 3:39 PM
You aren't going to have sex with him because he wont cuddle with you? Pretty childish.

Quoting Ladybug1260:

I did lay with him when he had his cold.  I didnt deny that.  If he chooses to lay the way he is now then that would create a problem because no cuddling in bed.....no intimacy or sex for him and trust me I can hold a grudge for a loooooong time. 


Quoting JuliFox:

You wouldn't snuggle with him while he had his cold; maybe he discovered that he's more comfortable lying the way he does now. Don't take every little thing so personally.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mrs.Sells
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:14 PM

So if he discovered that he is more comfortable sleeping in a certain position which is not cuddling with you, you would punish him for not doing what you want for your own comfort? You sound really mature.

Quoting Ladybug1260:

I did lay with him when he had his cold.  I didnt deny that.  If he chooses to lay the way he is now then that would create a problem because no cuddling in bed.....no intimacy or sex for him and trust me I can hold a grudge for a loooooong time. 

Quoting JuliFox:

You wouldn't snuggle with him while he had his cold; maybe he discovered that he's more comfortable lying the way he does now. Don't take every little thing so personally.



Mrs.Sells
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:33 PM
1 mom liked this

Having sex is intimacy. If I were him I wouldn't want to cuddle with you since you're you seem bat shit carzy

Quoting Ladybug1260:

There you finally answered the question.  Im playing games.  NO...that would be him not wanting intimacy.  Friendship you say is left?  Im not a friend with benefit, sorry.  No slut here.  Respect, trust etc....YIPPEE.....that makes a relationship huh?  That would be what you call friends if that is all you have. 

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

Friendship? Respect? Trust? Financial ties? Communication?

Why do you keep asking me this? Like I said if you have no intimacy and no trust then fucking leave. It's stupid and immature to play games and withold sex and whatever you are planning on doing. If you aren't happy move on, you aren't married. This doesn't have to be the rest of your life.


Quoting Ladybug1260:

When intimacy is gone in a relationship.....what is left?  General question for you


Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

I never said "never" in terms of him cheating. I said I'd never accuse him without hard set proof.



And why do you keep asking ME what is left? My answer is nothing, I told you to bail if you feel you've got nothing left.



We should probably stop going back and forth on this because I suppose it's pointless. I'm a 35 year old woman with a stable 11 year marriage. You are, (I'm assuming), an early twenty something gal with a 2 year boyfriend. We are in totally different worlds here.




Quoting Ladybug1260:

When you take the intimacy out what is left?  If you arent intimate then you are friends.  I didnt ask him right away, I gave him a week.  And advice for you.....Never say Never......cause you just never know who "HE" is out screwing. 



Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

I never assume something is wrong or "up" because of a small change in behavior. I never think my husband is cheating on me, and I would never accuse him of it unless hard set proof was plopped in my lap. If we had a missing condom, I wouldn't think anything of it, because I don't count the condoms in the first place to know if one is missing. In fact, I'm not even sure we have any?





I've been married for 11 years in December. I'm completely secure in myself and in my marriage. It's not perfect, it's got issues too, but security is definitely not one of them. I am never, ever, ever left with the question of "what's left?". If my husband suddenly decided to cuddle or not cuddle, it wouldn't qualify as a deal breaker for me. And it definitely wouldn't warrant a ranting post on Cafemom.






Quoting Ladybug1260:

Can I ask YOU something about what you wrote?  What do you mean....you never question your relationship?




Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

No, no it wouldn't. But I'm not insecure in the least. I don't ever question my relationship, and I'm not afraid my husband is cheating or would cheat. It just sounds like you are super insecure and needy. 

Quoting Ladybug1260:

So you mean to tell me that if your bf/husband cuddled EVERY night ALL night and all of a sudden for at least a week he wants to only rub bare asses together (not being funny or insulting) that that wouldnt raise a red flag to you? 




Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

I read your other posts. You did accuse him of cheating because of a missing condom, correct? And he said no and to leave him alone about it, correct? And you confronted a girl, a friend of both of yours, and pissed her off and now she doesn't want to talk to either of you anymore, correct? 

THAT is the batshit crazy I am talking about, coupled with this. It's not just one question, it's a pattern. And I don't see not wanting to cuddle at night as being treated like shit and being walked over, maybe he just decided he likes sleeping on the other side of the bed. Give the guy a break, sheesh. 

Quoting Ladybug1260:

Hmmmm  where did I accuse him of anything?  Please show me where?  Because I asked him a simple frigging question that is pushing him away?  Shall we all just be treated like shit and allow men to walk all over us?  Is that how YOUR relationship works?




Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

Are you the one who swears he's cheating because of the missing condom? And you confronted some chick and now she doesn't want to talk to you? 

You are probably pushing him away with your batshit crazy accusations. 










amandalea0526
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 6:25 PM
My husband and I used to cuddle all night when we were dating. We had a full sized bed. Then we got a king size bed, cuddled for 2 nights, then he started sleeping on the opposite side of the bed. I didnt say anything, I didnt question him. I didnt bug out. I started sleeping that way too "rubbing asses". Its more comfortable, I tried it and loved it. I realized why he was. It is more comfortable. I noticed you said you dont trust any man. Thats messed up. I also noticed that you stayed with him after he cheated on you. I feel that if you do that, then you have no right to flip out or be paranoid. You should have taken care of that situation long before all of this. if you cant trust him, why should he trust you? If you dont put your all into the relationship, including trusting him, then its your fault. How can you expect him to give you his all if you wont do the same in return? If you act this paranoid and accusatory from the beginning, I would have cheated on you too if you kept accusing me of doing it, well I should do the thing you bitch about me doing so you have a reason to yell next time.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mariewyatt
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 7:50 PM

Guess what, you asked if you were overreacting and they said you were so deal with it. If you just wanted people to parrot back what you already thought, you should have went somewhere else.

Quoting Ladybug1260:

So you are telling me that a guy that loves or loved to cuddle every night ALL night long who suddenly wont even touch me isnt an issue going on?  I think you are wrong there. 

Quoting 98765:

Before i was married and i would spend the night w a BF i would get mad if they had their back turned to me at any point of the night.

That was dumb. Who cares? He is in your bed and you should be happy about that. Lol

My husband cuddles w me almost everynight--for all of 5 mubs before turning over and going to sleep.

Get over it.



thanush
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 9:40 PM
I would feel upset too. My husband always cuddle and the few days we didn't was the ones that we were upset with each other over something.
Sometimes I like to turn the other way and sleep. He does too. If my husband started to sleep like that all of a sudden I would be sad too.. Confused and sad.. For me, Cuddling is a way of feeling loved.
MrsMae
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:08 PM
If snuggling is something you always did and now he won't touch you I would point blank ask him what is wrong! And would not accept "nothing" as the answer!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jaylynn621
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:59 AM
1 mom liked this

Your crazy, plain and simple

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN