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What would you do in this situation? I kinda feel really bad now :(

Posted by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:51 AM
  • 10 Replies

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years, we have a son together. I'm 32, he's 41 and he's never been married. I'm divorced with 2 kids from my previous marraige. We live together and he supports me and my kids. He just bought me a brand new van and he always talks about moving us into a bigger house. When we first got serious he talked about marrying me and he even told other people he was going to marry me. Fast forward to last night, we went out with friends and she mentioned something about when are you two getting married. He just kind of looked at her. I said, I would like to but not sure about him. He says "Don't get me wrong, I love her to death, I just don't think it's necessary" Ummmmm ok. So apparenty he doesn't want to marry me anymore. I thought we would someday but now he says this and I feel really bad. We were in a bar so we didn't get to discuss further, and I know if I bring it up he won't talk, he will close down like always. So what would you do? I mean we already live like we are married, I don't see the big deal. Should I plan to leave him or stick around? Everything else is fine, we have a great relationship, we have fun, we are always laughing, we really enjoy each others company, but now I am questioning it all. Like I want to know what the reasoning is, he wouldn't marry me because he might want an easy way out someday if he meets someone new or something?? i am confused.  I am not sure what to do now, I just want to cry.

by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:51 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LveMy2K1dS
by Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:52 AM

BUMP!

touchingstars
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:52 AM
Marriage is just a paper to.some
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LveMy2K1dS
by Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:55 AM

BUMP!

meganisamom
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:57 AM
1 mom liked this
Why does he support you? You should be supporting yourself. If he leaves, what's going to happen to you an your kids?
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LveMy2K1dS
by Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:58 AM

I work, but I just save my money or spend it on the kids, he pays all the bills

Quoting meganisamom:

Why does he support you? You should be supporting yourself. If he leaves, what's going to happen to you an your kids?


huntersmama711
by Bronze Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:00 AM
1 mom liked this
You need to decide if marriage is a deal breaker for you. Would you rather be in a happy, committed relationship full of love without that piece of paper or raise 3 kids alone hoping to find someone to love and marry someday? If you've been happy all this time don't let this ruin your relationship. Remember, he could just as easily find Simeon new with that piece of paper. He said he loves you so try not to worry. Trust in his love
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iheartmycinco
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:02 AM
You need to sit down and really decide whether marriage (or lack of it) is a deal breaker. Me and my BF both know marriage isn't in the cards any time soon. But we live like a married couple. We have both been married before. It's just not for us right now, or any time soon. Hut not because we want an easy way out. It would still be difficult because we are a family even though he isn't my kids bio dad. He is the only dad they have. It's really up to you. If you had expectations due to what he said and he broke that you need to ask him why and he needs to answer.
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meganisamom
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:04 AM
If he spoke of marrying you prior and now changes his mind, I'd be pissed too. I'd wonder what changed his mind. You need to talk to him. Decide of this is what you want. When I was dating my now husband, we both laid the cards out and said what we both wanted. Of he changed his mind half way through. I'd be pissed. Good luck momma.

Quoting LveMy2K1dS:

I work, but I just save my money or spend it on the kids, he pays all the bills

Quoting meganisamom:

Why does he support you? You should be supporting yourself. If he leaves, what's going to happen to you an your kids?




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AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:09 AM
2 moms liked this

The only way you're going to know for sure is if you sit down with him and talk to him.  Otherwise you're going to over-think everything and put yourself into a tizzy.

Talk to him.  Find out what's going on in his head.  (hugs)

LveMy2K1dS
by Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 11:33 AM
Thanks everyone
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