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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage
Ladies, I really enjoy CM (most of the time) I can identify a lot of times, I'm divorced, remarried. I have exhusband issues, ex wife issues and a big blended family. I am no where near perfect. And I never pretend I am. But, day after day I read about women who post stories about men who cheat, abuse, humiliate and are all around shitty husbands/boyfriends/fathers. These girls I feel awful for. But what I'd like to know is..... Why do most of these girls have no self respect? Why do women think its ok to get involved with men who have numerous children with numerous women? DO they REALLY THINK THEY ARE GIING TO CHANGE? And why do they girls continue to have babies when no one is working? Or they have no place to live? Stop having children you can't afford. Stop being with men that treat you like shit. Try getting married to a decent man who loves you BEFORE you have 5 kids. Finish school, stand on your own feet and HAVE SOME FREAKIN SELF RESPECT. Or we will have daughters and sons who think it is okay to live like this.
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by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:53 AM
Replies (11-20):
MMerrill
by Melissa on Oct. 6, 2012 at 6:01 PM

Agreed!!!!

In the end, if you can't even have respect for yourself, NO ONE else will have respect for you either.

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Hectictracy
by Bronze Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 6:11 PM
I get what you're saying. A girl I know was with some guy that had 4 kids with 4 different women, didn't take care of any of those kids. She got pregnant by the guy. She kept saying he would NEVER do that to her. Guess what! She had 2 kids with the guy, he's not around at all. I don't feel sorry for her. She knew what he was like. Now she's living with her mom, no job, no car, no dad for the kids.
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smurfbitebug
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 6:14 PM
1 mom liked this
Sadly, more and more girls just think the most important thing is to be with someone, anyone, rather than being alone.
They don't even think about how the man treats them being more important, or their kids being more important. They just can't be alone.

And it isn't like they are even doing of on purpose. It is more stupidity, and being naive. They haven't once stopped to think, "I don't need an SO to be happy." And they never will be happy without one. As soon as they are single they will be out looking again.
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meganisamom
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 6:15 PM
Exactly!!!


Quoting smurfbitebug:

Sadly, more and more girls just think the most important thing is to be with someone, anyone, rather than being alone.

They don't even think about how the man treats them being more important, or their kids being more important. They just can't be alone.



And it isn't like they are even doing of on purpose. It is more stupidity, and being naive. They haven't once stopped to think, "I don't need an SO to be happy." And they never will be happy without one. As soon as they are single they will be out looking again.

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meganisamom
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 6:18 PM
1 mom liked this
Ok. Awesome. So why the ummmm? You're obviously not what this post was referring to.


Quoting braezmommy89:

Ummmm...



My df (dh in 5 days) has 5 other children, 4 from his ex wife, 1 of which isnt biologically his but he has raised him and continues to, and finally my two..



He bustes his ass EVERYDAY to care for ALL of his children and make sure we all had what we needed & wanted.. He has & contiues to provide and protect for us.



He had a brain hemmorage(sp) Oct 16th 2011 & since then has had 4 strokes. His Dr told him last Tuesday, he cant return to work (he is a BPO) for Multiple reasons.. Seizures, Strokes, and headaches as a result from the brain bleed..

Even tho god has thrown this at us, he STILL has provided and protected us, all of his children have what they need and then some!!



I have self respect, and im proud of my soo to be hubby!! He could of said "eff it" to his son whn he divorced his ex because hes not technically his but he didnt, he could have gave up when he had his brain hemmorage last Oct but he didnt..

He loves me & all of our kids & continues to do his very best for all of us..

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meganisamom
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 6:19 PM
They never learn. And then they cry "why"?


Quoting Hectictracy:

I get what you're saying. A girl I know was with some guy that had 4 kids with 4 different women, didn't take care of any of those kids. She got pregnant by the guy. She kept saying he would NEVER do that to her. Guess what! She had 2 kids with the guy, he's not around at all. I don't feel sorry for her. She knew what he was like. Now she's living with her mom, no job, no car, no dad for the kids.

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RoseBlossom
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 6:20 PM
1 mom liked this

i was a stupid little girl who was brainwashed into becoming a submissive wife in a way that was not okay. i loved the guy, and he showed his true side when we got married. he suddenly started to change and became very machismo mexican style even tho he was born in the us. he wiped his ass with toilet paper and threw it in the trashcan still, as if he was living in mexico! sorry, tmi, but this is what i had to deal with, with regard to his mentality. as for the submissive part, i was a very, very strong female from family of strong females, with ambitions and dreams. he shattered all of those when he started to brainwash me. at first it was the food i made wasnt good enough, so i tried to please him by making food he liked, beans and mexican rice, and trying to get recipes from his family. then it became that i wasnt even allowed to make food that is microwaveable, or use stuff from cans, like refied beans in a can. i had to make a pot of beans everyday on the stove, just like his sisters did. oatmeal and cereal were not allowed to be served to the kids because it wasnt real food. i had to make his lunch everyday for him, even when i was sick towards the end of my high risk pregnancy. i think it escalated so fast because i was only surrounded by his family who were pushing his ideas on me even more. before my grandma and my dad left to live in nc, they had gotten in a verbal fight with him with the way he was treating me, but he just laughed and said that he was right ( i wasnt there and didnt find out oabout this fight till later. ) he even told my gma at the time that he was going to break me (as in training). i laughed at my grandma at the time becuase i thought that he was kidding.

it was all very stupid and slowly but surely i started to 'wake' up when i went back to work at a part time job. i realized that i had changed into a shell of what i used to and this led me to cheat on him to try to get out. but i finally left him, even though he wanted us to stay together and i became my old self again. in the case of my daughters, i try to teach them how a man is supposed to treat them, and my df shows them this when he treats me the way he does. for my sons, i tell them how to treat a woman too, and always show them manners. 

meganisamom
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 6:25 PM
I'm do sorry that happened to you. But you sound so strong. You should be so proud of yourself. And your girls should know what a strong mom they have. And PS. I once lived in So Cal, I know all about the Mexican toilet paper mentality. Lol.


Quoting RoseBlossom:

i was a stupid little girl who was brainwashed into becoming a submissive wife in a way that was not okay. i loved the guy, and he showed his true side when we got married. he suddenly started to change and became very machismo mexican style even tho he was born in the us. he wiped his ass with toilet paper and threw it in the trashcan still, as if he was living in mexico! sorry, tmi, but this is what i had to deal with, with regard to his mentality. as for the submissive part, i was a very, very strong female from family of strong females, with ambitions and dreams. he shattered all of those when he started to brainwash me. at first it was the food i made wasnt good enough, so i tried to please him by making food he liked, beans and mexican rice, and trying to get recipes from his family. then it became that i wasnt even allowed to make food that is microwaveable, or use stuff from cans, like refied beans in a can. i had to make a pot of beans everyday on the stove, just like his sisters did. oatmeal and cereal were not allowed to be served to the kids because it wasnt real food. i had to make his lunch everyday for him, even when i was sick towards the end of my high risk pregnancy. i think it escalated so fast because i was only surrounded by his family who were pushing his ideas on me even more. before my grandma and my dad left to live in nc, they had gotten in a verbal fight with him with the way he was treating me, but he just laughed and said that he was right ( i wasnt there and didnt find out oabout this fight till later. ) he even told my gma at the time that he was going to break me (as in training). i laughed at my grandma at the time becuase i thought that he was kidding.

it was all very stupid and slowly but surely i started to 'wake' up when i went back to work at a part time job. i realized that i had changed into a shell of what i used to and this led me to cheat on him to try to get out. but i finally left him, even though he wanted us to stay together and i became my old self again. in the case of my daughters, i try to teach them how a man is supposed to treat them, and my df shows them this when he treats me the way he does. for my sons, i tell them how to treat a woman too, and always show them manners. 


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RoseBlossom
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 6:29 PM

thank you! i def am back to my ambitions and dreams even though i took a detour! im going to school and am applying for the BSN program this month. as for the toilet paper thing, omg!! i never knew about it until i married the guy and it was soo gross lol. i teach my kids to put the toilet paper in the toilet, and teach them how much to use. they say their dad and gma(their dads mom) and his family still throw it in the trash. i make sure to say, well YOU will be throwing it in the toilet! hahah

Quoting meganisamom:

I'm do sorry that happened to you. But you sound so strong. You should be so proud of yourself. And your girls should know what a strong mom they have. And PS. I once lived in So Cal, I know all about the Mexican toilet paper mentality. Lol.


Quoting RoseBlossom:

i was a stupid little girl who was brainwashed into becoming a submissive wife in a way that was not okay. i loved the guy, and he showed his true side when we got married. he suddenly started to change and became very machismo mexican style even tho he was born in the us. he wiped his ass with toilet paper and threw it in the trashcan still, as if he was living in mexico! sorry, tmi, but this is what i had to deal with, with regard to his mentality. as for the submissive part, i was a very, very strong female from family of strong females, with ambitions and dreams. he shattered all of those when he started to brainwash me. at first it was the food i made wasnt good enough, so i tried to please him by making food he liked, beans and mexican rice, and trying to get recipes from his family. then it became that i wasnt even allowed to make food that is microwaveable, or use stuff from cans, like refied beans in a can. i had to make a pot of beans everyday on the stove, just like his sisters did. oatmeal and cereal were not allowed to be served to the kids because it wasnt real food. i had to make his lunch everyday for him, even when i was sick towards the end of my high risk pregnancy. i think it escalated so fast because i was only surrounded by his family who were pushing his ideas on me even more. before my grandma and my dad left to live in nc, they had gotten in a verbal fight with him with the way he was treating me, but he just laughed and said that he was right ( i wasnt there and didnt find out oabout this fight till later. ) he even told my gma at the time that he was going to break me (as in training). i laughed at my grandma at the time becuase i thought that he was kidding.

it was all very stupid and slowly but surely i started to 'wake' up when i went back to work at a part time job. i realized that i had changed into a shell of what i used to and this led me to cheat on him to try to get out. but i finally left him, even though he wanted us to stay together and i became my old self again. in the case of my daughters, i try to teach them how a man is supposed to treat them, and my df shows them this when he treats me the way he does. for my sons, i tell them how to treat a woman too, and always show them manners. 



braezmommy89
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 6:30 PM
I guess the way I read it was wrong.

I took it as you think men who have numerous children with numerous women are scum, and that you should marry before having children..


Quoting meganisamom:

Ok. Awesome. So why the ummmm? You're obviously not what this post was referring to.




Quoting braezmommy89:

Ummmm...





My df (dh in 5 days) has 5 other children, 4 from his ex wife, 1 of which isnt biologically his but he has raised him and continues to, and finally my two..





He bustes his ass EVERYDAY to care for ALL of his children and make sure we all had what we needed & wanted.. He has & contiues to provide and protect for us.





He had a brain hemmorage(sp) Oct 16th 2011 & since then has had 4 strokes. His Dr told him last Tuesday, he cant return to work (he is a BPO) for Multiple reasons.. Seizures, Strokes, and headaches as a result from the brain bleed..


Even tho god has thrown this at us, he STILL has provided and protected us, all of his children have what they need and then some!!





I have self respect, and im proud of my soo to be hubby!! He could of said "eff it" to his son whn he divorced his ex because hes not technically his but he didnt, he could have gave up when he had his brain hemmorage last Oct but he didnt..


He loves me & all of our kids & continues to do his very best for all of us..


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