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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage
Ladies, I really enjoy CM (most of the time) I can identify a lot of times, I'm divorced, remarried. I have exhusband issues, ex wife issues and a big blended family. I am no where near perfect. And I never pretend I am. But, day after day I read about women who post stories about men who cheat, abuse, humiliate and are all around shitty husbands/boyfriends/fathers. These girls I feel awful for. But what I'd like to know is..... Why do most of these girls have no self respect? Why do women think its ok to get involved with men who have numerous children with numerous women? DO they REALLY THINK THEY ARE GIING TO CHANGE? And why do they girls continue to have babies when no one is working? Or they have no place to live? Stop having children you can't afford. Stop being with men that treat you like shit. Try getting married to a decent man who loves you BEFORE you have 5 kids. Finish school, stand on your own feet and HAVE SOME FREAKIN SELF RESPECT. Or we will have daughters and sons who think it is okay to live like this.
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by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:53 AM
Replies (41-50):
ShannaBee
by Platinum Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 7:24 PM
1 mom liked this

I think it's the way girls are raised these days and how men expect girls to be these day. I'm not like that, I was raised with self-respet and morals,but many people these days are not.

3xangel
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 7:41 PM
1 mom liked this
100% agree with you. I believe a lot of them lack personal responsibility.
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merryvoice
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:08 PM
I've seen it! And sadly, I can see that happening!

Quoting AnGLInterrupted:

I agree with you.  Unfortunatly it's not going to change.  Have you seen the movie "Idiocracy"?  I can totally see the world ending up like that.  :\

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merryvoice
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:10 PM
That is one good man. Keep him! And congrats!

Quoting braezmommy89:

Ummmm...



My df (dh in 5 days) has 5 other children, 4 from his ex wife, 1 of which isnt biologically his but he has raised him and continues to, and finally my two..



He bustes his ass EVERYDAY to care for ALL of his children and make sure we all had what we needed & wanted.. He has & contiues to provide and protect for us.



He had a brain hemmorage(sp) Oct 16th 2011 & since then has had 4 strokes. His Dr told him last Tuesday, he cant return to work (he is a BPO) for Multiple reasons.. Seizures, Strokes, and headaches as a result from the brain bleed..

Even tho god has thrown this at us, he STILL has provided and protected us, all of his children have what they need and then some!!



I have self respect, and im proud of my soo to be hubby!! He could of said "eff it" to his son whn he divorced his ex because hes not technically his but he didnt, he could have gave up when he had his brain hemmorage last Oct but he didnt..

He loves me & all of our kids & continues to do his very best for all of us..
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merryvoice
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:11 PM
1 mom liked this
I think that's why a lot of women stay...because they think they can fix them. But I'm so glad you left and I hope you have someone who treats you well.

Quoting raegan1221:

 I have been there myself.  I married my ex husband when I was 20 years old....and we started dating at 18...he was abusive one month in both physically and emotionally. He strangled me for the first time when I was 19 right before we got engaged. I still married him and it only escalated. He called me every name in the book, smothered my face in dirt, hit me while I was pregnant with our son.  The only reason I left was because of my son when he was 3 months old.  He never hit my stomach....and he never hurt me in front of our son except one time. That is when I left.


 


Now to answer your question: I don't know.  I wish I could understand that.  I went to three different counselors when we split up...and I couldn't understand what I was thinking.  Even at the time, it was like my head was in a bubble. At the beginning of the relationship, I thought I could save him. Yes, I am one of those...I thought I could save him. He had a very bad childhood.  Then when I knew I couldn't it was too late because he had beat me down emotionally so bad that I didn't care about myself.  I quit fighting back.  I quit caring about anything except our son.  So when he did that in front of him, it kind of woke me up.  6 years later, I have coming very far and can stand like you and ask that question "why?" because it doesn't make sense.

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merryvoice
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:14 PM
I can't speak for anyone else, but when I was younger, I didn't have any self-respect, yet I never let a man hit me. Some had tried, but I left. I have known many abused women and not all of them lacked self-respect. They stayed because they were committed, they stayed because they thought they could help, they stayed because they loved them. Everyone has their own reasons.

Self-respect isn't always easy to come by. My husband had a hell of a time helping me gain some, but I was one od the few fortunate women who got her Prince after all her toads.
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Amandatoo
by Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:22 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting braezmommy89:

Ummmm...

My df (dh in 5 days) has 5 other children, 4 from his ex wife, 1 of which isnt biologically his but he has raised him and continues to, and finally my two..

He bustes his ass EVERYDAY to care for ALL of his children and make sure we all had what we needed & wanted.. He has & contiues to provide and protect for us.

He had a brain hemmorage(sp) Oct 16th 2011 & since then has had 4 strokes. His Dr told him last Tuesday, he cant return to work (he is a BPO) for Multiple reasons.. Seizures, Strokes, and headaches as a result from the brain bleed..
Even tho god has thrown this at us, he STILL has provided and protected us, all of his children have what they need and then some!!

I have self respect, and im proud of my soo to be hubby!! He could of said "eff it" to his son whn he divorced his ex because hes not technically his but he didnt, he could have gave up when he had his brain hemmorage last Oct but he didnt..
He loves me & all of our kids & continues to do his very best for all of us..



Your soon to be DH sounds like a amazing Man, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be talking about him. All of his Kids are with his ex, not all different women. Congrats to you and your DH on your upcoming Marriage, I wish you many of Happy years together. :)
meganisamom
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:23 PM
Same here. Glad you found your happiness.


Quoting merryvoice:

I can't speak for anyone else, but when I was younger, I didn't have any self-respect, yet I never let a man hit me. Some had tried, but I left. I have known many abused women and not all of them lacked self-respect. They stayed because they were committed, they stayed because they thought they could help, they stayed because they loved them. Everyone has their own reasons.



Self-respect isn't always easy to come by. My husband had a hell of a time helping me gain some, but I was one od the few fortunate women who got her Prince after all her toads.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
braezmommy89
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:28 PM
Oh I am :)
Thank you.


Quoting merryvoice:

That is one good man. Keep him! And congrats!



Quoting braezmommy89:

Ummmm...





My df (dh in 5 days) has 5 other children, 4 from his ex wife, 1 of which isnt biologically his but he has raised him and continues to, and finally my two..





He bustes his ass EVERYDAY to care for ALL of his children and make sure we all had what we needed & wanted.. He has & contiues to provide and protect for us.





He had a brain hemmorage(sp) Oct 16th 2011 & since then has had 4 strokes. His Dr told him last Tuesday, he cant return to work (he is a BPO) for Multiple reasons.. Seizures, Strokes, and headaches as a result from the brain bleed..


Even tho god has thrown this at us, he STILL has provided and protected us, all of his children have what they need and then some!!





I have self respect, and im proud of my soo to be hubby!! He could of said "eff it" to his son whn he divorced his ex because hes not technically his but he didnt, he could have gave up when he had his brain hemmorage last Oct but he didnt..


He loves me & all of our kids & continues to do his very best for all of us..

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
braezmommy89
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:29 PM
Thank you!! He is beyond amazing, I couldnt of asked for a better man :)




Quoting Amandatoo:

Quoting braezmommy89:

Ummmm...



My df (dh in 5 days) has 5 other children, 4 from his ex wife, 1 of which isnt biologically his but he has raised him and continues to, and finally my two..



He bustes his ass EVERYDAY to care for ALL of his children and make sure we all had what we needed & wanted.. He has & contiues to provide and protect for us.



He had a brain hemmorage(sp) Oct 16th 2011 & since then has had 4 strokes. His Dr told him last Tuesday, he cant return to work (he is a BPO) for Multiple reasons.. Seizures, Strokes, and headaches as a result from the brain bleed..

Even tho god has thrown this at us, he STILL has provided and protected us, all of his children have what they need and then some!!



I have self respect, and im proud of my soo to be hubby!! He could of said "eff it" to his son whn he divorced his ex because hes not technically his but he didnt, he could have gave up when he had his brain hemmorage last Oct but he didnt..

He loves me & all of our kids & continues to do his very best for all of us..





Your soon to be DH sounds like a amazing Man, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be talking about him. All of his Kids are with his ex, not all different women. Congrats to you and your DH on your upcoming Marriage, I wish you many of Happy years together. :)

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