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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage
Ladies, I really enjoy CM (most of the time) I can identify a lot of times, I'm divorced, remarried. I have exhusband issues, ex wife issues and a big blended family. I am no where near perfect. And I never pretend I am. But, day after day I read about women who post stories about men who cheat, abuse, humiliate and are all around shitty husbands/boyfriends/fathers. These girls I feel awful for. But what I'd like to know is..... Why do most of these girls have no self respect? Why do women think its ok to get involved with men who have numerous children with numerous women? DO they REALLY THINK THEY ARE GIING TO CHANGE? And why do they girls continue to have babies when no one is working? Or they have no place to live? Stop having children you can't afford. Stop being with men that treat you like shit. Try getting married to a decent man who loves you BEFORE you have 5 kids. Finish school, stand on your own feet and HAVE SOME FREAKIN SELF RESPECT. Or we will have daughters and sons who think it is okay to live like this.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:53 AM
Replies (71-80):
raegan1221
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:57 PM
1 mom liked this

 So do I. Isn't it crazy to look back and think "who was I"? I don't know if you do that but I do. The only good thing my ex husband gave me was our son and I wouldn't trade that for the world..

Quoting meganisamom:

I Always think "if I knew then what I know now". :)


Quoting raegan1221:

 I think it is, too. They think these men are fixable and it's too late when they finally figure out they aren't. We just don't need to go into a relationship where someone needs to be "fixed". But yes, my boyfriend and I have been together going on three years now. He treats me well:).


Quoting merryvoice:

I think that's why a lot of women stay...because they think they can fix them. But I'm so glad you left and I hope you have someone who treats you well.


Quoting raegan1221:


 I have been there myself.  I married my ex husband when I was 20 years old....and we started dating at 18...he was abusive one month in both physically and emotionally. He strangled me for the first time when I was 19 right before we got engaged. I still married him and it only escalated. He called me every name in the book, smothered my face in dirt, hit me while I was pregnant with our son.  The only reason I left was because of my son when he was 3 months old.  He never hit my stomach....and he never hurt me in front of our son except one time. That is when I left.



 



Now to answer your question: I don't know.  I wish I could understand that.  I went to three different counselors when we split up...and I couldn't understand what I was thinking.  Even at the time, it was like my head was in a bubble. At the beginning of the relationship, I thought I could save him. Yes, I am one of those...I thought I could save him. He had a very bad childhood.  Then when I knew I couldn't it was too late because he had beat me down emotionally so bad that I didn't care about myself.  I quit fighting back.  I quit caring about anything except our son.  So when he did that in front of him, it kind of woke me up.  6 years later, I have coming very far and can stand like you and ask that question "why?" because it doesn't make sense.


 


 

Faith, Hope & Love "I Will Have Faith in YOU, Hope For YOU To Come Home To Me & Love YOU More Every Day".
coffeelover66
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:05 PM
Yep and whats yrs oh dont ya work? GOTCHA


Quoting meganisamom:

Ohhhh do you try to insult my spelling and grammar and then when you get called out for your own, you use the "I'm on a phone at work" excuse. Gotcha.




Quoting coffeelover66:

Here is my excuse for not using commas im at work and on my phone during break i type fast and so whats yrs






Quoting meganisamom:

That's. Not thats. Who needs spell check? Just wondering. Should we mention the commas you forgot?




Quoting coffeelover66:

And im entitled to mine and i think u need to use spell check now thats my opinion ;-)








Posted on CafeMom Mobile
fnlyhappy65
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:19 PM

*stepping out* seems to be a catfight going down...

meganisamom
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:55 PM
Sweetie, going to insult my career before you even know what I do? Not a good idea. I teach sociology at a college. Now go play nicely in the sandbox.

Quoting coffeelover66:

Yep and whats yrs oh dont ya work? GOTCHA



Quoting meganisamom:

Ohhhh do you try to insult my spelling and grammar and then when you get called out for your own, you use the "I'm on a phone at work" excuse. Gotcha.





Quoting coffeelover66:

Here is my excuse for not using commas im at work and on my phone during break i type fast and so whats yrs







Quoting meganisamom:

That's. Not thats. Who needs spell check? Just wondering. Should we mention the commas you forgot?





Quoting coffeelover66:

And im entitled to mine and i think u need to use spell check now thats my opinion ;-)














Posted on CafeMom Mobile
coffeelover66
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:58 PM
Yep i agree w a janice ;-)


Quoting fnlyhappy65:

It's usually a lot more difficult when you are in a situation to get out and to recognize that you deserve more because you are stuck in the cycle.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
fnlyhappy65
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:06 AM

I must assume this is Patti?  Since my name isn't anywhere...

Quoting coffeelover66:

Yep i agree w a janice ;-)


Quoting fnlyhappy65:

It's usually a lot more difficult when you are in a situation to get out and to recognize that you deserve more because you are stuck in the cycle.



CoolRelax
by Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:21 AM

Agree.  I remember in my early 20's, when I dated a few guys in a row who were just total jackasses.  It just dawned on me....there are actually men out here who will tell me anything I want to hear in order to get what they want, but they don't give a shit about me.  It was a light bulb moment, because it would never occur to me to do something so predatory.  But there it is, and it was the catalyst for me making some changes in how I treated men and allowed them to treat me, and helped form my motto for the following years until I met my hubs:  DON'T LOVE THEM HOES!  lol.  But seriously.  Don't do it. 

2lilmamas
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:28 AM
I agree with you 100%. You have Love yourself first before you can Love someone.
merryvoice
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:09 PM

Yay! So happy for you.  =)

Quoting raegan1221:

 I think it is, too. They think these men are fixable and it's too late when they finally figure out they aren't. We just don't need to go into a relationship where someone needs to be "fixed". But yes, my boyfriend and I have been together going on three years now. He treats me well:).

Quoting merryvoice:

I think that's why a lot of women stay...because they think they can fix them. But I'm so glad you left and I hope you have someone who treats you well.

Quoting raegan1221:

 I have been there myself.  I married my ex husband when I was 20 years old....and we started dating at 18...he was abusive one month in both physically and emotionally. He strangled me for the first time when I was 19 right before we got engaged. I still married him and it only escalated. He called me every name in the book, smothered my face in dirt, hit me while I was pregnant with our son.  The only reason I left was because of my son when he was 3 months old.  He never hit my stomach....and he never hurt me in front of our son except one time. That is when I left.


 


Now to answer your question: I don't know.  I wish I could understand that.  I went to three different counselors when we split up...and I couldn't understand what I was thinking.  Even at the time, it was like my head was in a bubble. At the beginning of the relationship, I thought I could save him. Yes, I am one of those...I thought I could save him. He had a very bad childhood.  Then when I knew I couldn't it was too late because he had beat me down emotionally so bad that I didn't care about myself.  I quit fighting back.  I quit caring about anything except our son.  So when he did that in front of him, it kind of woke me up.  6 years later, I have coming very far and can stand like you and ask that question "why?" because it doesn't make sense.

 


raegan1221
by Silver Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:46 PM

 Thank you very much. I really appreciate that. Very rarely does anyone take an interest in my past relationship. It's nice to get out sometimes ya know. Thanks for that.

Quoting merryvoice:

Yay! So happy for you.  =)

Quoting raegan1221:

 I think it is, too. They think these men are fixable and it's too late when they finally figure out they aren't. We just don't need to go into a relationship where someone needs to be "fixed". But yes, my boyfriend and I have been together going on three years now. He treats me well:).

Quoting merryvoice:

I think that's why a lot of women stay...because they think they can fix them. But I'm so glad you left and I hope you have someone who treats you well.

Quoting raegan1221:

 I have been there myself.  I married my ex husband when I was 20 years old....and we started dating at 18...he was abusive one month in both physically and emotionally. He strangled me for the first time when I was 19 right before we got engaged. I still married him and it only escalated. He called me every name in the book, smothered my face in dirt, hit me while I was pregnant with our son.  The only reason I left was because of my son when he was 3 months old.  He never hit my stomach....and he never hurt me in front of our son except one time. That is when I left.


 


Now to answer your question: I don't know.  I wish I could understand that.  I went to three different counselors when we split up...and I couldn't understand what I was thinking.  Even at the time, it was like my head was in a bubble. At the beginning of the relationship, I thought I could save him. Yes, I am one of those...I thought I could save him. He had a very bad childhood.  Then when I knew I couldn't it was too late because he had beat me down emotionally so bad that I didn't care about myself.  I quit fighting back.  I quit caring about anything except our son.  So when he did that in front of him, it kind of woke me up.  6 years later, I have coming very far and can stand like you and ask that question "why?" because it doesn't make sense.

 


 

Faith, Hope & Love "I Will Have Faith in YOU, Hope For YOU To Come Home To Me & Love YOU More Every Day".
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