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Need some serious "spicing up" help!!

Posted by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 12:56 PM
  • 10 Replies
Alright, my husband is 23 and I am 21. We have a 3 year old and a 4 month old. We used to have sex almost daily which is where dd1 came from lol. Our Sex life decreased while I was pregnant but not bad. After I had her we went through rough times and our sex life went to every once in awhile. It's never really gotten back to normal. We can go 6-12 weeks with no sex. He gets aggravated and has a high sex drive. I have none. I literally have no desire to have sex. It's not him, because the sex we have is good but I just don't want to do it. I know it hurts his self esteem and upsets him but when I do it just to please him he gets mad because I'm not doing it because i want to. I dont know why I feel this way but i do. Anyone have any help??
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by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 12:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Apple1
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:02 PM

 

Sometimes in a marriage, you have to bend a little.  If you truly love your husband, you should be able to be close and together with him at least once a week.  So much of marriage is the close time you spend together, it helps keep the bond you have alive...Have you checked your hormone levels, went to a doctor to discuss these issues? 

addiesmommy1109
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:06 PM
I have pcos so my hormones are wacky. I also have some thyroid issues. Im also 60lbs heavier than I was when we were first married. So I have an issue with my body. I do give in and do it but he gets mad because I'm not into it. I'm not an actress so I can't fake being into it.
I truly try but I just can't


Quoting Apple1:

 


Sometimes in a marriage, you have to bend a little.  If you truly love your husband, you should be able to be close and together with him at least once a week.  So much of marriage is the close time you spend together, it helps keep the bond you have alive...Have you checked your hormone levels, went to a doctor to discuss these issues? 


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Bknotnobody
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:09 PM
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See a doctor. However I started exercising and that brought back my drive I also lost about 30 lbs and it has made me a happy woman because I feel confident and sexier. Our sex life is still out the window now though but that's because we just don't have the time.
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ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:13 PM
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Um, you have a pre-schooler and a baby. Of course you don't want to have sex, you are completely exhausted. There isn't anything wrong with you, it's just a normal phase of motherhood/marriage.

Just try getting a sitter for the day and take a day to yourself to shop, nap, go to lunch, get your hair done, just take a relaxing day for yourself and see how much better it makes you feel.
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AlannaMaria
by Alanna on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:29 PM
THIS!!! Go out on dates at least once or twice a month. Have romantic dinners at home when the kids are in bed. Excersice will help too!! Hang in there it won't be like this forever. We have all been there!!

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

Um, you have a pre-schooler and a baby. Of course you don't want to have sex, you are completely exhausted. There isn't anything wrong with you, it's just a normal phase of motherhood/marriage.



Just try getting a sitter for the day and take a day to yourself to shop, nap, go to lunch, get your hair done, just take a relaxing day for yourself and see how much better it makes you feel.
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SareyF
by Sarah on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:37 PM
I think the more you do it, the more you want to. Having sex can be fun, can boost confidence, make you feel like a sexy woman and not just mom and wife, etc. I'd say go on dates and make a conscientious effort to reconnect romantically. Maybe take all day flirting, light touches in passing, going out together to let things build. Laugh, hold each other, kiss. Think about all the things that you love about him and that make him so hot to you.
Then mix up the sex. Try different things. There's a whole world of fun and freaky things to do with your so lol
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addiesmommy1109
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:20 AM
Thanks ladies. Were talking about trying to get a date night in a few weeks. We never have time to ourselves. Lol. Its an exhausting life
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CameronsMommy23
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:26 AM
I agree with the date night suggestion. And are you on birth control? That can effect your libido too. Talk to your doc and see what she says.
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addiesmommy1109
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:32 AM
Yes I am on the depo shot but it is done st the end of the month so I'm coming off of it. I feel I don't need chemical bc if I'm not even having sex that often lol


Quoting CameronsMommy23:

I agree with the date night suggestion. And are you on birth control? That can effect your libido too. Talk to your doc and see what she says.

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prinzesa_edith
by Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:36 AM
Use it or loose it, the more you do it, the more you will want it, or the less you do it the less you want it.
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