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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Smoking!

Posted by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 6:10 PM
  • 12 Replies
So I've been asking md DF to quit smoking for about ten months or so. I've threatened, begged, everything I could think of and nothing works. He has supposedly "tried" several times but with no luck. Finally he got an e cig, but that was short lived. Toward the end of my pregnancy he seemed to cut back but ever since I was in labor at the hospital he is smoking like crazy again! My mom and grandpa have COPD from smoking and my mother is very sick from this. I don't want to see my fiancé end up like them and I also don't want the smoke smell around me or my baby. ( he smokes outside) I don't know what to do. We've fought about it for so long and I'm firm in my belief that he should quit. What should I do!?
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 6:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
xoxRachelxox
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 6:50 PM

It is very hard to quit.

It takes a lot of will power. I switched to the e-cigarette and have been using that for 2 years but now I need to quit that. So I just went from one thing to another. Although the e-cig is much better for me.

I don't really know what to say. I just know that it is incredibly hard to quit.

babs61679
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 7:01 PM
Quitting smoking is a very hard thing. I know from personal experience. I'm still trying to quit. I haven't been very successful yet. I do want to tell you though that he has to want to quit for himself and not because you or anyone else wants him to. It has to be his decision. It's a little bit easier to quit if it's something he wants to do. I'm sorry to say that, but unfortunately it's true. Please don't take any of what I said as bashing or anything else. It definitely was not intended that way.
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ShannaBee
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 7:03 PM
It's hard! I am trying. Not been very successful at it. I understand your view on wanting him to be healthier but this is something he is going to have to want in order to quit. Godo luck.
MagicTemptation
by Christina on Oct. 7, 2012 at 7:09 PM

I havent smoked in 3.5 years. It is still a battle at times. I understand wanting him to quit but ultimately that is his decision. If you hound him about it, that will just annoy him and make him want one more.

kellybelly95
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:39 PM

Smoking is the hardest thing to quit. If he doent want to then it will not happen. I have not smoked for 10 years now and still sometimes it comes back on me and i want to. Even in my sleep im a smoker. All my dreams im a smoker. So even after he does quit it is going to be the hardest thing to keep up with. Good luck.

The_Doodle
by Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:42 PM

What you should do is let him decide to quit on his own. No matter how hard you push him you cannot singlehandedly force him to quit. He has to want to. Just make it clear that he can't smoke in the car or house and he has to wash his hands after coming in from smoking and leave it at that. 

LaughingTattoo
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:46 PM

Lets see.....Im gonna guess that he didnt smoke before you met, right? Bc if he did......

Anyway....nagging, whining, making snide comments about the smell/cost/ect and bitching wont make him quit. It will only make it harder or worse yet, make him not want to at all. He has to decide to do it on his own. Be patient (very patient....it can take a LONG time) and supportive.

MistyMoo
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:52 PM
My DF was like that with me. Honestly, he has to want to do it; not only for you guys, but himself too. I have been smoke free for 7 months now, it's HARD.. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's still hard sometimes! Be patient and supportive.
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Mommy4000
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:53 PM

He's a grown man, and it has to be something he wants to change, as with any addiction. My husband smokes, and sure I'd like him to quit, but I can only support his desire to, not force him to. My husband also smokes outside and the kids are not allowed to ride in the truck he smokes in (our other vehicles are all smoke free). You can encourage, you can voice your concerns, but at the end of the day, it really has to be something he chooses to do on his own.

nurbabe82
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:56 PM

 He just has to do it when he is ready. My mom bugged for years to quit but I just couldn't do it when she wanted me to, I had to do it when I was ready. For some people like my dh he can just quit and start when ever he wants like its nothing but for me and many other people it doesn't come that easy. I had to prepare to quit.

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