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Am I Really In The Wrong!?

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Okay so it's like this...SO & I don't live together yet. I was up about 9:15 reorganizing my closet & putting clothes away when I called him to say goodnight...We made it a routine where we always call at 9 to say goodnight because that's when we both go to sleep. I told him I would be going to sleep soon after I finish my closet & putting my clothes away. After we hung up, I started moving elsewhere in my room, picking up, cleaning my room. At 10:45 I finally lay down & I get a Facebook notification from my cousin, he's a guy, he commented on a pic of me that my SO posted on my profile. I responded back to his comment & about 1 min. later my SO texts asking if I'm still up. He got the notifcation from Facebook too after I responded back to my cousin. I explain to him that I ended cleaning the rest of my room. He said I must lie to him alot...he's talking about me saying I'll be going to sleep soon after I'm done with my closet & I didn't. That's all he text lastnight.

So this morning I text him saying good morning & asked if he was still upset. He texted back saying "I'm not upset. Can't change how you present yourself. O well, gonna make it not bother me anymore." And that was it.

Does this make me a liar!? Is this really a big deal because to him it is & I just don't see it. What should I do? It bothers me that he thinks I'm a liar.

by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 11:32 AM
Replies (31-34):
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 5:07 PM
He sounds very insecure. How long have you been seeing each other? If your relationship is that important to you ask him to couples counseling. If he doesn't think there is a reason to go or flat out refuses, I would consider ending the relationship. You shouldn't have to tip toe thru a relationship if its genuine. Sounds like he doesn't trust you. That's not good for you or your kids - or his for that matter.
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by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 5:16 PM
1 mom liked this

you know honestly I can see it from both points of did tell him you were gonna do one thing and then ended up doing another but then in that note I can for sure how you get into cleaning, happens to me all the time...maybe he is just upset because you told him one thing then decided to stay up and chat with someone, maybe he was just hurt that you didnt call him and talk to him, guys can be kinda weird like I would have a heart to heart with him and find out what is going on and why he equates these things with cheating, get his point of view and try to get his

by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 6:32 PM

Red flags from Mr. Insecurity!  He knows you aren't a kid, but treats you like a kid online after bedtime.  Sounds like he's either cheating (they tend to be the most paranoid because they know what to look for since they're doing wrong), had been cheated on, or knows someone who has told him what happened in their relationship and doesn't trust you enough not to be doing something.  The therapy suggetion is actually a good idea.  You need to nip this in the bud now, or it will escalate and become a serious issue in your relationship.  Don't ignore it and definitely pay attention for any other conrolling behaviors.  It's easier to get out of a controlling relationship now if that's what's happening.  Wishing you a positive outcome!

by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 7:10 PM

That does not make you a liar. He's being dramatic about it. So what if you didn't go to bed when you said you were. What's the big deal? You're a grown woman, you can stay up all night if you decide to. Are you supposed to call him and say hey, I know I told you I was going to bed but I'm going to do something else instead. That seems a bit much.

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