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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

How Do i get passed this?! long

Posted by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:00 PM
  • 28 Replies
On Friday night my Dh went out with the guys from work. I talked to him a few times while he was out. He came home and wanted to have sex.I took it as he was in a good mood because i let him go.
Saturday morning while he was was in the shower before work i was going through his phone. There wasn't any odd messages but in his call log there was a call from a girl named sabrina. I looked under the history for her and saw that he had been texting her all week. on Friday alone there were like 200 texts.
I of course completely freaked out and went in the bathroom yelling. he said she is just a friend and he deleted the messages because he didn't want me upset for no reason. There was alot of yelling before he left. i am so hurt. even if he isn't screwing her its wrong. i could barely respond to his text all day that day. he got off early so he could come home and talk.
I had to let it go because Im 15 weeks pregnant and high risk. my head hurt so bad from my blood presure and i hadn't eatin all day. i couldn't get out of bed i was so upset and depressed. i had to let it go because i couldn't deal with feeling that for the rest of the weekend. i would have ended up in the er.
So i did what i had to in hopes of taking care of my unborn baby.
We seemed ok. watched a few movies sat night and took our three yo to the movies on Sunday.
This morning he's back at work. i find myself in this state of depression yet again. its easy to be ok when he's here but i don't trust him and when he's gone i can't stop worrying what he's doing or who he's talking to.
I don't want to hear leave him he's a cheater. i can't get a job right now i don't have a car. i can't live with my parents because my sis and her two kids already do. its a mess and it would be entirely too stressfull and unsafe for my ds. honestly i don't want to leave either. he says he isn't doing anything he swears. i am just so confused! Im hormonal and want to just lay here and cry... sorry this is so long. i really needed to vent!
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by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mustloveanimals
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:09 PM

Have you been having problems? I mean, what prompted you to go through his phone? Assuming he is being honest: It is incredibly suspicious for him to have so much contact with another female. I think that much is very inappropriate.

Who is taking care of your three year old while you are feeling so depressed? You need to get up out of bed and realize you have a little man to take care of...not just that baby you are carrying.

Amanda7409
by Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:12 PM
He has broken my trust in the past. it was a while ago but its still hard.
I have been taking care of ds. i may be upset but he has had breakfast been played with and is watching cartoons next to me.
That's why this is hard. i feel so bad but have to take care of him. its hard to put on a smile and just be ok....


Quoting mustloveanimals:

Have you been having problems? I mean, what prompted you to go through his phone? Assuming he is being honest: It is incredibly suspicious for him to have so much contact with another female. I think that much is very inappropriate.

Who is taking care of your three year old while you are feeling so depressed? You need to get up out of bed and realize you have a little man to take care of...not just that baby you are carrying.

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Titana
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:13 PM
1 mom liked this
Take a deep breath and decide to believe him or not. I agree it is odd to talk to a female that much AND then delete it. I have male friends who I talk to but I don't delete the messages and in fact talk about the convos over dinner sometimes. Personally, I would ask him why he was talking to her so much and about what. If it was nothing why hide it?
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katamike
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:14 PM
1 mom liked this

 oh my, I am so sorry you are feeling this way! wow.. I mean if you wanted to dig deeper you can call your cell phone provider and find out exactly what was said.. they keep records of all that...if you would want to do that. Then you would know for sure. This is a terrible situation, especially since your expecting. I really don't have any super good advice,but if i were in that situation i would do some major digging before I jumped to any major conclusions.

bcauseimthemom
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:18 PM
2 moms liked this

There is no reason to be texting another female that excessively unless she is your wife or a family member in another state.  He obviously he knows he id doing something wrong if he is deleting text messages.  He is not only disrespecting you but he does not care about your health nor the health of your unborn child.  I would demand that he call this female on speaker phone with you present and he cut all contact with her.  If he refuses, I would figure out how I would be surviving without a husband.  At this point, he needs to step up or step out.

Amanda7409
by Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:19 PM
He said they were just bsing about work stuff. she works at the dealership next door. he said i have just been so emotional lately he didn't want to upset me about talking to another girl. he said she has a kia so was having work done on her car. he also said she knows he's married and has seen our pics on his desk and the sono pic on his computer. he doesn't know if she's married with i find odd since they have apparently been talking so much...

Quoting Titana:

Take a deep breath and decide to believe him or not. I agree it is odd to talk to a female that much AND then delete it. I have male friends who I talk to but I don't delete the messages and in fact talk about the convos over dinner sometimes. Personally, I would ask him why he was talking to her so much and about what. If it was nothing why hide it?
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Amanda7409
by Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:24 PM
It's all in his name. i don't think i have access to get the records

Quoting katamike:

 oh my, I am so sorry you are feeling this way! wow.. I mean if you wanted to dig deeper you can call your cell phone provider and find out exactly what was said.. they keep records of all that...if you would want to do that. Then you would know for sure. This is a terrible situation, especially since your expecting. I really don't have any super good advice,but if i were in that situation i would do some major digging before I jumped to any major conclusions.

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katamike
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:42 PM
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 Surely so, your his wife.. but i couldn't tell you :/ I don't know if you can or not. Tell him you want to call "sabrina" or see her f2f. Make sure she knows that he is married and his wife is high risk expecting. That he has a son at home, a family. Not saying that anything is going on for sure b/c i dont know. I defiantley wouldn't just let this go without diggin deeper. JMO.

Quoting Amanda7409:

It's all in his name. i don't think i have access to get the records

Quoting katamike:

 oh my, I am so sorry you are feeling this way! wow.. I mean if you wanted to dig deeper you can call your cell phone provider and find out exactly what was said.. they keep records of all that...if you would want to do that. Then you would know for sure. This is a terrible situation, especially since your expecting. I really don't have any super good advice,but if i were in that situation i would do some major digging before I jumped to any major conclusions.

 

rayroe2
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:49 PM

If it isnt nothing why are they talking.....he might not be having sex with her but he is getting something from her and he needs to be honest about it with you.

TairyHesticle
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:50 PM
Fuck that. I'd be gone!
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