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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

How Do i get passed this?! long

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On Friday night my Dh went out with the guys from work. I talked to him a few times while he was out. He came home and wanted to have sex.I took it as he was in a good mood because i let him go.
Saturday morning while he was was in the shower before work i was going through his phone. There wasn't any odd messages but in his call log there was a call from a girl named sabrina. I looked under the history for her and saw that he had been texting her all week. on Friday alone there were like 200 texts.
I of course completely freaked out and went in the bathroom yelling. he said she is just a friend and he deleted the messages because he didn't want me upset for no reason. There was alot of yelling before he left. i am so hurt. even if he isn't screwing her its wrong. i could barely respond to his text all day that day. he got off early so he could come home and talk.
I had to let it go because Im 15 weeks pregnant and high risk. my head hurt so bad from my blood presure and i hadn't eatin all day. i couldn't get out of bed i was so upset and depressed. i had to let it go because i couldn't deal with feeling that for the rest of the weekend. i would have ended up in the er.
So i did what i had to in hopes of taking care of my unborn baby.
We seemed ok. watched a few movies sat night and took our three yo to the movies on Sunday.
This morning he's back at work. i find myself in this state of depression yet again. its easy to be ok when he's here but i don't trust him and when he's gone i can't stop worrying what he's doing or who he's talking to.
I don't want to hear leave him he's a cheater. i can't get a job right now i don't have a car. i can't live with my parents because my sis and her two kids already do. its a mess and it would be entirely too stressfull and unsafe for my ds. honestly i don't want to leave either. he says he isn't doing anything he swears. i am just so confused! Im hormonal and want to just lay here and cry... sorry this is so long. i really needed to vent!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:00 PM
Replies (21-28):
ShannaBee
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:42 PM
(((hugs)))
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
timswife_momof2
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:45 PM

under no circumstances is it ok for a male or female to have conversations on text or phone with the opposite sex while they are married.

EmilysMom2010
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 4:48 PM
He is a liar.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
krisdev67
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 6:29 PM

 Go to this website for support and guidance.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/

 

charliebean
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 6:51 PM
It's always just "work stuff". If it was nothing, he would have left the messages as proof. My STBX's whore knew he was married too. You'd be surprised how many women don't care.

Quoting Amanda7409:

He said they were just bsing about work stuff. she works at the dealership next door. he said i have just been so emotional lately he didn't want to upset me about talking to another girl. he said she has a kia so was having work done on her car. he also said she knows he's married and has seen our pics on his desk and the sono pic on his computer. he doesn't know if she's married with i find odd since they have apparently been talking so much...



Quoting Titana:

Take a deep breath and decide to believe him or not. I agree it is odd to talk to a female that much AND then delete it. I have male friends who I talk to but I don't delete the messages and in fact talk about the convos over dinner sometimes. Personally, I would ask him why he was talking to her so much and about what. If it was nothing why hide it?
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CameronsMommy23
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 6:57 PM
I'd follow through on his offer to get his text records printed out. If he actually does it then there's probably nothing to worry about. Just ask that he doesn't delete his texts going forward. If he makes excuses and doesn't actually do it then I'd be concerned. Hugs!!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
hudson.maggie
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 7:03 PM
Did he text you back? I wouldn't be upset about him talking with another girl, I'd be upset about him hiding it from me, which throws up red flags :(. I hope he really is just "bsing about work"
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
lazyd
by Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 7:05 PM

He is lying and cheating on you!  It may not be sexual at this point, but it might turn to that later.  He claims its "work" text, than he shouldnt be deleting the text and NO ONE has 200 text in ONE day over WORK stuff!  People need to SPEAK on the phone and there are landline work phones for that if they are co workers.  Your dh is going to use your pregnancy against you and say you are all hormonal and depressed so you are taking things out of context.  DONT FALL FOR IT!  THAT is what cheaters DO, they blame others!

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