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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Little ways to be more of a "home-maker" type wife?

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My husband recently took a job working the night shift for a factory. He is always really tired and sore and doesnt get home until 2am. I have been cooking dinner and saving him a portion and then writing a note (& leaving it where he puts his keys) saying where his dinner is, what it is, etc. He really seems to appreciate it and mentioned how nice it is.

I know his mom is super-SAHM and always does really motherly things like that for her kids and husband. I wish I was that way...but I am really more of the strong, independant, working woman type. I admit that I suck at being helpful and affectionate and more wife-like. I have no clue what other nice gestures and helpful habits to start doing to be more like that. So...any ideas?


CafeMom Tickers
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:55 PM
Replies (11-20):
amber710
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:38 AM

I know. Mine works an hour away, and there is no way I would put the kids in the car and drive an hour to give him food that would be cold when I got there. I wish he worked closer. I did like the one poster's idea of baking cookies or some other treat and sending it with him. I think I am going to do that and you could too. I am going make his favorite cookies and then put them in a brown paper bag (so he cant see what I am handing him) with a note in it and tell him to open it in the car.

I never would have thought of that by myself. Thats why I asked! lol

Quoting katamike:

 All these ladies had wonderful ideas! wow makes me think of what more i could be doing for Dh.. He is not much of a complainer, so i never know what he is thinking...lol I wouldn't try to compare myself to his mom, i mean she has alot of years under her belt, so i would just continue to do things for him that makes him feel appreciated :) You know him better than anyone of us do.. I am glad you posted this tho, gives me some good ideas. I wish i could take lunch to Dh, but he works an hour and 15 mins away :(


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JamminOutMama
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:38 AM
Keep the house cozy? Rub his back
MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 3:12 AM

well I work nights but I get home in the mornng at 745am.  Maybe leave out his pajamas if he sleeps in any.  most important for me really beyond spending more time with my kids once they are home from school, is time to sleep or less on my plate to handle on certain days.  I will say my hubby has stepped up with getting our kids breakfast in the morning, when before i was barely able to get in the door and go to the bathroom before I was already making their breakfast, getting their clothes out, packing their bags, etc.  Him making breakfast helped to make my homecoming less hectic.

kjbugsmom1517
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 6:44 AM
Ha! I raise his kids and cook his dinner and wash his clothes without a hint of "could ya help". Hes such a baby and i just dont have the patience to give him alot of extras. Hes not very giving in this regard either. Notes r cute but ya run out of things to say. I dunno maybe ive just been doin it to long so its all work to me lol
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shimmifairy
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 6:49 AM

Don't try to be like his mom....Be you :) apparantly you are good at the wifely affection because he married you :)


TJandKarasMom
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 6:59 AM
My DH works nights too, I suck at being a homemaker and he knows it. Luckily he understands :)

I try to make dinner on the nights he works but he is the dinner maker in our house. It's easier for me in the winter when I want to cook and bake to warm up the house, lol. I'm just not a cook, but I try for him.

I try to pack him something to do (he works security, so he's bored a lot of the night), and some snacks. When I go to the store I try to get him something he likes and pack it as a surprise. Once in a while I write him a longer note thanking him and loving him. One time I used a sharpie and wrote notes on his snacks and drinks :)

I also make sure he has clean uniforms and socks and undies, I stay home when he sleeps a lot because he sleeps better knowing we are safe I guess, if I'm going out I tell him where we are going so he doesn't wake up to an empty house. But I'm usually working and kids in school while he sleeps.

I just try to remember when he tells me things and do those things for him, I really just try and that's good enough for him :)
Metteba
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:03 PM

Wow. You ladies do alot for your husband, but does he do the same for you? I only have a BF for a couple years now, and when I think of something nice to do for him, its just usually showing up with lunch from Dairy queen, he likes that.  I dont think I would over do it with all the baking and love notes only cuz he says that it gets boring.  I, at first used to text him all day long and he finally told me, you dont need to text me all day, I'm at work, working!!  Then he whines about not hearing from me, geez, you cant please this guy...LOL.  But he's alright...:P

SareyF
by Sarah on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:27 PM
I do a lot of the same things as the ladies here have said. I often make dinner twice or do it in the crock pot so Dh has a fresh, hot meal. I bake him treats or buy them and sneak them into his jacket, lunch bag, car, etc. I do notes and text him, send pictures. I very occasionally bring things to his work. I make his favorite things. I keep the house nice and make sure he has cozy pajamas every night.
Just be you though. He picked you, married you. Obviously you have been doing something he likes. ;)
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lapcounter
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:28 PM

When my husband worked a night shift, the girl's and and I would make a picnic dinner and take to him he loved it and had just a small bit of family time.

SareyF
by Sarah on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:31 PM
My husband didn't always. He was pretty selfish actually. But now he does things like make me breakfast, fix my coffee, take the kids so I can do homework, cook on occasion, clean a little, run errands, rub my shoulders and neck and back, give me lots of sex lol he realized he had it good and that when I'm happy too I'm much better with everyone.

Quoting Metteba:

Wow. You ladies do alot for your husband, but does he do the same for you? I only have a BF for a couple years now, and when I think of something nice to do for him, its just usually showing up with lunch from Dairy queen, he likes that.  I dont think I would over do it with all the baking and love notes only cuz he says that it gets boring.  I, at first used to text him all day long and he finally told me, you dont need to text me all day, I'm at work, working!!  Then he whines about not hearing from me, geez, you cant please this guy...LOL.  But he's alright...:P

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