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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

I'm REALLY in a pickle!!!!!

I'm not sure what to do. Here is my problem. I have a very active 1 and half yo daughter and I've got to have foot surgery that requires me to be OFF my foot litteraly for 8 weeks. All my family lives outta town and my daughter's fathers family is WORTHLESS they dont want to help me and neither does he. First thing he told me when i told him about the surgery was... " dont expect me to take my vaction time" and then his mom said " Well I guess youll have to do it all, like i did"


He is the type that IF you have any kind of medical issues he looks down upon you. Like he KNEW from the start of the realstionship that i'm a type 1 diabeties so obvousely I have to get freqent medical care ( mind you *I* carry the medical insurance AND pay all my own med bills ect ect).


I'm thinking that I might just have to tell the Dr that its not an option because of what i desribed above. Sigh..... I'm really depressed.  I dont really have any friends... i have people i know at work... but no body that I would trust to help me and take are of my little one. HELP!!!! What should i do????

by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 6:16 PM
Replies (21-30):
rmfanfgljf
by Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:51 AM
Honestly if a wheel chair bound women can take care of her kid(s) so can you!! Find some faith in yourself.
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jen1130
by Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:55 AM
Even think about checking into the state providing help with daycare on a temporary basis for medical need. You would most likely need to set things up like in my first post. Maybe he would do transportation???

Don't put it off too long depending on why you need it. In my case the tumor was very close to breaking the bone. That would have been really bad. Again good luck
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jen1130
by Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:09 AM
It is really hard to do when you are in pain and you have a moving 18 mo old. All while trying to figure it out.

When I had my surgery I was on pain meds for the first 2 weeks( about) it put me to sleep. There is no way for the first week or 2 I could have done it.
Also showering was hard enough let alone cleaning an 18 month old.
Her situtation is not just about it being hard for her with a bum foot it's about being able to safely care for daughter and being awake enough to make sure she is not doing something to hurt herself.
Most of the time once someone in a wheel chair is used to their situtation they have had help and have had help learning how to care for their child if the child.




Quoting rmfanfgljf:

Honestly if a wheel chair bound women can take care of her kid(s) so can you!! Find some faith in yourself.

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Tisiphone122810
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:31 AM
Quoting jen1130:




Thank you =) Thats the point I was trying to make. I know my self and I know being on crutches there is NO way i can carry her or hold her hand with her walking. I'm having to get ankle reconstruction surgery, so its not like ill be back on my feet in a week.

I'm sorry if i seems gripey but this is my only outlet. This event just reconfirmed that her father's can kiss my rear end. I've gotta get outta there. I dont even think ill bother him with child support as lone as he leaves us alone. I just assume he not be a influence on her. Since he isnt a positive one Kinda makes me sad because he seemed like the PERFECT one but then showed his true colors.
CameronsMommy23
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:38 AM
If he's been this way without improvement for awhile I'd move closer to your family and have the surgery there. It takes two people to make baby and him saying she's just yours is bs. Leave him alone and start living a better life. Hugs!!
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Aamy
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:40 AM
Ditch the loser. Also day care might be a option.
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jen1130
by Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:03 AM
Ok so I can tell you just from my surgery it really was a long time before I could drive it was my right foot, if it had been my left it would have been better....and the meds are hard as far as they will knock you out.
If you need that much done,I guess you will be off work the whole time? If you can see about going to family maybe that is the answer.
My family lived an hour away but would have been no help. My DH was living in our travel trailer 30 hours away(military) I had to taken my 4 kids and 3 dogs to go to visit him for Christmas for 3 weeks and we stayed 4 months.... I had no idea about my foot until I got there. That was really hard but I could not have done it any other way.

I wish we lived closer I am about 4 hours south of you.

Better luck finding a real man/ partner. You do for sure need someone who can teach your little girl how men should be.




Quoting Tisiphone122810:

Quoting jen1130:






Thank you =) Thats the point I was trying to make. I know my self and I know being on crutches there is NO way i can carry her or hold her hand with her walking. I'm having to get ankle reconstruction surgery, so its not like ill be back on my feet in a week.



I'm sorry if i seems gripey but this is my only outlet. This event just reconfirmed that her father's can kiss my rear end. I've gotta get outta there. I dont even think ill bother him with child support as lone as he leaves us alone. I just assume he not be a influence on her. Since he isnt a positive one Kinda makes me sad because he seemed like the PERFECT one but then showed his true colors.

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Metteba
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 12:56 PM
Wow. Nice Real Nice. Have the surgery and make him take care of his daughter, if you must, drop her off at his work and let him deal with it. Just Sayin'
rosegorgeous
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:49 PM

Hi there!! Can you afford a sitter or pay someone to help you out.  I dont know your financial situation but you might want to try hiring someone. 

I think that's very selfish of your husband not wanting to help ou out because you are his wife and the mother of his child. 

Tisiphone122810
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 5:49 PM
MY surgery is kinda complicated. I have a SEVERE diabetic ulcer on my foot as a result have a deformed bone ( it causes my foot to turn in and puts pressure). So yeah i shouldnt put it off much longer. I just gotta get things figured out. I'm just going to pray about it. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend is a HOPLESS case i'm SOOO GLAD i did NOT marry him.
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