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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Keep him or drop him?

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:14 AM
  • 28 Replies

So I am now three months pregnant with my first and my boyfriend and I have known for 2 months. The first month things were great. Now I've told my parents a month ago, he keeps saying he will and then something comes up. I have also asked him for help like standing in line cause I almost pass out if I stand too long and cleaning the cat box. He says he doesn't think he should have to because it's for me and the baby not him.  He is also not currently working and only takes 2 classes.  I have gotten to the point where I told him he needed to step up and show me he wanted to be with me and the baby or he'd lose me.  We were going to sit down the next day and talk about it per his request to see me.  He texted me 10 minutes before and said he wasn't going to make it and I haven't heard from him since.  It's now been 2 days and I know he's ok cause facebook shows him out with friends and at bars.  My family thinks I need to give him time and he'll come around, but I'm so hurt right now I don't know what to do. If anyone has been through this your advice would be great.

by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
thecoffeefairy
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:18 AM
8 moms liked this
Make plans to care for yourself and baby solo. If he comes around great. I would not count on it though. Be sure to ask for child support when baby is born and finish your education. It is the key to a happy, successful future.
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spitfire06
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:20 AM
I dont think he is going to step up...
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fnlyhappy65
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:35 AM

 Unfortunately it sounds like you are on your own with this one :(

jen1130
by Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:37 AM
Well I think he is showing you in no uncertain terms who he is. I know a lady who had 4 kids with a guy who would not work or go to school. She finally walked but with 4 kids. She had no education either. She she was hurting for a while.

Why would you take care of him? It should kind of be an even.....maybe some times where one person pulls a little or even a lot more weight than the other but not because of an unwillingness to do so.
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ColorMeCrazy
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:37 AM
1 mom liked this

This. He honestly sounds like a deadbeat, be prepared to do this all on your own. I wouldn't even try anymore, if he cared he would come to you. Look into all of your options, I'm telling you right now that that guy isn't going to even attempt to pay child support.

Quoting thecoffeefairy:

Make plans to care for yourself and baby solo. If he comes around great. I would not count on it though. Be sure to ask for child support when baby is born and finish your education. It is the key to a happy, successful future.


Mommy4000
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:40 AM
1 mom liked this

There are rare occasions where people suddenly grow up and change, but his behavior now, is a good predictor of what his future behavior will be. Do you want to constantly remind him time and time again that he needs to step up and be a parent, or would it just be easier to do it yourself?

MagicTemptation
by Christina on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:41 AM
1 mom liked this

This. Make yourself prepared. It isn't uncommon for guys to freak out at first. He may come around. Don't hound him, let him come to you. If he doesn't then file for support. No one on here can say "he won't come around" or "he won't step up." Obviously we don't know him. 

Quoting thecoffeefairy:

Make plans to care for yourself and baby solo. If he comes around great. I would not count on it though. Be sure to ask for child support when baby is born and finish your education. It is the key to a happy, successful future.


aimesnyc
by Amy on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:43 AM
1 mom liked this

Yeah, I think you should prepare to raise this baby without him..Sounds like he's not ready to step up and be a parent.

I mean, come on.  As a pregnant woman you are not supposed to clean the litter box, among the other behavior that he is displaying. :(

MamaJ8329
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:43 AM

 If you tell  him to get his sh** together or he will lose you, and he doesn't get his s*** together you need to keep your word. If you don't he will just think he can continue to do what he wants because he will get the mindset that you won't leave him no matter what he does. Been there, done that thank goodness for me there weren't any kids involved. Good luck, and take care of yourself

Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:46 AM
2 moms liked this

 It is your choice what you decide to do

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