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Does your dh? *little update in replies*

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Does your dh appreciate you? Does he take notice when he comes home from work and the house is extra clean and you went out of your way to do something nice for him? Does he ever tell you he appreciates you, or say thank you when you do something specifically for him?

My dh does not, and he is also really sucky at expressing his emotions and he never ever hands out compliments. I am so crazy head over heels in love with him, but I am so tired of not being appreciated. I do nice things for him alllll the time, Im a sahm so Its my job to cook the meals and keep the house organized and clean and I also homeschool, we have 3 kids and I'm 32 weeks pregnant. I have tried telling him that I need to feel appreciated and that I need a compliment once in a while, and when I tell him he will say oh yeah thanks for cleaning the house. And that's the extent of it and it never feels sincere he says it with sarcasm... I'm sick of asking him to appreciate me, I'm sick of not feeling appreciated. I feel like he takes me for granted and all the things I do for him. Im just soo tired of it! And being a hormonal emotional pregnant woman isn't helping matters at all, and I know it. So what can I do to help him get the picture?! Like I said I love him to death and I am completely committed to him %100 and he has so many excellent qualities and so many things that I adore about him, I just need him to improve a little in this area because it's my love language, I feel the most loved when I feel appreciated. How can I help him really understand that?
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by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 3:24 PM
Replies (21-30):
trinazf8
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 12:14 AM
Well at least he married you. I can't get that. I know this isn't productive but I just stopped doing stuff Above and beyond the absolute necessary things.I lovemy guy and am committed But i decided ill be better off at work. Because you can't change people. But you can change your circumstances.
clasater
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 12:22 AM
1 mom liked this
*update*

I swear he either read my mind or logged into my cm and read this post, or maybe he just randomly remembered that he should
appreciate me today? I don't know, but not only did he tell me that the house looked great and thanked me for making him his favorite cookies and a special lunch when he got home from work, he also told me that I'm beautiful! :) more then I ever expected to be honest, but man it felt so good to hear those things! A compliment and appreciation all in the same day! I'm super proud of him, and I let him know how much I appreciated it! :)
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MamaSince2005
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 12:30 AM
Ugh, my dh used to be the same way until i broke down many times over the course of 3 months or so. I couldn't take it anymore. Anything he ever said to me was negative. He never said anything positive, therefore i was never really happy. I would clean the house, but he would always find something i didn't do right or find something to nag me about. I finally Told him that saying all the negative things makes me not even want to try or do anything b/c i always felt that i wasn't good enough anyways, so why try? I made him realize that if he gave me compliments or thanked me for doing something then it would make me feel good and happy and I would want to do it for him all the time.
Now he comes home and he would say, "the house looks good, baby!"
Stuff like that. He doesn't really complain much anymore about the way i do things, as long as i do them. Seriously, it gets on my nerves when he tries to control exactly the way i need to do something. I tell him, if he wants it done his way, he can do it himself. so it's not even an issue anymore.

It's all about communication. And if your dh really cares about how you feel, he will make an effort to change.
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katamike
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 12:38 AM

 Dh will usually tell me the house looks good if it is super clean, or he will say how good supper was, and just thank you for little things. Dh is a man of few words when it comes to the household. His mom was/is a true housewife, cooking,cleaning,sewing, baking, all the normal housewife things,so he is used to those things being taken care of, but he does give me compliment once in a while so i am thankful for that.He never ever nitpicks me. and if the house gets messy from an overload of stuff from that day, i dont hear anything about that either! he is very understanding !

baileymarie723
by Silver Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 10:47 AM
Most of the time he notices, but he is a man so he doesn't notice everything.
ashmac03
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 10:50 AM

My husband is really good about letting me know how much he loves and appreciates me.  I don't really know what to tell you since my husband has always been this way.  The only thing I can say is to just talk to him and let him know how you feel.  

just_hc
by Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 10:53 AM

I've been married for 14 years.  I've just come to realize that just because he doesn't say it doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate it.   He's just no good at expressing it.   But yes, at times I feel unappreciated.  We both work full time but I"m the one who comes home and cooks, cleans, runs kids.  He just has to relax and watch TV.

iheartmiboys
by Candy on Oct. 10, 2012 at 12:17 PM
Yes he does
Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:30 AM

My sympathies,I have the same problem,it's aggravating,BUT,my husband isn't critical,that would make me nuts. Maybe you need to tell him you are not going to do all those nice things unless you get a sincere thank you once in a while,and he stops criticizing.

ashbrydio
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:28 AM
I'm also a sahm that's our job mommy. We can't get all we want but I know he loves me alot and does appreciates.me even though he doesn't say it.
U'll be ok just relax.

He loves you :)
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