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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Having a hard time forgiving him after his infidelity

Posted by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 12:42 AM
  • 41 Replies

 My boyfriend cheated on me with a girl back in December for months until the girls sister found me on face book and asked me about him why did I have pix of me and him if we're not together Only for her to know that we never broke up. The girl never inboxed me herself because she knew I knew nothing about her. long story short, I broke up with him then found out I was pregnant. He constantly asked me to give him another chance but I couldn't I was too hurt and being pregnant I didn't wanna stress anymore then I already was. About a month later me and him went to my prenatal appointment and found out that my baby no longer had a heartbeat. I ended up having to get a D&C. He stayed a few nights with me then I told him to leave I just couldn't deal with us at that moment. about a month 1/2 later He asked me out to dinner I went. A few more dates later he basically spilled his heart out pleading for me to forgive him and start fresh And I did. But I always found myself thinking about him cheating on me. and wondering If was or Is talking to this girl still. So I constantly brought her up and he kept saying he wasn't talking to her he know he messed up and he doesn't wanna do anything to lose me again. But my women's intuition told me he was lying so I took it upon myself to call her to only find out he told her he was in love with me always has been and she See's that and blah blah blah. I'm not gonna lie I felt bad for the girl after talking to her and wish I never called her. I see a change In him but I still can't forget about what he did. I think about It everyday. But I know I don't wanna be without him. my mom tells me If I wanna be with him I gotta look forward and stop looking in the past because Its not healthy. I try but I'm still very very VERY hurt. so I don't know what to do. I try to push him away but he says he can't let me walk away. It seems like he realized he messed up and tries so hard to fix it but Im always bringing what he did up. I feel like he ruined us by what he did and as hard as he tries and as much as I want us to get back to how we were Im always gonna think about what he did :(

by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 12:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mom_of_one_2010
by Bronze Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 12:45 AM
Let it go, it will be hard but stop bringing her up
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quebecer
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 8:44 AM

*Hugs* How long were you dating before he cheated? 


schatzi869
by Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:03 AM
Your mom is right.
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4kings1queen
by Bronze Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:14 AM
This what youre going through is a normal phase. I can tell you that you really need to try to not talk about it. Tell him you
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tjane3000
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:19 AM
1 mom liked this

Your mom is right. If you can't let it go, and i don't blame you, you will never move forward. You will always have that resentment towards him. If it were me i would let him go and move on to a relationship i could feel really secure in. I don't give second chances. If you really love him though, you need to get passed it and try to trust him again. Ppl can change, i do believe that, i just don't ever want to be at the expense when finding out someone didn't.  GL i hope you get the answers your looking for.

4kings1queen
by Bronze Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:19 AM
Sorry i hit send too soon...but tell him you need help forgiving him and that it may take some time to forgive him. Its someth ing you both have to want.
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2lilmamas
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:21 AM
Best to do is give it time. You need time to heal. You are still very hurt. You feel betrayed. Let him earn his way back to your heart. He loves you enough he will wait and do what it takes to get things right between you two.
BloodyAngel7476
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:23 AM

i agree with this

Quoting tjane3000:

Your mom is right. If you can't let it go, and i don't blame you, you will never move forward. You will always have that resentment towards him. If it were me i would let him go and move on to a relationship i could feel really secure in. I don't give second chances. If you really love him though, you need to get passed it and try to trust him again. Ppl can change, i do believe that, i just don't ever want to be at the expense when finding out someone didn't.  GL i hope you get the answers your looking for.


muisjes
by Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:26 AM

once a cheater, always a cheater, imho...

As I read from your story, he only fessed up 'cuz he was caught... And he'll do it again if he sees the chance... even is he claims to only luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuv you.

I don't do second chances.

ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:27 AM
3 moms liked this

This isn't just about him. You have double grief going on, grief for your shared baby and grief for your relationship. This is going to be a double hard road for you, dealing with both the infidelity and the loss of a child. Every time you see him, I'm sure you are reminded of the baby as well. You would likely benefit from grief counseling, not just relationship counseling. He doesn't deserve full trust immediately, but if you want it to work with him you are going to have to give him a chance and work through the emotional issues you both share as well. I'm sure he carries guilt, not just for what he has done, but for the baby too.

Good luck.

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