SHOULD I BE WORRIED?

[bellebear]

Fiance goes to visit son alone with ex at her house. Me and my daughters and our son are not aloud. When he goes to see him he wont answer his phone or call me. Only text. I mean after he has been there for awhile, when its time to pick him up. He usually takes car himself but if I need the car I drop him off and pick him up. He makes me wait around even if I have important plans such as dropping my daughter off to dads. He knows how upset. the whole thing makes me feel. How me and kids are left out of the picture. I feel awful that I have done a lot for that little boy. Got to know him 4 yrs. He has a baby brother who loves him and cant see him 2 step daughters that miss him. He has leukemia and its been little over month it could be a yr before we see him. I have been very supportive. Just think my Fiance could show some care knowing how his ex is making his son think that none of us are important to him. I feel stupid when he makes me wait in driveway and don't answer his phone. We send our love like buying gifts writing notes. We ask Fiance to let him know what we have to say. But we don't know for sure if he gives him messages. He never says anything back. Fiance don't offer to call us when were not there. Went to pick up Fiance yesterday and he didn't come out, didn't answer his phone, I was late, so I went to the door. He was sitting on the couch with his ex ??? He makes me feel worse instead of better?? think I could also. Use a little support from him. Whats going on?his ex recently got married 2 months ago and he works a lot. Should I be worried? Should I still be supportive? Should I put my foot down? I'm confused.

[3xangel]

UM, yes you should be worried and you should've put your foot down A LONG TIME AGO. What he's doing is beyond disrespectful and straight up suspicious.

[unsuspected]

I don't know abou all the details you mentioned because frankly I can't make sense of it.

But you shouldn't get married, that's pretty clear.  

There are some big issues going on here with communication and respect, none of which will get any better by putting on a pretty dress and saying "I do".  Work this all out in a way that you both can deal with or move on because there's too much baggage here to build a solid marriage on.  

[nicole2884]

supportive i really dont think there is anything to it , except that he wants to spend one on one time with his son , show his son that even though mom an dad are not together they still get along i think thats nice 

[TommyAbby]

If he is in the first month of chemo, yeah, keep those kids away! That is the point when he is most vulnerable to pick up infections. I am sure they have a lot to talk about regarding care and doctors and what ifs of cancer care. I know. My son is now considered cured as of July this past summer after 6 yrs of cancer treatments for Leukemia. That first month, he was practically lived at Children's Hospital.  Between blood work, the drugs, required hospital stays..he may be there more than you would normally feel comfortable with. 

It's not an easy thing to go through. BE SUPPORTIVE. Him not answering his phone could be him giving his undivided attention to his son. Don't take things personally at this point in time. Let him process his child having cancer. 

[givenshl]

 What it seems is that with their son being ill it has brought them closer together. Their son has Leukemia. Right now no one else's feelings are going to really matter because they are trying to get through this difficult time.

You can't Control him. It's not going to work. Every time he goes over there you are wondering and worrying yourself mad. Girl bump that, you need to get a grip and realize this is something that may not change. If you choose to remain with in this relationship than you need to channel your energy on something else when it comes time for him to visit with his son.

[ReadWriteLuv]

I'm totally confused here.....can someone break this down so it makes sense?

[2lilmamas]

Quoting 3xangel:

UM, yes you should be worried and you should've put your foot down A LONG TIME AGO. What he's doing is beyond disrespectful and straight up suspicious.

[xoxRachelxox]

Does the ex not like you for some reason?

If she doesn't like you for whatever reason, maybe she doesn't want the added stress of having you around while she's dealing with having a sick child? I'm not saying it's right but if she doesn't like you, she has a right to not have you around when she is.

It sounds like you want to be supportive and are concerned for their child but if they don't want you around,  I don't know what you can do besides talk to him. Explain that you guys are concerned and love him too and just want to show support?

Good luck.

[rayroe2]

 He is spending long hours with his ex, ignores YOUR calls when with the EX doesn't tell what goes on..................I would def been bitching my ass off or finding a way to work through it or pack my crap and leave.

[Metteba]

aloud = allowed.

Be worried, be very worried. He's fuckin her and your his comfort zone. But, I think that you know what is happening...and trust me when you hear from his mouth, you will feel such betrayal. Just ask him and if he beats around the bush, all you can do is try to fix it, but something tells me he will not try to make it better.  God, I would not sit in no goddamn driveway, waiting on his ass...LOL.  I would be mobbing right next to him, if he gets mad, just ignore him and do what you gotta do.  BE STRAIGHT UP, MAMA....