~~~UPDATE~~~ My husband almost walked out on me last night.
This is a txt he sent me just now.
"I really love u a lot. I am sorry about last night. I will never do that to u or the kids again. I truly apologize and I love u"
This was my reply
"Aw babe. I love you too. More than you will EVER know. I never want to be without you. You are my rock. You're my world. You're my universe. I think that we should see a marriage counselor. I believe that a professional can help us and give us new ideas on how to handle stress. I know that you and I are meant to be together forever. I want help for myself because I need to be a better person all around. I dont think Im healthy, physically speaking.
What do you think?"
About the unhealthy physical talk, I've been having issues with what I believe are my ovaries. I am going to make zn appt to be seen because I have HPV and ovarian cancer runs in my moms side of the family. Just want to be cautious.
Our evening started just like any ordinary evening. I pick him up from work, we went to Walmart and came home. I am a SAHM and hubby works. He makes pretty decent money. Anyhow, on our ride home he is upset because our trip ended up costing $72. In the car he's saying how upset he is that he never has money for himself and all he is is a paycheck to us, ECT. Usually I bite my tongue and just listen to him rant but I got pissed at the "just a paycheck" comment. I spoke up saying something along the lines of its not true, we both made the decision for me to stay home with the kids while he worked, there's nothing I can do but ask him for money for things because I make $0. I asked him for $36 yesterday. $20 for my nails and $16 for our daughter to get her hair cut. (She got gum stuck in her hair.). Well, I should've just kept my mouth shut because I opened up a huuuge can of worms. He started ranting and raving about spending money and said some really fucked up shit about my mothering and how bad of a wife I am. He actually got so upset that he said he was leaving and taking our daughter with him. He told our 7 yr old daughter to pack some things for the night and give me and her brother one last hug. This was the most dramatic shit I have ever seen from him and for him to put our daughter thru it was, well, Im not happy about it. I ended up telling him that if he walked out we were over. I dont believe in separating or staying somewhere else for a night because you want to run away from the problem at hand. He asked me if I was serious and I looked him dead in the eye and said, " Yes". He still said he was going to leave, saying how bad I screwed up and that I can call my "man" and have him come over. WHAT?!? He was all over the place last night.
Fast forward an hour or so and he ended up not leaving and we talked. We talked about how we need to fix our relationship. We talked about a lot of things but Im to blame for everything. Im a horrible mother to our daughter because I treat our 1 yr old son better than her. Im a horrible wife because Im lazy and dont love my husband. Im just a horrible person all around. These are just a few things he said to me last night.
Can't believe I was this - - close to losing my world and he was going to take my princess with him. What a SHITTY night.