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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Any advice ladies???

Posted by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:38 PM
  • 7 Replies

So my bf and I had an arguement last night... It only lasted for about 5 mins. What gets me is that every time we argue he threatens to make me leave... I cant understand if someone loves you and wants to be with u then why would they tell u to leave???? After he cools down he says he doesnt mean it but I piss him off... He gets angry very easliy. I find his job to be the problem. He works in a prison so he is mean all day to these guys and he doesnt change when he is home. Anyone have any advice on this? Also.. We dont have any kids together, I have 2 daughters from a previous relationship. But we are tryin to have a baby.

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:38 PM
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Replies (1-7):
MIMI2700
by Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:14 PM

I'd say okay and I would find an apartment the next and move out.  Problem solved!  Better to do it now than after you have a baby with him.  I assume your girls aren't affected by the statement? 

mommieofII
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:22 PM


Quoting MIMI2700:

I'd say okay and I would find an apartment the next and move out.  Problem solved!  Better to do it now than after you have a baby with him.  I assume your girls aren't affected by the statement? 

They didnt hear him say it this time but they have heard him in the past.

PROGENITOR
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:22 PM

And why are you trying to have a baby with him?????

My dad worked in a prison. Yeah, he was a total prick all those years. After retirement your boyfriend will probably chill out. My dad treated us like prisoners, I mean we didn't listen or anything, but he tried.

IDK, I wouldn't be trying to have his kid. I'd want to be married first.


MMerrill
by Melissa on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:34 PM
1 mom liked this

You need to have a talk with him about saying out of the way things when he is mad and just because he works at a prison it isn't an excuse to act the same at home as he does at work.  We all do it from time to time, but he needs to learn to seperate work and home and just because you are mad that doesn't give anyone in any relationship the reason to yell, cuss, hurt or threaten someone.  Even if they are empty threats, they can hurt a relationship.  No matter how man my husband and I might get during a fight we would never say things like that because it's not ok!  Have a heart to heart with him or tell him next time he threatens you, that you WILL leave and see how he likes it.

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pittymama
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:39 PM

why are you trying to have a child with him? have you talked about getting some sort of counseling BEFORE a child, to get his anger under control? he needs to learn the difference between work and home. honestly, if he thinks you "piss him off" now, what does he think is going to happen when pregnancy hormones are raging?

ShannaBee
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:44 PM

Sit him down and tell him that when the two of you fight, the things he says hurts. Nobody should say anything out of anger because you live to regret it. He needs to learn techniques to calm down. He needs to learn to leave his job once his feet hit the threshold.

MomToovey
by Marianne on Oct. 11, 2012 at 10:21 PM

 The only real advice I can give you at this point is to hold off on the baby making until you're sure you can stay with him for the long haul. Other than that, I don't really know. Maybe counseling? But figure out your future with him first, then reconsider baby making after that.

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