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Unbalanced schedules. feeling let down....

Posted by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 7:48 AM
  • 9 Replies

overall i have a great relationship.   he is a great friend, great father,  fun guy to be around.   but this week has me at wits end.   our son is seven, he does karate and football.   dh insisted that ds also do football.   dh loves football and wanted to kindle the interest at a young age so that ds and him can bond over it.   so this week....  on monday i had to take ds to football (my week - he did last week)  then tuesday dh finds out some good news at work and his boss wants him to go to the bar (which is fine)  but dh got tipsy and fell asleep on the couch for most the night leaving all the nightly jobs to me.   wed he was suppose to take ds to karate.. but a friend called,  had to run an errand.   (fine.)   then thursday is fall festival at ds school.   starts at 5:30 ,,, dh is supposed to get cash and be home for it.  he forgot.   called him at 5:35 - hes still at work...  we go without him/   to me this is an insane amount of let-downs in a week.  and dh is making light of it.   kinda laughing at me.   i am totally pmsing -  so tell me... would you be mad?  he is normally an ace at doing his part.   we both work full time and i just feel like everything has been dumped on me and he needs to make up for it.  he thinks i am being dramatic.   what do you think?

by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 7:48 AM
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by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 7:58 AM
I'd be mad. That's bs for him to let you down so many times. It's also bs for him to expect your son to do karate and football but he doesn't help get him there. If he usually does help maybe he's just having a rough week. I'd talk to him about it and ask WTH. Lol I'd say look you've had your f off week and now it's time to get back to helping me. ;)
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by Alexandra on Oct. 12, 2012 at 8:00 AM

Most of this is work related, so you need to be flexible.  A regular income is extremely important especially in today's economy.

by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 8:23 AM

I would be angry if it was consistent like that. Of course I would.

by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 8:26 AM
I'd be mad since you said he is missing his normal routine. For me I wouldn't be mad at dh because of his schedule but I get pissed when he comes home at 4 in the morning, wakes me up for sex, then gets mad if I am too tired or just not in the mood. But my dh already misses a lot but it will slow down once we get to where we want to be in a few years.
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by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 9:13 AM

 I could see if this was something that went on all the time but just a slip up in a week, nope I wouldn't be so pissed about it.

by Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 9:16 AM
Id be frustrated but not mad.
As you've stated -this is not the norm.
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by Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 9:29 AM

I have told him next week he gets my bum deal to know how it feels.  he can run our son to every activity along with cooking all the meals.   i have work stuff that comes up too.   i would understand if it was once a week, twice in a week, but four days in a row has me mad about it.   i think he just needs to walk a mile in my shoes and then he wont mind doing what he is normally expected to do.

by Bronze Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 11:43 AM
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OMG I know exactly what you mean! I don't think you are being dramatic at all! My husband and I are going through pretty much the same thing right now. DH and I were always super close, and we get along amazingly. Our friends always ask us how we manage to get along as well as we do. We really are best friend and enjoy being around each other. Lately we just aren't connecting. We don't go to bed at the same time, we barely talk all day due to him not being able to have his phone at work (that's a new rule that I'm still not used to). Here's the problem. 

My husband loves football. He loves to coach football as well. Last year he coached a team that our son was on. It was his last year before moving up and my husband and the kids really got attached to one another. Fast forward to this year. As soon as sign ups start we begin getting calls, messages and one parent even came to our house begging my husband to coach again even though our son was moving up. Most of the kids didn't want to play for anyone other than my husband and I agreed because I had gotten close to many of the parents on the team and considered them friends. Then the team my son is on needed an assistant coach so of course DH volunteered. That puts him at football practice from 6:00-7:30 Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. He goes to the park straight from work so we don't see him. I don't go to the practices for his team, but my son has practice on Tuesday and Thursday so I go to those. But on Tuesday our daughter has cheer practice in another spot at the park so I have to so sit with her so we still don't see much of each other. 

Then we go to high school football games on Friday nights. My husband graduated from a small town and their whole class is still really close. Pretty much the town shuts down on Friday and EVERYONE goes to the game. So he spends most of his time talking to everyone over there.

Saturdays are game days. Our daughter cheers for DH's football team then our son usually plays a few hours later. We don't go home between games because the coaches ask that the players arrive an hour early for games so it doesn't pay to go home. When we get back home he watches college games, usually LSU. While that's happening I'm running around doing laundry and cooking and getting kids bathed. 

Sundays are spent getting any errands done (shopping, visiting family members, etc) or playing outside with the kids. And then when the Saints come on he's watching tv again. 

So add this in with the fact that he's on 24/7 call with work and that leaves little time for us to talk or do anything else. He likes certain shows on tv and by the time he gets home and we all eat and bathe I go to bed. He gets to bed about an hour later but I'm sleeping. We also have an exchange student living with us and he is about to join high school soccer. There's just more time that will be taken away but for once my husband will be able to sit in the stands with me rather than having to coach. 

by Gold Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 3:30 PM

If it is not normal for him then I wouldn't be mad. Monday had nothing to do wit him. Tuesday he was keeping his boss happy. Sometimes they hound on them if they don't "keep up" and if it isn't usually then every once and a while is fine. Wedneday he was helping a friend. Thursday, he forgot. Most men are not good at multitasking. I always have to call and remind mine of things so he won't forget. If it was too much of a burden, you could of just let ds skip practice one of those days. You also said you are pmsing, so some of that aggravating is probably steming from that. If he is as great as you say, I would let it slide. I am sure there are times he thought you were off your game as well.

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