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dh blaming me for everything that goes wrong with lo

Posted by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 1:15 AM
  • 17 Replies
Does anyone else's DH blame them when the lo cries? He says I don't give her medicine to help relieve her pain b/c my parents said not to. But its not true! I'm with our lo all day, I care of her so well and she's a very happy healthy baby, to the detriment of my own health. She's teething right now and is very fussy. He comes home and is with her for an hour and then tells me I don't care for her b/c I let her cry when she's in pain! It hurts me so much when he says these things. I try so hard to be a good mom. I love her so much I would die for her, we've been married for 7 years. How can he say these things? Does he not know me at all? Most of the time he's a great husband and father, but sometimes he's just so mean! He couldn't do what I do for even one day! Why does he act this way?!
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by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 1:15 AM
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by Kendall on Oct. 18, 2012 at 1:42 AM

Talk to him about it.  Tell him how much it bothers you.  Seriously though, there's only SO MUCH you can do as a parent.  It can break your very soul knowing that they are hurting and you've done all you can do.

He wouldn't have survived in our household.  DD had colic until she was a little over 3 months old.  Serious crying (almost screaming) for hours every single night.

by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 2:14 AM

Sorry I can't give any good advise for you because I was in a relationship where I got the blame for absolutely everything. To me that is mental abuse. So I wish you luck and hope someone can give you good advise. Maybe have him stay home for a day to see how he handles it. But even when I did that, xh still acted like I should do more when he couldn't handle. They tend to forget after a month of not doing it.

by Melissa on Oct. 18, 2012 at 7:38 AM

So your child cries because she is teething. Do you give her anything to help relieve the pain of it? Perhaps because he doesn't see it he doesn't believe you give her anything. What about orajel to numb her gums?? you can put that on while he watches and then he can't say you don't do anything. 

by Alexandra on Oct. 18, 2012 at 10:13 AM
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My husband has never talked to me that way and more importantly, he damn well knows I would never tolerate it! 

by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 11:01 AM

crying is part of having a baby, there isnt always a medication to make everything better, and theres no reason to blame you for it, if your doing everything within your means then there is no blame to be given

by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 11:07 AM
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It sou ss to me like he just doesn't understand what your baby is going through. An hour a day isn't really enough for him to understand she doesn't need to be constantly medicated. It seems like he also is upset that he can't make it better and wants to blame somebody for it. Try taking a few videos to show that your baby isn't crying all day. Teething babies are usually fussier in the evenings and it sounds like that's when your husband is seeing it. Talk to him about it.
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by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 11:45 AM

It sounds like he can't stand to hear her cry and he misplaces that sadness by taking it out on you in anger. Does that make sense?

by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 11:53 AM

 I am sorry I know how hard it is, I have a 16mth old. Maybe when he gets home take the baby for a walk, and then give a little tylenol(dr & books say a little is ok) my dh, says many thing I hope he doesn't mean. Just keep your calm, And be the best mom you can be!

by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 1:22 PM
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by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 5:36 PM

(Hugs!)  Sorry to hear DH is being so thoughtless and rediculous.  It's hard to hear a little one cry and not want to fix it, but he needs to realize there only so much you can do until teething ends.  Tell him how you feel and if he's so concerned, maybe he should read up on teething and come up with some other ideas on how to handle it.  Sadly, a lot of guys think they can fix something without having all the info (not unlike driving and not asking for directions or using a gps.. lol)  Good luck!

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