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How do you handle your husband voting for the other guy?

Posted by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 1:58 PM
  • 17 Replies

How Not to Kill A Spouse Who's Voting For the Other Guy

Posted by Kiri Blakeley on November 5, 2012 

This election has been a contentious one with the candidates holding opposite views on important issues ranging from abortion and birth control to healthcare to taxes. It’s been hard enough seeing some Facebook friends’ updates with their cheering on the “other guy.” Imagine living with someone cheering on the “other guy”! From women this year I've often heard the sentiment that any man voting for a man wanting to control her vagina is not getting near her vagina. Which could be tough on a relationship, for sure. So how to get through the election without killing each other?

Most of us probably don’t want to cut loose a partner over a political belief, even one incredibly important to us, when we’ve already built a life together. Or maybe we just love our guy or gal for a host of other reasons besides their political stances and are willing to overlook their boneheaded convictions (at least on non-election years). I asked some of my friends about being in a relationship with someone voting for the "other guy." Here's some of their solutions:

- Ignore, ignore, ignore. "I've come to the conclusion that it's just best not to discuss politics anymore -- when I do, I try to ignore his response. There has been a lot of battles over the years!!"

- Avoid the topic. "I don't talk politics with anyone, even hubby! It's easier this way. He'll get on his rants sometimes, but I just ignore it."

- Break-up. "In 2008, I was in a relationship with a registered Republican while actively working to elect Obama. When he ultimately decided not to vote for McCain (and worse, Palin) and I said I was relieved because the other option would have been a deal breaker for me, he thought I was kidding. I wasn't."

- Respect the other viewpoint -- even if it kills you. "My hubby votes for the "other guy" and we do have the occasional disagreement about hot topics like Occupy Wall Street and universal healthcare, but in general we just steer clear of talking politics. We each respect the other person's point of view, which is important. I think that's one of the reasons we've stayed married!"

Did I say avoid? "He does have a few issues with Romney's platform, but I try hard to avoid talking with him about it because I don't want to have a disagreement with him. If a relationship ends because of how you vote, then it is likely that it wasn't a relationship to have, period."

So there you have it, folks. Most couples seem to agree that the best solution to this particular martial issue is the same as the solution to a lot of martial issues. And that solution is ... silence.

Want more inspiration? Here's a family politically divided making it work:


How do you handle your husband voting for the other guy?

by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 1:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 2:11 PM
Oh this is us! I'm voting for Romney and DH is voting for Obama:)
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by Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 2:12 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think I could handle it.  I feel very strongly about my candidate and would be extremely disappointed in my partner if they did not have the same values and priorities as I.

by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 3:03 PM

i dont care who my husband votes for.  everyone has their right to vote.  i know who im voting for is all that matters. as long as he still loves me im fine with whomever he votes for.

by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 3:05 PM

 I don't think I could handle this.  DH and I haven't disagreed on an election fact he usually asks me who "we're" voting for before he heads to the polls.

by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 3:09 PM

We're a "house divided".  :)  It's not that big of a deal.  We don't talk politics much - I suppose we agree to disagree.  He comes from a much more conservative background, and I was brought up in a little more liberal family...though both of our sets of parents were missionaries.  It is what it is, I suppose.  We just don't let it cause a problem.

by Bronze Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 3:13 PM

I ignore everything that he has to say about politics and i dont express my views at all. 

by Casey on Nov. 5, 2012 at 3:45 PM

We don't discuss politics in our home. It's a rule we both happily live by.

by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 4:09 PM

I would have never married someone who did not share the political beliefs as me. I think I have picked the canidate who best fits my values and beliefs and I think it is important to be with someone who shares those with me. 

by Bronze Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 4:16 PM

The voting process is supposed to be secret.  If you don't want to talk about who you vote for, don't.  If it causes problems, either choose to not talk about it or deal with it.  If the relationship ends over who one person is voiting for, the relationship was likely doomed anyway. 

by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:00 AM

 My husband and I are voting for different candiates tomorrow but it's not a big deal in our house. We share similar views on a lot things just a few things are different but they do not affect our daily life.

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