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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Want a divorce

Posted by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 4:45 PM
  • 19 Replies
I'm needing to vent with advice please bare with me......

So Im married with 3 kids for 5 yrs now but I know for sure this marriage is over but I'm too scared to leave I'm afraid he might take my kids or do something... He's always been verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive to me and our kids and when he goes on a discipline rage he goes to the extreme... I just had to leave my job because he had a heart attack and our sitter went back to school it's only been a month and already he's in my ass that I'm not doing anything that its my fault that I'm not getting a job im too stupid so people doesn't want to hire me etc... It doesn't help either that we live with his WHOLE family and his mom boyfriend who is a druggie and got kicked out for it that doesn't have a job as well. But I get the shity end of the stick .. Im expected to have house cleaned dinner done and everything set with the kids I have a great opportunity in another state with my mom she is willing to help me with the kids and there's a bigger chance of getting a job out there I want to leave with my kids but not even sure where to start.. I'm willing to do 50/50 with him but I need out.... He's even told me he wants a divorce but that there's no way in hell ill see my kids and one if them is not even his... I need out and my kids can't be stuck in this unhappy dark environment... I'm losing it!!!!! I'm willing to wait until after the holidays because my son is in football and is very happy that they are undefeated at this moment or at least until after their awards ceremony. I'm am over and not sure where to begin.. I'm too scared to talk to him he likes to hit things and throw and explode even if the kids are around it gets so bad my kids start to cry and tell thirt dad to stop yelling
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by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 4:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
TommyAbby
by Melissa on Nov. 5, 2012 at 4:49 PM
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First off.. Document every instance of abuse.. take pics...talk to an attorney. and MOVE. Just take the kids and go. come back for your stuff with the help of the police. He can't just take your kids away and a judge would be stupid to let him have them with the history of abuse and drug use in the house. Good Luck


Purple_Stars12
by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 4:56 PM
I have documented text messages and pic... But it's hard to try and talk to an attorney when he monitors almost everything in my life I can't even go pee without him asking what I'm doing... And the phone I'm using he's a primary account holder it's a difficult situation
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nlc75
by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 5:02 PM
Go now. If the one child isn't yours you may never see the child again. But I would if you left consult with child protective services so that child would not be left in such a situation. And yes document every thing, every word and every action! My lawyer told me during my divorce (I'm from mi) a mother could be a drug addict but if she can take care of her children, if the are well fed, clothed, clean and happy, she wouldn't loose them. And depending where you are there may be places like a shelter for you to go that will take in and help mothers and children of abuse.
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TommyAbby
by Melissa on Nov. 5, 2012 at 5:13 PM
1 mom liked this

Seriously.. go out for a "job interview" grab the kids from school and leave. 

have your mom grab some clothes from the good will for your kids for a few days and then get out. 

ebmb03
by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 5:20 PM

I would start by saving some money for bus tickets or if your mom could pay for them even better.  In the meantime, start packing suitcases and hiding them in a place no one knows about.  Then i would wait until everyone is gone or asleep and leave.  As for your son, I would talk to him and explain that you have to get out, unless you want to sacrafice your safety and that of your other children.  I would then move out of the state and start over.  If he comes looking for you and tries to take your kids, call the cops. 

biancalina20
by Bianca Lina on Nov. 5, 2012 at 6:00 PM
Hey. I had a marriage that was like that and worse. It took me a full year + to leave after the abuse started. I felt like it was impossible to leave and I was scared. I used my family's help and finally got out though. I know its hard but think about the kids and do whats best for you all. If your mom can help then take her up on that help. Document everything. Thats what I did. He wont be able to just take your kids away. Hes trying to scare you. Do what you have to do. I left after a long time but trust me , the sooner the better. When I left , I lost evrything and I am still rebuilding everything up. I have a dd as well. Its hard but not impossible. Good luck.
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Purple_Stars12
by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 11:17 AM
No all the kids are mine there is one that is not his my oldest but he doesn't know of his other biological father he only knows my husband... My mother is willing to come pick us up but the thing is she lives on Las Vegas I'm in Cali would I get in trouble for leaving him with the kids wouldn't it be considered kidnapping?
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ctaylor1211
by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:27 PM

NO because there is no custody order in place.  You have just as much right to those kids as he does which means he could take em and leave too.  Just make sure you attend your court dates once you file for divorce

ceo-mom
by on Nov. 6, 2012 at 12:42 PM
Leave asap
Hottmomma607
by Trica on Nov. 6, 2012 at 1:19 PM
Get connected with friends, family! Know your rights! And don't be afraid to go forward! Good luck!
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