Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How much time do you spend... (Update new question)

Posted by   + Show Post

How much time do you spend away from DH on average? I'm having this huge problem right now with DH never being home and when I bring it up, he says that he needs time away from me. Yet, i'm the one working and pregnant and taking care of the house, so what does he have to complain about? I want time away from him too, but he is never here, or he's here for two minutes then runs off.

He even said these exact words "Married couples don't spend time together."

I said "Yes, they do. I know plenty of couples that do."

His response "Then they are doing something wrong."

Seriously? So how much time apart do ya'll spend, and does it work for both of you?

 

UPDATE: So, I wanted to elaborate because I was getting questions about how my husband acts. I have no problem with him getting guy time away from me. I know I like my time to myeslf or time with girls, BUT here is how my life has been lately. DH doesn't think it's necessary to spend a day with me, or much uninterrupted time at all. He is constantly at a friend's house, doing something for them or hanging out or whatever. Meanwhile, he's jobless and has been for awhile. I can't get him to put in serious effort towards getting one and bills are piling up. I got a job to add a supplemental income, not a main. I work part time and am 26 weeks pregnant and going through college. I take care of the house and errands, and handle finances. He does...basically nothing any more. It's gone very far down hill. When he does say he'll do something, like go to the store today for example, I find him later at his friend's having not even gone in the first place.

We do communicate. Or, I try, I should say. I bring it up all the time. One time he told me "nothing he does is good enough for me anymore and I don't act like I want to be married." But it's hard to act like it and not get pissed when he's never here. He's not my husband, he's my roommate who occassionally eats with me (to a point) and I have sex with at times. I can't even get him to come to bed to cuddle or just lay with me and talk. He comes to bed around 2-5 am every morning. By then I'm sleeping, obviously, since I work at 6am.

What can I do to make him understand? I've even brought up that I'm afraid of raising the baby alone because he's never here now, much less when Zoey is born. He thought I was just being unreasonable. RIght now, we can't afford counciling and my insurance won't cover it, but soon I'm switching and it will. Until then....help?!?

by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 5:31 PM
Replies (51-60):
mommieofII
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:33 PM

Well we live together so we just spend out working hours away... When my bf needs some time alone he will just go in another room or when we are arguing he wil do that same. We dont believe leavin the home upset

TattooedMomto4
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 3:55 PM

 We are mostly only apart when he is at work. We spent a lot of years apart because of his work schedule but since he became a mail carrier we have preferred to spend his non-working hours together. He some times putters around in the garage or goes fishing but if he goes fishing he does that on his days off before I even wake up.

GatorsWife4Life
by Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 4:32 PM
We are apart when he is at work and that's it. we genuinely hate being apart. I would have to find out why he doesn't want that alone time and go from there. good luck.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
xoxRachelxox
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 5:22 PM

We are always together. When he's not working, he's home. He doesn't have anyone to hang out with after work. Even if he did, it would be a once in a while thing and certainly not a nightly thing. I'd even be okay with a weekly thing.

I am always home. I do go out with my girlfriends on occasion to wine tasting, pampered chef parties amd those types of parties. That's about it though.

Mudfishzgirl
by Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 5:23 PM
We are apart while he is at work and his hours vary and occasionally he brings me with him.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Chaoz_Girl7311
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 6:23 PM
We are apart from 630am- about 5 maybe 6 at the latest, everyday during the week. On weekends were together sunrise to sunset doing things with the girls or just our DD when SD is with BM.
metzeli
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 6:30 PM

we spend time together in the mornings and on my days off we are apart when I work. But we do spend time together. We are in a rough patch too so for him  to think that married ppl spend all their time apart is nuts

clz0213
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 7:48 PM
Yeah it didn't used to be like that. Its crazy.


Quoting metzeli:

we spend time together in the mornings and on my days off we are apart when I work. But we do spend time together. We are in a rough patch too so for him  to think that married ppl spend all their time apart is nuts


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
jonsgirl99
by Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 10:04 PM

I spend every day with my hubby, he works evenings. I sometimes take an hour or two with friends. But 90% of the time we are together. And we have been together 4 years and married 2.

mrsfitz05
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 10:14 PM
My dh travels for work and we both hate it. Before he started that, we spent very little time apart. We work for the same large company. We drove to and from work together, ate lunch together, didn't every evening together. We aren't your average couple, I know that, but it makes us happy.

We've been married 7 years, together more than 10.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)