Are These Fighting words?

[Alustriel]

 I need all of your opinions. Hubby and I are having a disagreement.....lol 

[beeky]

That depends on who you are talking to and the context of the conversation.

[Alustriel]

Quoting beeky:

That depends on who you are talking to and the context of the conversation.

Here is the scenario. You and someone else,husband/wife/SO are talking. That person told you one thing but appeared to be doing another. You say in an asking tone I thought it wasn't that way? They ask what are you getting at? You say well it appears it is that way. They say ok. You say well I feel like I've been lied to. Fight begins. That's the jist of it.

[beeky]

 

I can see how that would put someone on the defensive.  Either because they are offended or actually lying.   

Quoting Alustriel:

Quoting beeky:

That depends on who you are talking to and the context of the conversation.

Here is the scenario. You and someone else,husband/wife/SO are talking. That person told you one thing but appeared to be doing another. You say in an asking tone I thought it wasn't that way? They ask what are you getting at? You say well it appears it is that way. They say ok. You say well I feel like I've been lied to. Fight begins. That's the jist of it.

[furbabymum]

 I guess that would depend on the type of thing you were discussing. For years I thought my DH loved a particular food I made. Come to find out he doesn't mind it but it's not his favorite and he'd prefer something else. I totally felt like I'd been lied to. It was more of an amusing lie though, not something we'd fight about. It was something we'd laugh about.

So, again, it would depend.

Quoting Alustriel:

Quoting beeky:

That depends on who you are talking to and the context of the conversation.

Here is the scenario. You and someone else,husband/wife/SO are talking. That person told you one thing but appeared to be doing another. You say in an asking tone I thought it wasn't that way? They ask what are you getting at? You say well it appears it is that way. They say ok. You say well I feel like I've been lied to. Fight begins. That's the jist of it.

 

[mustloveanimals]

Should they be? Probably not. But are they? Yes. If you want to say that, rephrase into something like, "I must have misunderstood but I thought you said this.....but you seem to be doing this...."

[Alustriel]

Thanks ladies! I appreciate the opinions and input. You all make great points!

[Melissa0741]

Your description of the scenario is very vague and I don't think it's really a yes or no question. It could go be different depending on the conversation.

[Jess0915]

I've said similar words and they don't really lead to a fight anymore, at most just a disagreement. My husband and I have come to the realization that we speak totally different languages, lol. Things can be misunderstood and taken the wrong way sometimes and we find that very helpful words (to save us from a fight) are: "Oh, I thought you meant_______, but I guess I heard you wrong". And also the phrase "I said that wrong, I can understand why you thought I meant____, but what I really meant was______".

It's seems tedius and it's a little odd at first, but we have never gotten along better than when we realized this about ourselves. Anywho, I guess those would have been fighting words had one of us said them a year ago, but now, they're not. :)

Quoting Alustriel:

Quoting beeky:

That depends on who you are talking to and the context of the conversation.

Here is the scenario. You and someone else,husband/wife/SO are talking. That person told you one thing but appeared to be doing another. You say in an asking tone I thought it wasn't that way? They ask what are you getting at? You say well it appears it is that way. They say ok. You say well I feel like I've been lied to. Fight begins. That's the jist of it.

[la_bella_vita]

 It would depend on the situation.

[MomToovey]

 I completely agree.

Quoting beeky:

 

I can see how that would put someone on the defensive.  Either because they are offended or actually lying.