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Does DH get angry/upset with you if you're not in the mood?

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So many things going on in our marriage and this is one of them. It's been an ongoing thing for I would say 6 years now (married 8). We have a 3 yr old and 10 month old twins whom I take care of all day while he works full time. He works from home and when he's bored or wants a break he often comes see me and let's me know he's in the mood. The thing is, I'm changing diapers all day and wiping food and boogers haha and it's hard for me to snap out of that mommy mode and be all lovey dovey with him. There's also other issues going on between us and my sex drive is just going down because of it. Point is, I can't say no. Because when I say I'm not in the mood right now, he gets pissed off. He won't say it's because of that but he'll ignore me and the kids the rest of the day or night because he's frustrated. I've tried everything from being nice about it and saying: how about we really make time for each other tonight. He just doesn't care about that because he wants it now. And how much? Uhm all the time. Almost every day. Not sex alone but all the other things that men want. Can't he understand that with three kids around all day he can't just get what he wants all the time? If anything, he shouldn't get mad at me. That's not fair. Especially when I do everything at home. Household and kids and then expects me to in the mood all the time. Oh and if I'm not in the mood, sometimes ill pretend just to make him happy but he kinda knows from my attitude that I'm not. He'll still complain because I'm not showing enough affection or I'm not into him enough. Really? 

Anyone same issue?

by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 11:10 AM
Replies (21-30):
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 9:27 PM

no because he wont quite till i cave in so to speak. he knows my spots  deosnt matter if im sleeping infact  thats his favorite thing to do is wake me up for sex. probably why i got 4 freaking

by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 9:28 PM
Yes he throws a temper tantrum and then does the whole guilt trip on me....and I have yet to find out what the real deal is.
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 9:42 PM

Thanks ladies. I do think he feels rejected sometimes. But I've told him that's not what I'm doing, Just because I don't wanna have sex right now doesn't mean I don't want you. I always say we can do it tonight but then he gets in a bad mood right away because he thinks ill be too tired or fall asleep before we even get to it. But just by him getting mad I'm already done with the whole thing. He ruins it for himself. The worst is when I cave in to avoid a fight or a bad mood all day and we'll do it quickly but the kids r like crying in the living room. Even then, if i say, let's check on the kids, he gets upset. It's just ridiculous. And it's not like I never want to do anything. I always please him, all the time, almost every day whether its sex or pleasing him. Every freaking day with 3 kids under 3 who need constant attention is just too much. I can't keep up with it all!! 

by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 11:36 PM

Yes.  I am actually going through that right now.  He constantly makes me feel guilty for his mood swings because I'm never in the mood enough for him.  

by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 1:15 AM

Been there, done that, bought lots of T-shirts... Not proud of that either. Our relationship has gone sour, though. I understand what you are going through. I don't think that women should have to snap into sex kitten mode the moment Mr. Man wants to jump in the sack. I also don't think men should get pissed off when the wife says not right now! Mine gets mad and I rarely say no! Now that things are taking a turn for the worst on my end, I think it's easier for me to say no and get over it, but I think maybe having a sit down talk about your situation and the crap (literally) you put up with throughout the day makes it extremely hard for you to cater to his sexual needs and that he needs to respect that, just like you have respected his sexual wishes in the past.

by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 8:45 PM

No, that may be because my sex drive has been off the charts he has actually told me no, or not now.

by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 8:58 PM


by Amy on Nov. 18, 2012 at 2:47 AM

No my hubby would never get upset, he is the understanding type, but then again he never has to worry since I am always in the mood and can never get  enough!

by Silver Member on Nov. 27, 2012 at 11:52 AM
Nope because 9 times out of 10 I am in the mood. He is not in the mood more often than I am, lol.
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by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 12:00 PM


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