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So I need sum advice

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 1:23 PM
  • 5 Replies
Hi everyone. My names Johnna I am a single mother of 4. Have been for 6 yrs now. Aside from the few babydaddys n relationships ive had over the yrs. I met a guy 6mo ago. Weve had a long distance over the phone relationship for the whole 6mo. He is everything I couldve ever wantd n mo. He has been there fo me n my kids emotionally and financaily. I am inlove wit him. Like the kind of love u didnt no u could have fo another person inlove. Heres where the trouble cums n I have made sum choises n ny past that he doesnt approve of. Im the kind of women he would have ever seen himself with. But he fell inlove wit me too. Now about 4 days ago he told me that he loves me but there to much n my past for him to deal wit. Ive tried to jus let it be. 2 nites ago he calls at 2am. I calld rite bak no answer. Hes a fire fighter so I txt to make sure nothing happend. I txtd said r u ok. He replies no my hearts broke. I miss my kids. I reply I no vurbu desided this n the miss u to been askin bout u. No response so I txt yd u call me. He replies sry wont happen again. I reply I was jus tryna b there fo u stop bein nasty to me (hes good fo that when hes mad) he replied saidbit was ny fn fault. I replied I didnt do it n stop bein nasty to me. No reply. I tried to call no answer. I txt said it was sum bs he calld woke me up was nasty to me n ignored me all I was tryin to do was b there fo him. No reply. Not talkin to him is driving me crazy n killn me not eatn n a bad mood all the time. Any advice? Thanks
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by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 1:23 PM
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by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 1:32 PM

Let him go, if he doesn't love you enough to let your past stay your past, then he isn't the one.  Also if he is gonna play mind games, you really don't need him.  Consider dating someone local hon.  I would just delete him from my contacts & move on.  Don't answer his messages or calls.  I know it will be hard, but you need someone who will accept & love all of you, not pick & choose then say that bits of you are unlovable.  We all make mistakes, none of us are perfect, how dare he judge you & then decide he only loves part of you.  You deserve better.

by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 1:48 PM

let it go, he has obviously made his decision, an you cant go on living you life hoping he will come back

when you love someone nothing else matters

i had a colorful past when i met dh, an he could not have cared less, he was smitten an he didnt care about one thing in my past, an he would never be nasty to me, even when he is mad at me he remains even tempered about it

good luck

you deserve a man who isnt going to judge you 

by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 1:58 PM

First off, 6 months is not that long.  Seriously.  Thinking that this is the end all be all after only 6 months is ridiculous.  It's something I would expect to hear from a teenager.  You have four babies to think of.  Hell, if I were a single parent it would have taken me 6 months of solid dating to even bring the guy into my child's life.

Second, what the others are saying; let him go.  Focus on yourself and your kids and your life, and love will find you.  If he can't accept you for things in the past, things that no matter what you do will never change or go away, then that's HIS issue.  If you manage to pull him back you've set the couple dynamic as negative.... you're relationship will be just a bunch more of this; he'll start thinking about the past, get angry with you, get distant, make you feel guilty and like shit, you'll fight to get him back because you think he completes you, he'll reluctantly agree, settle in for a time... then start thinking about the past again.

by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 3:00 PM

 Ummm...I really could not understand some of what you were saying, but I can say if he is going to bring up your past than your relationship with him will never be safe plus why be with someone that be "nasty" to you. Don't you think you deserve better than that? Don't you think your kids deserve their mother to be respected?

Your mood should be in your Control, not his.

by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 3:14 PM

Maybe you should try being single for a while? It doesn't seem like you're meeting the right guys. Take time for yourself and your kids.

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