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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

i have a question about sexting?? Information added to why i asked. need advice!!

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Do u think sexting is cheating if you seen that your df was sexting another girl???

Info on why I asked!

I have been with df for 3 years now and this isn't the first time. I am not a jealous person and don't mind him having girl friends as I have guy friends. I had completely trusted him. I have been having a bad feeling lately and so I went through his phone which is a first and found it in some kik messenger thing. She told him I wanna lay next to you and stick my hand in ur boxers and he said oh yeah and do what? And she replied with play with ur dik and he said he would love that.... well there was a lot more but I couldn't read it so I put his phone back down and started to cry. I am the mother to his year old twins which he did the same thing when I was pregnant except was stupid to do it on a social network that I was his friend on and he now denies that ever happening. I am pregnant with our third and feel like this is all my fault. I don't know what to do but all my trust is gone and I don't trust him on his phone anymore. He is very secretive anyways. I am afraid to tell him cause I feel I betrayed him by going through his phone but also he betrayed me and is still doing. Idk what to do and I'm super hurt. I really need advice.


Sorry for it being long,i hope it made sense and sorry if I spelt anything wrong I am mobile. I just need advice.

Thanks in advance ladies!
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by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 4:51 AM
Replies (51-58):
KyrinM
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:41 AM

Sexting is one of those gray areas, it could be just for fun & have no meaning, or emotions could be involved.  Either way it isn't good, because it is an intimate connection with someone other than your partner, even if you aren't physical in person, it still involves some kind of emotional connection.  Which can in turn damage the one you have with your physical partner.  I would tell him that you need to talk to him about this.  Ask him honestly how he would feel if the tables were turned.  If you were the one fooling around in text with someone else & he were the one pregnant.  He needs to see your POV.  Personally I don't feel that his phone is private, you guys are in a commited relationship, there is no reason you shouldn't be allowed to look at his phone or him yours at any time.  Good luck, also if he tries to have a fit about you looking at the phone, remind him that sexting with some woman behind your back is a hell of a lot bigger betrayal of trust, so shut up Mister, you don't have a leg to stand on!

Redwall
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 7:42 PM

I don't think cheating is just a physical thing...yes, if he's "sexting" he's cheating.

LOVES67
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:13 PM
Absolutely...
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biancalina20
by Bianca Lina on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:46 PM

 Sexting = cheating

IMO

Fyrestar68
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:06 PM
It's not only cheating, it's disrespectful to you, your kids, and your relationship. He must have done something or is about to do something. I wouldn't stick around, if you can't trust him while you are pregnant...then you can't trust him when you're not. In my opinion, sorry, he's a pig.


Quoting crystalrbp:

Sure is. That would cause all kinds of problems, fast. If he's setting her there is probably a good chance they have already messed around or getting damn close to it. You don't just sext and think it means nothing.

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queencreekmom
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 8:22 PM

I'm so sorry you are going through this. :(  Good luck with whatever you decide to do. 

PartyGalAnne
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:29 PM

Your fault? The only thing that is your fault is that you let him get away with it the first time and didnot kick his ass to the curb then!


ara-myangel
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:32 PM
That is definitely cheating.
If he did it again, he may never change.
Sorry you're going through that :(
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