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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage
My mil is in the hospital and has been since November 5th due to back surgery and infections from the hospital. Last week my DH, her son, was asked to stay Saturday night and then again this past Saturday night. My DH is a repo agent and is not home at night from Sunday to Thursday. He sleeps in our bed with me on Friday night and Saturday. I have recently been out in a knee brace and can't get around good or do much. I'm at home with both of the boys, which help as much as they can but I feel bad for asking them. My question is, is it selfish of me to want my DH to be home with me and not spending the night at the hospital??

ETA: my husband stays at the hospital with his mom due to several issues she has had with the surgery. The family wants someone with her 24/7. She has stopped breathing twice at night and the nurses where paged several times before they came and my mil was not able to page them the person staying with her had to page them. We also live over an hour away from the hospital and with his job he's not able to go to the hospital during the week to visit with her.
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by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 9:50 AM
Replies (21-30):
thecoffeefairy
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:28 AM
He should be with his mom. She gave him life after all. That makes her top priority when she's truly in need. Remember, your boys will get married one day. How do you want to fit in their lives if something tragic happens to you?
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TS9509
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:48 AM
The boys and I go visit my mil on the weekends with DH and I go during lunch and taker her and whomever is staying lunch as well. I haven't said anything to him about staying with her bc I don't want him to feel like I'm making him pick. I really need him home as much as possible due to my injury and looking at surgery before the end of the month.
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ibelieveinpink
by Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:13 PM
Yes, I think so.
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StrawberryCool
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:17 PM

despite the issues we have with his mother, he wouldn't have a choice but to be with his mother!!!! 

unless of course his self centered sister was there. 

that is his mother, so yeah you are being selfish

Ksmomy
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 1:00 AM
I agree with this. Right now he's where he wants to be. Let him do what he feels needs to be done. It won't last forever. If you do have to have knee surgery I hope it goes well!


Quoting rnmom4lif:

to feel that way is not selfish but to act on it, like tell him u want him to stay home- yes i think that is. its his mother and shes in the hospital....its not like hes out partying. 


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Due9
by Bronze Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 1:34 AM

Yes, that is selfish. 

bmw29
by Bronze Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 1:36 AM

 A little bit. :/ His mother needs him and it's not a petty need it's an actual need. Suck it up and deal with him staying with her when needed.

Hottmomma607
by Trica on Nov. 20, 2012 at 4:26 AM
IMHO rather your husband or someone else they are not medical proffession so if anything happens God forbid what are they suppose to do? In the mean time I do think its hard to give your time of DH especially if you need him too! I think you should make sure he knows how you feel but also be understanding that his mom is in need.
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Krysden
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:12 PM

How many other people rotate with her?   I don't think it's selfish for you to want him home but this is a special circumstance.

TS9509
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:16 PM
6 ppl including my husband


Quoting Krysden:

How many other people rotate with her?   I don't think it's selfish for you to want him home but this is a special circumstance.


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