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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Would you let your DH visit with a female friend?

Posted by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:32 PM
  • 33 Replies

Okay, so before my DH and I used to go visit a mutual friend of ours. We usually would visit on this girl's break at her parents restaurant. (They don't allow her to go for a walk or anything like that.) I figured I would let my DH go visit her by himself because our DD likes to run around all the time and every time we visited our friend I was the one who ended up going outside with DD all the time. (My DH is better friends with her anyway.) Since I got tired of just being the babysitter I just decided that it was logical for my DH to go alone. I feel a bit jealous and worried though. About 8 months ago she told him that she used to like him. It's kinda stupid but I kept wondering why she felt the need to tell him that since he's married and all. I guess I'm just worried that she will like him again. Is that stupid? I know my DH has never liked her that way.

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by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
xoch86
by Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:36 PM
3 moms liked this

THAT is when I would have a problem with it.. If they are just friends, fine.. Bt this female clearly had feelings for ur DH, and that could lead to trouble. Just because he doesn't want her , doesn't mean SHE won't try to win him over, and that's a no no.. She crossed a seriously line in telling m that, and I wouldn't give her the chance to act on it.

thecoffeefairy
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:39 PM
Trust in your husband but tell him you thought that was a leading statement. It's quite possible she's trying to initiate something. Why exactly can't she go on walks anyway? Something sounds amiss.
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AnitaA
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:39 PM
1 mom liked this

I would have to agree with this, 100%...

She made a move on him (IMO she did, by telling him she used to have a crush on him... wtf - also that is disrespectful to you).

It is clear that she is NOT his friend, she wanted (maybe still does) to get with him! I would stay away from her completely.

Quoting xoch86:

THAT is when I would have a problem with it.. If they are just friends, fine.. Bt this female clearly had feelings for ur DH, and that could lead to trouble. Just because he doesn't want her , doesn't mean SHE won't try to win him over, and that's a no no.. She crossed a seriously line in telling m that, and I wouldn't give her the chance to act on it.


KylesMonkey
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:40 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm not sure I would be okey with that, but dh and I don't go out without the other partner, so I would wonder what was up.  When we got married, we go rid of all of our ex's and people we used to date/considered dating off of our social networking sites and phones.  We also have a no hiding phones policy.  It's no big deal since neither one of us is hiding anything.  Both of our ex's were cheaters, so we're sensitive to that.  

Maybe you can both go and agree to take turns with the baby?  Or find a time you can all get together outside of work?  ...hire a sitter or bring along a sitter to be responsible for the baby while you visit?

IndescribableMa
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:44 PM

I agree here. That's not to say your dh wouldn't set her straight if she initiates something, but by already knowing how she 'felt' or 'feels' about him, I myself wouldn't want him to go alone if it were my dh.

Quoting xoch86:

THAT is when I would have a problem with it.. If they are just friends, fine.. Bt this female clearly had feelings for ur DH, and that could lead to trouble. Just because he doesn't want her , doesn't mean SHE won't try to win him over, and that's a no no.. She crossed a seriously line in telling m that, and I wouldn't give her the chance to act on it.


KeimUNCmomof3
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:48 PM
1 mom liked this

So, why is he friends with her?  Why does he want to go talk to her?  I just don't understand that.  Especially since you said she told him she likes him.  I hope your husband is a good man and is trustworthy, but, I wouldn't be comfortable with the idea of them hanging-out, without me there.  

Jenni_Lynne71
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 4:38 PM
Not unless I went, too. That is just asking for trouble.
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TairyHesticle
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 4:40 PM
My husband wouldn't ever be interested in meeting up with another woman alone or at all.
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LClark1973
by Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 4:44 PM

 My husband had female friends at onne point, and I never said much about it. One of them had been around for a few years, and she caused a lot of trouble. I fianlly sat my husband down and pointed out exactly what her behavior was doing to us. It caused a fight everytime. I told him, because of her behavior she is not welcome here. He waffled for a few times , then just accepted that she is not supportive of our marriage and she is not welcome anymore in our life.


tifbrown
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:37 PM

Depends who it is, but that doesn't generally bother me.

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