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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

10 Signs It's Time to Get A Divorce - What are some other signs that it's time for a divorce?

Posted by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:58 AM
  • 5 Replies

10 Signs It's Time to Get A Divorce

Posted by Aunt Becky on November 21, 2012

As I've been in the middle of my own divorce, having moved out of the family home and into an apartment, I've been open about what I'm going through. Divorce is tricky, and if one person can read the words I write and feel less alone, than it's worth it.

The one thing I've been asked over and over again is this: "how did you know it was time to get a divorce?" It's a simple-sounding question, but the answers are far from simple and they are absolutely not one-size-fits-all.

So I've come up with a list of signs that it may be time to start considering the "D" word.

1) Forget the same page; you're not even on the same book. Most couples go through spells when they're disconnected and can't see eye to eye - it happens and it's nothing to worry about. But when you realize that's become the norm rather than the exception, it may be time to think about other options.

2) You compare your marriage to "the devil you know versus the devil you don't." Once you realize you're sticking it out because it's more comfortable than the alternative, your relationship is in serious danger.

3) You have lost any respect for the other person. Doesn't matter why or how it happened, but you realize that neither one of you respects the other anymore.

4) You begin to fantasize about how much you'd rather be alone - and it doesn't scare you to bits. In fact, the notion of being on your own is somewhat of a relief.

5) You realize that you're being treated in a manner that you do not deserve. Could be disrespect. Could be emotional abuse. Could be passive-aggressive behavior. But you know deep down that you deserve better.

6) All of those traits you once found endearing about your partner now make your teeth grind and your jaw clench.

7) You realize that your partner no longer fulfills any of your needs - emotional, spiritual, physical, or sexual.

8) You've tried a separation to see if that changes matters and it doesn't. You find yourself more frustrated by the situation and your partner than ever.

9) You realize you're only staying together for the kids. Kids know when their parents are miserable, and while divorce is traumatizing, it's important for kids to understand that both Mom AND Dad deserve to be happy.

10) You've seen a marriage counselor to work through your issues and it didn't help. You still cannot see eye to eye, no matter how hard you try.

What are some other signs that it's time for a divorce?

by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:58 AM
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Replies (1-5):
Lucky2BaMomof2
by Bronze Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 10:04 AM
He has kids with another woman... During your marriage...

He would rather spend every waking moment on video games as opposed to even acknowledging you or your children together...
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mrswolfs
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 11:03 AM

Your stomach starts knotting up and you start getting nauseous about an hour before you have to go home from work. You actually start working extra just to avoid going home. You feel like you have to walk on egg shells constantly. 

Brinaboo2022
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 4:54 PM

BUMP!

KyrinM
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 5:03 PM

I used to feel this way about going to bed.  Because bedtime meant I had to have sex with him or no sleep.  So I would postpone it as long as I could, even though I had to be up for work at 3am.  But going to bed was a major ordeal.  So glad we are no longer together.  Whew!  With DH now, I can't wait to go to bed, it means we are gonna stay up talking & being goofy, we rarely make love at night, it's a daytime thing.  LOL!

Quoting mrswolfs:

Your stomach starts knotting up and you start getting nauseous about an hour before you have to go home from work. You actually start working extra just to avoid going home. You feel like you have to walk on egg shells constantly. 


MagicTemptation
by Christina on Feb. 3, 2013 at 5:16 PM

In my opinion, all those things can be worked through if two people are willing to put in the effort to make a marriage work. The problem with marriage? People turn to divorce too quickly. 

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