Good morning ladies. Ever since me and my kids father got back together it has made things a lot easier on me having his help with the kids and with financial matters. He moved back in with me and was just recently laid off. He has been so depressed lately to a point to where I feel as if I have to tiptoe through the house and tell the kids to whisper things to me so that he wouldn't get more upset about anything that was said. He walks around with this mean and hateful look on his face like he's mad at the world. Just last week he got so angry and wouldn't talk to me that he actually lashed out. He was throwing things around the house and me and the kids were afraid. I have tried to talk to him several timesto let him know that I understand that he's upset that he has lost his job and that this is the time for us to pull together and not be distant. But he refuses to hear anything that I have to say. I also told him that he needs help and that I am tired of trying to talk to him to make things better.
On thanksgiving he didn't talk to me all morning so I invited him to go with me over to my family's where we were going to all gather to celebrate. He constantly tells me that he hates this time of year and that he hates the holidays. I told him that I love the holidays and if he feels that way that he doesn't have to be around me and the kids when we go over to my family's house. But he came along and had absolutely nothing to say to me while we were in the car. Later that day he drank and smoked a little weed and was started acting better. The next day we laughed and talked and I was afraid that he may start acting that way again and so here it is. He is broke and miserable. And there isn't much that I can do because I am only working part time. I just dont know what to do. He is a big help around the house and for this reason I really dont want him to leave but there is a part of me that is ready to tell him to go. I told him last week that he was going to have to leave if he keeps acting that way but after he started feeling better I changed my mind. I do love him but right now I am trying to figure out whats best for me and the kids. I know that I wouldn't want someone to leave me because I lost my job but I can't keep living with this hateful man.
His unemployment has not kicked in yet so I was thinking that maybe things will be better when it does. I am so unhappy right now. When I got home from work last night he didn't want to say anything to me so I kept bugging him to talk to me so that I can help him feel better but he refused. And then when I started to fall asleep he said that I act as if I dont love him and I have been really trying to show him that I care but it just isnt enough. Lately he's been treating me and the kids like he can't stand to be around us. I don't want to have to go through this anymore. It's weird because sometimes I feel like I need him around and at times I feel like I just want him to leave.
Right now I am at school getting ready to head to class and it has been so hard for me to focus since he's been laid off. Just this morning he got up in a bad mood and was looking very angry. I said to him "Im getting ready to leave" and he said "you are always leaving". Its like he wants me to stay at the house with him and I told him that I have things to do. Even when I am at home getting homework done he would say that i am always on the computer but I have a six page report that is due on Saturday. I dont think I'm going to pass some of my classes because sometimes I avoid doing my work because Im afraid that he's going to complain about me being on the computer so much. If I had the money I would give him some just so that he wouldn't be so unhappy with me all the time. I know this is too much.